passage of quiescence

2009-03-02T16:17:00.009+08:00

The One With One Year

Ok, I'm back to this blog and it's almost a full year since the last I've posted. The primary reason was because I was heavily involved in work with my last company and there was absolutely no time for other things to be done. Being really busy was the norm then and life right now for me is purely simple and relaxed.

Here's some updates. I've left my last company because I'm currently pursuing my part time degree studies with SIM-RMIT University. What else can I study but Mass Comm right? heh. Desperately studying for my M5, M9 and Health Insurance exams too because I'd be joining Prudential as a Financial Consultant. Not advisor, but consultant and there's a huge difference in meaning to that.

I'd be back again. =)

2008-03-24T01:18:00.004+08:00

The One With Updates

Busy busy busy! But like the catchphrase of Mac's, "I'm lovin it!". Will just add a "totally" behind the lovin for me. So for some who know, I've went back to Cafe del Mar to work, but had since left that place for the company I'm working now, Peter Knipp Holdings. It's a F&B consultancy company and I'm with the events team. Lucky me has 8 full timers who are all girls and 5 interns, 3 girls and 2 guys.

Quite alot of things to learn for me, cause I never really had a chance to type SO much during my last job and now using Excel like everyday man. I think I might be the next excel guru in time to come. Watch and pit your skills against me if you dare haha. Anyway, we are working on two projects now, they are the World Gourmet Summit (WGS) and the Singapore Food Festival (SFF). The WGS is just next month and for all you atas people out there, it's time for you to blow your dough on the best meals and exquisite culinary skills there is to offer. Be totally dazzled with the delectable cuisines available and get ready for yet another gastronomical event! More details, http://www.worldgourmetsummit.com/ . For those not so atas, you can try your hand at the SFF, happening this July. Be prepared to have your tummies filled with nothing but the best local dishes you can ever find and check your seatbelts ladies and gentlemen, you will be in awe when SFF comes around.

So Easter Vigil was great! Absolutely great! Loved all the songs we sang and I must say, if we do this every day, my united nations will probably just be nice six countries sitting back to back each other. Hahaha. There were so many hymns and most of them had to be sung over and over again during it's duration.

Let me update once again when I'm free but for now, it's back to excel, booklet co-ordination and more work. =)

frustrations

2008-02-14T01:04:00.004+08:00

The One With Frustrations

I want to help. I cannot stand the feeling of seeing my closest friends backslide and move away from church. I cannot just sit and watch them feel that whatever the ways that they are leading are in the best interest of their lives. I want to ask, I want to know why we have so many people from the Catholic faith moving away from the church. Are other Christian churches out there really much better and more interesting than us? What causes these movements? Is is because our priests are too naggy? Is it because the Mass is all but just one hour of boring sit down nagging session?

Where the hell are these parents of these children? Whatever happened to their promise to God on their wedding day at the altar, saying that they will bring up children of God and teaching them the right values and morales of the Church? Why do they even bother to have children and not BOTHER about their religious life? Is making money and putting food on the table so important? Ah yes, you may wish to argue and say, "But Adrian, you dont have children or a family to support. How would you know that its not tough to be a parent? How would you know it's a great challenge to teach them the word of God?" Oh yes, I agree, it's damn tough to be a parent.

I'm not saying that I'm fantastic in my Bible knowledge or want to preach and say that oh, other people are not as holy as me and I should just stand clear of their way, because it's sinful to mix with them. I'm not holy, I'm sinful. I indulge in so many forms of temptations that the church teaches us never to indulge in. My parents are doing their best to teach me what's right and wrong and I'm sure all parents around the world are doing the same to their children and it is always up to them to make the choice. Like this priest who will always say, "The Choice, Is Yours."

Yes, the choice is always ours. But why are there so many people who make the wrong choices and never at all see a need to make the right one? I know those who have backslided are blinded. Blinded by the choice that they make. Knowing that the choices that they make will make them happy. But by missing out on the community of church friends, missing out on the sacraments and missing out on the sharing of our Gospel, they are making the wrong choice. I'm not being harsh but I'm being judgemental. I am always judgemental, towards others and myself.

I don't think what I'm saying is wrong. I don't agree when someone tells me that by going to church every sunday, going for Novena services and going for choir practices or singing in the choir will not bring me up to heaven. I'm not saying that it does! But I know that I'm fulfilling my duties as a Catholic. To receive the sacraments, to have a community of like minded church friends and to spread the Gospel to the best of my knowledge. You mean, by telling me that my duties in church and my spending time with my family will not put food on the table is right? Are you perhaps telling me that I should not go for Mass every Sunday like you? You mean that by telling me although you don't go to church, you are sinless so you are a very holy person? You kid no one, but yourself. Only those who truly acknowledge that they are sinless and who do not need Christ in their lives are advocates of Satan.

I acknowledge that I am weak in the spirit and I go to church to be nourished. To be nourished by God's works and words through people, through the priest and through homilies. To hopefully change and be a better person than I was yesterday or the day before. What's wrong with the desire of wanting to change? The primary aim of having confessions is for us to acknowledge and challenge us to be better Christians, to be closer to our faith, to give us the knowledge that we know we sinned, and are prepared to change for the better. To understand the fundamentals of confession, we have to reconcile with ourselves. Only by doing that, we are able to reconcile with others and the way we treat them.

Being judgemental is fine, as long as you are doing that to yourself as well. The key word here is to challenge yourself and challenge others in knowing how to lead a better and closer life with Christ. That's all that is about to being a Christian, isn't it? As cliche as it may sound, but yes! To make this world a better place, isn't it?

It's never easy to forgive and forget, but do we put in mind those who have forgiven and forgotten our faults that we made to them? So shouldn't we try to forgive and forget others? Even for those who have tried their best to make amends, should they be casted and chucked aside? Shouldn't a chance be given to them to make amends?

We all have our negative personalities and characteristics. It is impossible to be perfect, but it is possible to work towards that goal. Only when you have a goal in mind, will you work hard towards it and cherish that sweet victory of conquering your goal. Even if you fail, try and try again. There's no harm to it, is there?

Too Tough

2007-10-18T00:35:00.000+08:00

The One Where Keeping Still, Steady and Standing Gets Too Tough

To blog, I would need a lot of inspiration to talk about matters or problems that are on going in my life, since they are all that is happening to me right now. Clicking back and re-reading my old posts, I could honestly miscount on the number of happy posts that I had. I know the word happy or sad could very well be superficial, they are words that can hold meaning to so many events that lead up to how a person feels. And right now, I'm feeling really lousy, really broken, and any other similar adjectives or verbs that can be fit into just putting my point across.

In some of my posts, I would talk about asking and advising others not to give up hope. Not to be taken to despair but brace up and march along forward. I liken life to be just like continuous swimming. When you start off, the laps are breezy and easy to get along with and that's when the analogy of our parents come in where they'll take care of our every needs and wants as a baby. Come the 10th lap, you'll feel the slight toil of the heart pumping harder and harder for more oxygen, but the situation is still easy to press on. This speaks of our days in school, where studies mounts up and play an important part of our foundation building in life. There absolutely should be no distraction for when there's a destructive break, the career in life will not be smooth sailing. But even at that moment, we fret not, for our parents and friends are there to put an arm around us and say, "its ok, you can do it." Adding that statement with a smile or maybe two.

Come the 20th lap or more, you will start to think "should I stop at the 30th or 40th, or take a break now to ensure a longer distance of swimming?" We take too many breaks in life, and these breaks are sometimes good, while most are bad if taken for a long period of time. How do we cross the finishing line and meet our ultimate goal and at the same time completing minor and major goals along the way? Perseverance and the thirst for wanting to learn helps a lot if not fully.

Digressing, I was talking about how I would urge others never to give up, because if they think of this as a positive way, they will see that whatever troubles that they are facing, it could never be as comparable to others who would be facing troubles that are 10 or 100 times worse than them. This principle has always stuck to my mind and I will always use it each time I feel dragged down like a thousand bricks pulling me down in the pool.

As always, it never is easy to pick ourselves up and we can never do it alone, no matter how strong our minds are. There will be people, things, events, situations, our favorite things in life to help us get by. Sometimes even temptation will gladly help us get by our troubles. It is so easy to brood over a predicament over a glass of drink and allow it to bring us to another world where imperative events can just wait that moment for our attention to come later. Taking sips, gulps or simply just downing the glass can effectively bring us to another realm. It indeed is easy to take flight, but escapism is never ever the passport to accomplishments. It only stones us momentarily and takes away the precious time we have in solving the crux of the problem.

That being said, I still need a listening ear, someone to just listen and let me be who I want to be just for that moment and perhaps take it through with that form of escapism that's mentioned above. I guess, a glass or two won't hurt. For when times like these come about, keeping still, steady and standing will prove to be just a tad too tough for me. And sometimes, I'd just like to say,

noah and allie

2007-09-29T02:29:00.000+08:00

The One With Noah And Allie

The gorgeous story of Noah Calhoun and Allie Hamilton tells us very much of a simple tag line, "Behind every great love is a great story". I remember catching this awe inspiring movie a couple of years ago and it struck me to be a powerful and captivating movie of a boy, probably when he was 20 and a girl, 17 having one of the greatest love stories of all time. It begins with an elderly man, always eager to start his day as he reads to his wife who stays at an aged home and suffers amnesia.

He would always be encouraged whenever she responds happily at any point of the story which gives him the hope of her recovering and finally remembering who he was, the love they shared when they were younger and the family that they have. From the first moment he saw her, he knows for a fact who she'd be to him for the rest of his life. A person never willing to accept failures, he tried a couple of times in asking her to go out with him and to know what sort of a person he really was. Being as sincere as he could be, Allie was drawn to him like bees to honey. It wasn't before long that they dated and could never be separated at any times of the day. They spent their summer at the beach, in the parks, in the movies, in the countryside lakes, she learning how to drive from him and him learning that he loves her more and more as each passing day comes.

Arguments among the both of them were aplenty but that has never wavered the love that they have for each other. It was as solid as a diamond and as strong and fit as a fiddle. Sadly though, both of them were from a different ends of a financial string. Noah's family was from the countryside and Allie's were from the rich, wealthy and learned. She plays the piano and paints for pleasure and he works at a construction side and builds furniture for pastime. Surely needless to say, Allie's parents despised him and feels that she shouldn't be mixing with the likes of Noah and his friends. Staying steadfast in her love for Noah, she chose to stand by him but could not eventually defy her parents as they forced her to live in New York, far away from where Noah would be. Noah then proceeds to mull over her and being the hopeless romantic that he was, he would write her a letter every single day for 365 days straight. However, Allie never replied, not because she didn't want to, but because her letters were kept by her mother who totally disapproved of their relationship.

In time, Allie read in the papers of Noah renovating a house that she loved and that was how she was reminded of him. Despite being engaged to her fiance, she took time and returned to the countryside where Noah lived and they rekindled their romance and cleared up whichever misunderstandings that they had. It wasn't easy for her to make the decision of leaving her fiance, but her heart told her what she needed to do, after seeing the great pains that Noah invested in rebuilding the house in her memory.

Great love speaks not just in words, but through actions and it is important that if we do love someone, whether is it a relative or a person whom you feel you can spend the rest of your life with, never take a moment and be laid back, for when there is a time for you to express your love, do it. Most of us live with regrets and mulling over things that we should've done to make the other party happy, but what is the point when you had the chance, but never want to do it? Most importantly of all, it doesn't really matter how the other party feels at the end of the day, but what really matters is that you did what you had wanted to do, thus living without regrets.

Tribute

2007-08-31T03:52:00.000+08:00

The One With The Tribute

Click on song number 10, "Candle In The Wind" as you read this post. Back in the year 1997, I was just a boy struggling to get acquainted with the new life of secondary school and the enormous workload of my studies that I had to compare with the primary school standard. Well, this entry is definitely not about my 1st year in secondary school, but it is a tribute to the late Princess Diana of Wales.

It was a time when Britney Spears and The Spice Girls weren't so popular, well at least the latter was up and coming but not the former as she wasn't so heard of. It was also a time when everyone was discussing about the big year 2000, also known as the millennium and whether the second coming of Christ would be upon us. During that period of time, I remember coming home one day and my parents informed me the news of the passing of the late Princess Diana of Wales and my mother was especially upset but I didn't know the reason why. Perhaps it was because Princess Diana was a beautiful person, not just with her looks but as well as her perfect personality mixed with her charisma, high profile charity and public work. My family and I joined about the 2.5 billion worldwide and watched her funeral on the television days later. It didn't occur to me how this special person has touched the lives of millions until I read about her in the papers. It seems, that she has set a role model and standard for all of us to follow not just with charity work, but also showing us that although she is a Princess, it didn't hinder her from getting close to AIDS victims.

Princes William and Henry or Harry (where some may refer him as), may not have led the lives they thought they would have. It isn't usual for a person to be laden with the sadness of losing his mother and it had happened to the two young princes. Coupled with the stress they had to go through in school and also with the handling of the media at such a young age, it wasn't at all easy to accept the passing of their mother. But they should be able to take comfort that the world is with them in recognition of the work their mother has done for the less fortunate.

Mother Teresa with Princess Diana

Today the 31st of August 2007, marks a decade since the passing of the world's most loved princess and she indeed lives to her title as the "People's Princess". Although she hasn't made a significant impact to my life, but I'm sure with those whom she has touched, she will never be forgotten. Rest in peace princess, your family and the world will always remember you as "England's rose" and "the candle in the wind".

Knot

2007-08-28T00:52:00.000+08:00

The One With The Knot Untied

And at last, the knot is untied and I feel a little much better to be back here and do what I did love to do in the past, that is to type out my thoughts in chunks and rattle off endlessly. As I listen to Kevin Kern's tracks over and over on my iTunes, my eyes would close and I'd pause on typing and think back about the past, the cheerful and fun times, the sad and uncomfortable ones and also sometimes the inevitable heart wrenching ones. As the music changes its tempo and mood, I too, would feel the difference in my heart and at times, I'd let out a large sigh and think to myself, "why didn't I do or say this?" or "why did I say or do that?". There's so much that we can only do to regret in life, and staying regretful is something we cannot afford to do. For where is the joy in doing that? You'll only cause yourself heartaches and frustrations and it'll be present there in your subconsciousness in everything that you do in your daily work and chores. And that is such a no go man I tell ya.

So I'm pretty happy the knot is untied and I can go back to my usual life, not thinking about the questions that frequently come about in my mind. It's a nice feeling to be free, free from worries that you worried so much before, free from anxieties that'll grip you at every other moment of your day. I won't say that I'm absolutely elated with the decision that was finally made, but I'm pretty sure it's for the best and in all truthfulness, I really have no awkward feelings to it now that the air is finally cleared. Most things will end of on a sour and unhappy note, but such is life and we've to live with it right? There are too many outcomes that we hope will happen for our sake and for our benefits but if God were to allow every outcome to be what we hope for it to be, then won't this place just be too picture perfect? No no, it can't be and it never will be. We have to understand and acknowledge that every single outcome that happens, it remains as a test, a test to make you stronger and bigger willed to make your next attempt a far more superior and improved one.

More things can be said for I've plenty to go on about this, but when things have reached this juncture, not much can or could be said. What's most important is not to regret, look back and sigh a good deal, but to look forward and onward into a future brimming with opportunities and gleaming chances that awaits you. The past is only present for us to learn from it and the present is the key to a successful future if we work towards it.

2007-08-25T03:09:00.000+08:00

The One With Flaunt It Baby!

relationships/

2007-06-23T01:45:00.000+08:00

The One Where Disappointment Drags Me Down A Pool With A Thousand Bricks

It's been a long time since the last entry and whenever I've the mood to blog, something would always come up and suddenly it feels really difficult to blog about it. Have you ever held on to something or someone really precious in your hands and told yourself that even if you were to die, you'd never let it go? Or perhaps if you had to let it go to something or someone else, you would say you will rather die than to give it up. I'm sure for a 100% that you've been in such a confusion. Complexities in life have never at all failed to amaze me and what conclusions can I ever come up to it? Sometimes with an answer, sometimes never having one. Because for a fact, complexities are meant to be solved and sometimes no matter how hard I try to solve a problem, (usually like right now, we are talking about human to human problems) I can solve it. But you know, there are just some instances when I totally can't and I feel very much at a total lost now, for it frustrates me completely. I don't want to give up what I'm holding on to, because I believe that through the characteristics and personality that I see and experience, I know that this is what I've been hoping for, for the past 23 years of my life.

As much as I can say how private a blog can be, it could also be a very very public one. I try not to say whatever I have in my heart and as a result, let out only a minor fraction of a story I choose to tell. Sometimes however, it could be the complete story if you knew me well enough and understand what I've been trying to say in all my entries. When it comes to relationships, I'd try to be as private as I can about it, but sometimes it's just difficult when everyone starts probing. This is a problem because sometimes you'd feel that that person might not be "The One" for you and you know it wouldn't last, hence not wanting everyone to know about it. However, there can only be one ultimate time when you've decided and hoped that the person you are seeing could be "The One" but you still can't tell the whole world because the person might not necessarily hope that you are "The One". Get my drift?

This is not a complex point, however, it is indeed a disappointing point. I've never talked about my past relationships or posted photos of them because I've never at all felt that they could be the ones I'd spend a long and considerable amount of time with and journey with them during the important milestones of my life and theirs'.

Because when this is a blog that is made public, everyone, even people I do not speak with in years could read what is going on in my life, they could see that in this instance, Kelly is the only girlfriend that I've featured and anyone would know that although I don't speak much about her, she is and surely will always be the most important person in my life, besides my family that is.

When I look at my sister and my brother in law and the beautiful and growing relationship they've had for these 9 years, (8 years in courtship) I look at myself and wonder, what exactly is wrong with mine? Because for a simple fact, for the past 4 months, I felt that I've found someone that I've been really looking for all this time and she possess all the qualities I hoped for in a girlfriend. Forgive me readers, as you might feel that you wouldn't want to read this. I'd understand for sometimes when I read about relationships in blogs, I'd shake my head and mumble that it is something so private, so you should keep it to yourself. Somehow, I thought I'd share on this aspect in my life, because I've always been quiet and evasive on it. This time however, it is important to me because I'm taking it seriously. I think that after the struggles, this might be the end, yet again for me and I've to hold in my hands another relationship that is destroyed. Many have asked why I've not been my usual self or always looking tired, my answer would always be school and projects, but I know my real answer is in racking my brains to salvage a relationship I hold with her that I put so closely to my heart. Some might say "she is just another girl, another passing person." But I'd like to correct that she is not. You'd know it when you meet one. Trust me on this. This is not about being impractical and ignoring my sleep or ignoring things that I ought to do. I still do my school projects, I still go to work, I still go for choir practices and church and I still hang out with friends. Sometimes I would ask myself, why am I trying so hard, despite this same problem happening over and over and over again? I feel so tired, so frustrated, sometimes even angry at the situation that I absolutely have no control over. I would come up with excuses to say, this is a passing phase, it'd go away very quickly in time to come and with proper understanding, proper sit down discussions to eliminate the threats, it'd be solved. True enough, it did. But I cannot understand at all, why is it always coming back? As a result, I'd lose faith in it, that's why I'm blogging about this, because I don't know how to be happy in this relationship anymore. I don't know how to save it, I don't know what else I could do or say. All I know is, if that similar decision has been decided over and over again, it would be difficult to reverse and remedy. Two remedies I know can solve this,

1. Solve the previous problem and never bringing it up again which is hard for it involves feelings.

2. Let you have what you feel is the right situation and never turning back with no regrets.

As I heaved a large sigh, I honestly do not know how I can continue blogging from here. As the heading suggest, the feeling I have right now is like having a thousand bricks bounded and tied to me while I take the plunge of life and it is a sheer struggle to keep myself afloat. It takes many moments of trepidation before I type out the next every single word because this is a gamble I'm taking. This would either make or break the relationship that I have come to love the most. Maybe in this course of road that we take, we can never make sure what lies ahead of us and what we can only do is to solve and rectify the problems that come our way. I've always been practical in this sense, but however, I'm deemed by you to be an idealist. Now, its not just feelings of apprehension but it even comes to my brows furrowing with frowns that I just cannot seem to take away. I'd love to stay and make this work for I've envision what our lives could be together. Selflessly, I know for a fact if you don't feel the same way, I simply cannot force and dictate that you stay with me. I wish I could be selfish and always hold you on in my arms, to be your protector, your source of happiness, that shoulder you can always count to lie upon and that hands that will always be there to comfort you and hug you when things go wrong.

Sadly, as much as I would want to do this all just only for you, you might feel I might not be the one for you. The problems we face can and will be worked on, as long as we unite and counter them together with sacrifices that we can make to make it all better once again. All I ask is for you to reconsider this relationship that we have, the effort, time and energy that we've put in because our chance meeting in the pool was never a deliberate one, for it surely was the work of nature and the right timing. Never have I been happier in my life for having to meet you was one of the greatest things that has happened for me.

My past relationships have all been lessons for me and they were all stepping stones to correct my faults and failures. To make me learn and understand how to be in a relationship, how to be loving and understanding. They were all lessons intended for me, just to prepare me and be ready for you. One cannot force another to feel the same way, perhaps we weren't meant to be but if you share my views, I hope you can consider and don't let this all just fade away. I ask of you, please.

Thoughts

2007-04-25T04:49:00.000+08:00

The One With Some Thoughts.. Just Some..

You know there are times when you just hope that certain things just don't befall on you? Like when you see someone fall and break an arm, you'd cringe and hope that it doesn't happen to you. Or maybe perhaps when you see a friend who is lovelorn and sad that his relationship didn't work out, you'd feel for him and secretly cross your fingers and hope that it doesn't happen to you. How about the time when you saw someone spilt a big dash of gravy on his white shirt and you wish for that moment, that it wouldn't happen to you next.

Have you ever asked why does this world often bother so much about a person's qualifications, his choice of work or what he drives? I'm sure you have and it'll hit you hard if you are that person who don't possess whatever qualification that you'd need or work in a job that earns respect and not a receive a frown upon knowing what you do. Sometimes when life may seem so smooth flowing with everything going your way and you'd do your best in every single way possible to enhance the preventive measures to keep whatever that may go wrong happen, and there's always or rather a sudden "but still.." And so "but still.." will always happen in our lives. You can never make sure that everything will go your way and be smooth flowing. There are a billion and one factors to sway you out of the current path you take and these factors can hurt you so much and you'd wish that it had never happened to you. Don't you feel that sometimes you'd hope that something bad will never happen in any situation you're in and that when you feel safe for that moment or longer, and suddenly at the next instant, it is taken away from you. Just like that, at the snap of the fingers and at the blink of an eye.

Why is it so painful, you may ask. Why did this have to happen to me, why does it even have to happen at all. Such questions go through the minds of millions around the world and the only consolation that they could get is if they think about the rest of the population and the problems that they've encountered might be a 100 times far worse than whatever they themselves have gotten. Truly, only the strong in mind would be able to surpass fears of anxiety, loneliness and heartbreak. We were given a brain to think, to multitask, to control and balance how we'd feel in different situations and circumstances. We have the ability to know what we want and execute our thoughts into deeds and be happy with what we were given but how many, are able to be strong in that factor? It is so difficult to be stuck in a moment you just can't get out of and that moment can be so excruciatingly painful. Sometimes when you feel all alone, you get funny thoughts in your mind, you get to be paranoid and you start to think about so many things that may not even happen.

But you know, as much is being said, this is life. Handle it well, because it's yours. I've my own struggles to upkeep and they aren't easy at all. So many have said, "you will enjoy the fruits of you labour." Or, "you reap what you sow". Maybe if they are referring to bad karma, I'd understand. But what I don't understand is when many who've tried their best, utmost best in fact, but they do not receive the fruits of their labour. They would feel that "you know, yes! this is it, I've found what I've been looking for and I'm gonna treasure and cherish this with all my might, heart and soul". As cliche as this may sound, but it goes through the minds of many when they've achieved something that may seem unattainable. I've so many things so say, so many things I want to rectify, so many things I'd love very much to do but I feel strapped to my chair, locked in a cell so invisible, but yet, it seem so real.

The only way to heal is, Time. For time is a wonderful gift that's given to us to make proper use of. It is infinite and the only way to handle it is with management and patience. Men since the ancient times, have always had the need to be tempted by so many things around him and he has always been saying things he'd do, and promises that he'd keep. How many, oh how many have stuck to their oath and made good their word? I shall wait, wait and hope for something beautiful to happen again and if fate decrees, it shall be what it should be. Sacrifices should always be made in life because you do know that when you sacrifice something, another good thing will appear, hopefully of course..

It's late, I've to go and this time I've to force myself to sleep because I've classes at 9am. Beating the traffic with a big bike with two side boxes seem always so stressful and I hope that these 6 crucial weeks, I can be strong enough to have a clear mind whenever I'm on the road because I've not accomplished what I've planned to do. Wish me luck and include me and all others in your prayers and I ask humbly for strength and a positive attitude to march on this passage of quiescence.

Remember, treasure the things and the people you have around you. Really, treasure it dearly and relish each and every moment of it for it is important to do so. Trust me, you'll never know how hard it'll hit you until it happens to you...

a week after easter

2007-04-19T01:54:00.000+08:00

The One Where Days In School Weren't So Fun

I wouldn't call the past three days a blast although it was fun starting lectures all over again but it just wasn't the same without the ex mdis people I had in class. I would remember us slacking in the canteen before lessons begun and after lessons where we'll just lepak (Diana's favourite word) in or outside of school. I miss having a meal with them during our break times and in the past three days I was just having my meals alone or with someone else whom I wasn't close to. I remember smoking breaks where it was fun to have chats with Dorothy, Lynda, Javier, Darren, Dennis, Khoi and sometimes Leon when he'd just join us just for the sake of chatting. I miss the 3 famous bitches who are one of my best group of female friends Yati, Diana and Jolene. I miss Khoi who would try his darnest to scold vulgarities in hokkien, taught by Dennis and made us all laugh at his Vietnamese accent. We weren't being rude, but just very humoured at the way he sounds. I miss Dennis, who would be the big brother that he was, looking after us and making sure we're ok. I miss Nathan and his crazy laughter and all his gayness although he's a real big man inside. Nathan who would always make plans for us to meet up and gather us to have a good meal outside of school. He who would have funny expressions that'll make you laugh even when a joke wasn't funny.

I miss Darren and Javier. We were the three musketeers who would always be there for each other. I miss the rides that Javier and I would always take to school on my bike, squeezing in through the busy traffic of the day and how much he'd trust me when I was just a P plate rider. I miss Darren for his boyishness and the way he can make us all sayang him even when he was in the wrong. I miss Dorothy, the leader of the group. I miss her laughter too and the way she takes care of us. I miss the long conversations I would have with her, sorting out problems of everyone and even with ourselves'. I miss Lynda, who's always late for class but walks in nonchalantly and oblivious to the lecturers' stares. I miss her petite frame and the way she coolly swaggers. She was always fun loving, laughing with us and I miss the serious side of her when she was angry. I miss her, the newest addition to our group and how she rocks and how everyone of us love her despite her being the super oldest in the group.

Who could forget Yati, Diana and Jolene? Who would always sit by each other in class and were like super duper glue who could never be separated? They were the ones who would decide to skip classes together and come late together no matter how late the last one would be. I miss Linxi, the only china lady to be with our group for her excellent usage of English and how she would often laugh along with the boys at our flirtatious chats with her and always being so helpful in making sure we've all our notes with us. Who could forget Athena? The biggest organiser of the group? The one who was the most responsible of us all. She would never be afraid of tiredness and would strive her best for the projects she did. I miss her determination in getting work done and in making sure we're reminded of any mistakes that we made. Who could forget Leon and his mushroom head? The endless jokes we'd make fun of him openly in class and him never being angry.

There's so many more things to add on each and everyone of you for giving me the BEST memories in Mdis and truly, without every single one of you, it really is different in here and my days will never be the same again. All of you mentioned here are special to me in ways we will only understand and I'd really love to meet everyone really soon. Ah damn it, this is getting emotional, how not to be when I've a really good bunch of friends from here? :)

I've finally bought my bike (altogether now, "HURRAY!") but it wasn't at all smooth sailing in the beginning. This and that was spoilt and I've spent many days to get it up and well. All thanks to Sham and Jason for helping me so much. Owe you guys a million man. :)
The power of the bike is far by much better than my old one and it's really great to be riding on a bike that's much bigger and taller. That being that, having a big bike has its perks too. You won't be bullied by drivers on the road so often and its only a very few minority who would do so to you. Take for instance today, when Sham and I were on our way back, as he was filtering into the zebra crossing lane, a taxi driver just swerved into his path without a signal or even a wave of the hand to apologize. Maybe it was his tiredness that he had in him so Sham was really pissed off, he went just behind the driver and high beamed him. I rode to the front of the driver and blocked his way, travelling at only I think 20km/h or less and the front car was already like more than 100 metres away. I think we pissed the driver but he didn't dare to horn nor high beamed us back. It went on for the whole of the Serangoon road flyover till the exit and every car that passed by us didn't seem to horn at us as well. I think they must've realised that the taxi driver was at fault. I suddenly feel like an evil road bully, but to my defence, he almost caused an accident to a fellow biker.

Sometimes it's difficult to have a religion where everything you do has to be screened by it. I don't know for sure if the opening to this passage should even be thought of by me but how I really feel is that if you're a Catholic, you should really try your best to behave like one. Or maybe, just try and talk like one. You see, I've always felt its important that we should behave ourselves in church. The way we talk, speak and carry ourselves. There should be a certain type of control of what we speak of our Lord. Maybe if you speak a little differently to just a friend or a close group of friends, it's fine but never to a large group of people who don't even know what's your surname. Take for instance, you don't cry out in exasperation and say "OMFG" to a group of people of all ages. If I'm not wrong, it stands for "oh my freaking God" or "oh my fucking God". Is there really a need to talk like that? The young ones and the older ones will be asking what the hell was that and after being explained to, what will they think of you? A person leading a group of church singers and you talk like that? There really must be self control and at least the God fearing element in you. Respect is what that has to be shown to these people. Take another instance, you don't say "like wtf?" and for those who wouldn't know would again have to ask around again. Don't tell me you're referring to "like Wednesday, Thursday and Friday?" Of course you meant "like what the fuck?"!

Is there a need really, to speak like this in church especially when you address a large crowd? What are you trying to prove also when you refer our Lord to as "the person who's like that" and then you proceed an action of outstretched arms. Is is so hard to say Jesus or even our Lord? Why are you trying to prove by talking like that? Where is the respect for the man who died for all of us and was tortured beyond recognition just for the sake that we'd be saved? Sure, you have to manage everyone and ensure things are done well here and there, but if you agree to serve, then serve in the right way. What's the point of cultivating a half fuck standard and showing disrespect to the very person who founded this beautiful religion? There's so many ways to describe our Lord. You said it in a mocking way and I disrespect you even if you're a leader in church.

Easter

2007-04-08T03:00:00.000+08:00

The One Where Easter Brought My Family Close

Going out with my family has never been a full strength kind of thing for us because my dad would always give us the reason that he needs to work. He's pretty much a workaholic I should say. It was surely a turn of events when on Good Friday, he decided to take a break and I suggested that we would go catch a movie after we attended the service in church. As such, he had already planned for a nice seafood dinner for my belated birthday treat and a movie that followed after would be good. Here's a big secret, my dad has never caught a movie at the big screens before. The only one that he has seen was those old drive in kinds with my mum when they were dating in the past. Can you imagine? That was more than 29 years ago! Yes, 29! (Jie, you're getting damn old, time to give me a nephew or a niece, really it's time.)

So when we entered the theatre, he was like "wow, so big ah!" You see, I purposely chose one of the best cinemas in Golden Village for they happen to be my favorite cinema group. Wanted to let the family have a nice walk in Vivocity, but the tickets were all pretty much snapped up so I chose the next best alternative, Gv Grand and the movie Shooter will be screened in Cinema hall 6 which is a very big theatre. The best would be, if it were screened in theatre 1, which is my ultimate favourite theatre by the way. Anyway, the movie's really good, I loved it, my family digged it and I'm sure the rest of the movie-goers that night will agree with my sentiments. In fact, anyone who has watched it will agree with me. Mark's so alluring in the film that I can't help but imagine myself playing as Bob Lee Swagger. Oh, so cool, so handsome and so suave. No woman can resist his charm, except his mother of course. He walks with a swagger and talks as though he perpetually has food in his mouth and he has a screen buddy's beau, the lovely and seriously over the top sexy Kate Mara who steams up the screens with her presence. I love the way the movie was directed and produced. Comic reliever Michael Pena cracks the audience with his goofy ways of answers and how much of a push over he was. Ironically, this dumbbell character proved us wrong when he investigated like a wolf with a whiff of a prey.

The movie's awesome for its visual effects but the story line's a bit weird. Why would a senator and a high ranking colonel in the army go against the president? I realise that American movies love to produce films that always have something to stand up to against their president.

So, that was Friday. Saturday was spent having breakfast in Ikea and we bought a few stuffs for sis' home. She got an Easle aka a standing drawing block for her God daughter who turns 3 tomorrow and a quilt cover for me. But she will not be forgiven even if she bought me a king sized bed because she has not given me a nephew or a niece yet. After that short shopping spree we drove to Hyundai to collect my mum's car after servicing and straight to seletar camp we went for a quick car wash by mornington resort's workers. $6 of their dough was spent on the service and how I wished that I had my bike with me then. Maybe they could take $3 of my bankroll and wash my bike for me haha. I was pretty spent after that and I needed a bed to crash on. The nearest one would be in my sis' home and I needed a rest before I headed to church for choir mass practice at 5pm and while doing so, I couldn't work for these 2 days. It was pretty important for Catholics to fully devote these 2 days in church and not be distracted by work. After all, CDM has employed another 2 new bartenders and whom I see, are pretty good at their work. So, my duties are relieved by them. Choir during the mass was splendid for a few songs. Could awesomely hear the echo boomed throughout the whole of Holycross. There were some songs that we didn't start on together and well well, I wonder who's to blame. As usual and foretold, many singers didn't know their parts because of whatever I've complained about in the last post. Although I attended some practices, I still could not remember some of my parts during the mass, much to the Damien's dismay.

When I was a little boy, I've always enjoyed family outings and whenever I hear of my friends having the luxury of spending time with their family outside of home, I would really feel envious because their parents are as old as mine and I just couldn't comprehend why would my parents always choose to stay home. Perhaps now that we've our own transport, they are more willing to travel around and most of the time, my sis, bro-in-law and I would be footing the bills of the day's expenses. I'm not complaining, I'm enjoying it in fact because we can all come out as a family and enjoy the entertainment and food that the government has to offer with our income tax being used to pay with SO many things. Still, no complains. Really.. No, seriously!

Well dear mum and dad, you're getting on in years and it's really time you should enjoy the fruits of your labour, let ah jie (the one who hasn't given me a nephew and a niece) and I be the ones who bring you out and enjoy what life has to offer. Nothing beats spending quality time together as a family for life is so unpredictable and we never know who's turn it is to go next. The television at home isn't the only entertainment that was ever invented by man you know? :)

Time to hit the sack and prepare myself to study tomorrow as I've a paper on Tuesday. Wish me good luck! And oh, I'm getting my bike on Thursday if all goes well. :) NO MORE PUBLIC TRANSPORT!

Public transport

2007-03-28T01:07:00.000+08:00

The One With Public Transport

I can surely go on and on how much I detest public transport. It isn't about the service, the cleanliness or the promptness of it but just how time consuming and irritating it is. I think probably, I've been spoilt rotten on having my own private transport that I simply cannot fathom the thought of my long journeys from point A to B whenever I don't have my bike with me. Today marks the day that public transport has irritated me to my very nerves. I could never resist the thought of asking my parents to give me a lift wherever I am. Spoilt I know, but I just couldn't curb the temptation of that. Ever since last Friday and Saturday, my mum was pretty kind enough to give me a lift to Vivocity where I'd take the express tram to work in CDM and thankfully, there was the night transport home.

Sunday was good as well, mum gave me a lift to church for the super sickening combined choir practice that was so bloody uncoordinated by the choir instructor. It isn't because he isn't good at all these choir stuffs, but it's just the slipshod attitude that he gives that everyone would feel "oh, this is ok lah, since he has this standard, we would also have that loh". It totally is different during our own practices. Cheryl and John would make it a point that we would have to learn our parts and they make it interesting for us to do so. They made sure that where we practice would have air-conditioning (its bloody important to have that when you want to concentrate and sing well and hear each other well. Singing well as a group isn't as easy as opening your fly and peeing you know? There's alot of group effort and the thirst for wanting to do well.) And why must we have a damn idea to have a combined practice? Especially just 3 practices for an important mass like Easter?! You know, I feel that whoever planned this, thinks too highly of a combined choir practice. You set a stupid goal like this for everyone who isn't familiar with each other to achieve and when things get fucked up? We are to blamed for not singing well. Ask yourself, what kind of place are we given to practice? How much time are we given? How much cohesiveness do we have as a group? We don't even know each other's names! For your beloved bak chor mee's sake! We would need months of preparation, and in the process, get to know each other, gel as a group and are comfortable with working with one another. I enjoy practices with my own choir very much because I love each and everyone of them to bits. And we're able to have fun during choir. But these Sunday practices as a whole? No, they suck to the core I'm telling you. The only good thing I get out of all of these is to be able to see my friends and spend a few hours with them and get away from work on a Sunday.

Going back to the instructor, yes, he has a nice body and all and if I were a women, I would be bowled over by his well built physique (just like his two loyal doggy supportors who'd laugh and squeal like little bunnies at even his slightest movement or dead jokes. Even when he was breathing, they found it cute. Ask me why are they like that and I'd just think they are loved-struck. Yeah I'm bitching now, but I don't give a tiny rats ass.) and yes he could sing and play the instruments and conduct but I just couldn't stand the way he talks. Sure, some stuffs that he says are funny, but ever since I've attended masses in the mornings, I could never stand him. Don't ask me why, ask everyone else who shares the same opinion about him. It's pretty sad to be bitched about when you've not done anything wrong right? *shrugs* I guess, wherever you are, you'd surely be bitched about randomly by someone you do or do not know.

That, ladies and gentlemen is just Sunday. Monday was the day I went back to the swimming pool and it's at Jurong East! For duck rice's sake, I didn't have my bike and I've to travel so freaking far away. Ok ok, I know it's not all that bad but like I've said in the beginning of this post, I'm spoilt with private transport and it sucks to be walking so much and spending so much time jostling with the rest of the crowd and smelling body odours. Not that I smell incredibly nice, but I certainly do not appreciate the stifling smell of a few who do not take care of their hygiene. Tuesday! Don't get me started.. Met Kelly in Compass point for lunch and from there, I've to travel all the way to Queenstown Mrt. I'm not complaining because it's at compass point for I don't mind meeting her anywhere, even if in Changi. It's just the travelling that I hate. I know this is getting abit to your nerves as you read this and you must be saying, stop nagging like an uncle. But really, I've to get it off my chest. At least for this post because I'm in a frustrated mood.

Had a presentation today and our lecturer praised us for a job well done. I decided that it was pointless to stick around in campus, so I decided to head on down to Cheryl's place for choir practice with the rest. Again, you know what I'm gonna say right? But this time, I took a cab. Cost me $8.50 because of the extra $2 surcharge, otherwise, it would just be $6.50. I'm not complaining because at least I didn't have to walk and it felt nice being driven around again. In this post, I appear as a whiny bastard who must have his mummy to pick up his shit after him but trust me, once you've your own vehicle and when you are so used to it and suddenly it's being taken away from you, give me a ring and I'd judge you if you're a bastard or not.

Have a good week travelling, whether its your own vehicle or public transport. And damn it, I missed the show after hours. WHY? Don't get me started.

phantom

2007-03-22T01:02:00.000+08:00

The One With The Departure

So with good news, sometimes they'll bring bad news and I've to let my precious bike go. Rode it for the last time late into the night just now and I must say that I do have feelings for this bike that I've had for a year and 2 months.

If I didn't remember wrongly, I've rode her every single day without fail, maybe just on one or two occasions when I didn't because it was raining really heavily or when I was home. I'll always remember the Johor trips, the trip to Kulai in Malaysia, the countless trips to the bike shop for servicing to be done and of course the very unfortunate accident that we had together. Had an advertisement on the bike forums and potential buyers were really fast to snap up the deal. Some offered as low as $1.3K and others would go as far as $1.7-$1.8. Another buyer offered the highest, at $2k and of course I'd let it go. It was the nearest to my expected price.

As I parked my bike in the parking lot, I was unwilling to leave the space as you know, I couldnt bear to. Aiyah, why so emotional? It's only a bike.. But to be honest, she's been with me to every part of Singapore on all my trips, gave a few of my friends lifts home and gave me very little problems. Well, I will always miss you and hope your new owner will treat you well. :)

Went Chinaone with my bar guys and one of our managers Naser last week and we had quite alot of fun, playing pool. A game that we've enjoyed since we were all 16 years of age. Drank a little and took a cab home. Here are some of the photos that we've taken together.

Calista and myself with our matching T-shirts.

Best manager that I've ever known. :)

Adam and myself. He's the king of the floor staff.

As usual, Xander can never hold a proper pose. I'd never know why. Here's Cheryl, Kay and myself.

Finally got Ballie and Darren to give their handsomest smiles!

The lovely Kelly. :)

2A

2007-03-06T23:36:00.000+08:00

The One With 2A or Whatttt?

3 days straight of off days and I'm lovin' it! But not as much as Mac'donald's though. Haha. Tell you a secret, I've passed my class 2A! Gonna get that gorgeous bike you see up there in April! Happy, happy happy!

Was in class today and my lecturer was talking about commercials, mtvs and all that. He mentioned 50 cent and a late 20s or early 30s student put up her hand and asked who that was. The whole class roared in laughter. She was damn cute in innocently not knowing who that was. She blushed man, I tell you! Haha.. I think she must've kicked herself on her way home for not listening more to modern r&b. Anyway, while during the lesson, she excused herself and went to the ladies and my lecturer immediately asked her, "why, are you gonna look for 50 cent now?"
Hahaha, the wickedness of him.

I'm totally enjoying myself in CDM but sometimes, the hours get really long and it sucks when there aren't many customers and I'd spend time swatting flies or just stand there and daze.

Going to bed now.. Goodnight world. :)

I met you in a pool full of water and as I mustered the courage to speak to you, that conversation opened to a beautiful beginning. :)

Pass and Pass

2007-02-08T02:08:00.000+08:00

The One Where Days Just Pass And Pass

So as the heading goes, my days pass by just like that, without much of an aim. Probably just to head home, crash on the bed and be awake just to know that you've a long long day ahead doing what most people would term as social suicide, working. Well, probably, not all, just some.

I've not touched the fridge and the television for so long. I miss drinking or eating something out of the fridge, except for tonight when I thought I'd just indulge in a little cocktail, absolut kurant with sprite and the former with 7-up. I miss drinking and clubbing because I've not done so for so long. Though I'm a bartender, but I dont get to drink when I work (yes, really). I've not touched my remote control for so long and see moving pictures on the screen. How sad is that and if you are nodding your head to this because you experience it yourself, please drop me a text and say "adrian, let's be friends" if we arent already.

Mum and Dad are having a tiff again and it's all about my two grannies. Don't you just hate it when your own parents keep arguing about the same stuff over and over again? Don't you just wish that even after helping out to solve their problems, they would just grow up and stop talking about the same matter even when its 48539847 days since the last time that they've talked and argued about it? Ok, that's just a random day entry. I miss spending time with them because when they are awake and working, I'm sleeping and when they are home, I'm out working and when I'm home, they are sleeping. As much as I miss them, I hope they'd stop arguing, just for the sake of every damn living thing in this world. Really, enough is enough. I miss my sister and my brother in law too. Its been 3 weeks since I've seen them. It feels that I'm overseas on a working stint and seeing them is just a dream that'll never come true. Jie, let's work something out and meet up on a weekday k?

Went for supper with DongZheng on one of our working nights and along the road, I saw a cat and she (presuming) was injured.. I pulled up by the side and wanted to carry her to the side, but I saw that some of her main intestines (yes, really) were out. She must have been hit very badly and her stomach tore up or something. She's not dead (leaving me very surprised not because I want her to, but if any living thing has his/her/it intestines out, wouldn't he/her/it be dead?) but very much in pain I'm sure. As I approached the poor darling, she hissed at me so loudly and was at such a defensive mode. I shook my head and thought to myself, I am trying to save you, not hurt you. There's nothing I could do but walk away to my bike and carried on my journey with Dongzheng and the cat in my mind. It reminded me of a few months back where a cat I wanted to rescue on the road was knocked again by a car right in front of me about 25 metres away and the cursed driver went on, not stopping to even care. Seriously, I know animals aren't as intelligent as humans and can't provide us any use unless if its your own pet whom you love, but can't you just like stop and at least call the police or something to clear the road? The cat will be run over many times and be minced cat and cause gore and disruption to the road. Responsibility and a little bit of kindness and remorse is all I ask.

Valentine's day is coming and like many others, I'd love to spend it with someone special. But nope, Valentine's day will be quiet for me this year like the past years except on two occasions. Some questions for you to ponder as I asked Emily (perfect 10 dj, my ex (dream on adrian!) classmate, and super hot hot gorgeous one) while we were chatting on msn earlier on.

1. What constitutes a date?
2. If its a date, do you go on it with your bf/gf or do you go on it with a friend whom you are interested in or just with a friend as an outing?

I never know what really is a date or what is its real meaning for that matter. I'd be in Cafe Del Mar working that night and if you're looking for a place to spend with your special one, come to us, we've a great meal and romantic night awaiting you. www.cafedelmar.com.sg is all it takes to give you all you want to know about the most happening beach club in Singapore where the sun, sand and sea tempts you with a romantic feel to the mood of Valentine's with our very own djs spinning and grooving you to the mood of love.

I'd love to type more and just immerse myself in a space of talking to myself but the night's late and I've a long day tomorrow. See and catch you when I do. Goodnight world.

Failed

2007-02-02T11:56:00.000+08:00

The One Where I Failed

Yes damn it! I failed my Class 2A by only a very thin margin! Every course was done up pretty well, and it was only a small minor mistake that did me in. The price I've to pay for this is to wait till Feburary 27th and fork out another $60 for another lesson and test fee. So irritating right?

Went to Church of St Vincent de Paul last Sunday for the 11am mass and the choir was lovely! Comprises of kids and haha although some of them were off keyed, like me in so many practices, they sounded genuinely cute and it was this childlike innocence in their voices that made so many heads turn accompanied with smiles of delight. If it doesn't clash with my work on Sunday, I'd probably head down to SVDP again for the 11am mass. The music was really praise and worship style, which makes it even better. :)

While leaving church, this gentleman about 40+ approached me and asked me about my bike and mentioned that he wanted to get something like this. Boy oh boy, did my eyes lit up and glitter even brighter than the diamond on your mother's finger. I told him that I was gonna take my TP test a few days later (which I failed!) and if it all goes well, I'd be able to sell it to him. Alas, the deal cannot be done just as yet for I'd still need my transport for this month. Therefore we can only talk about this only when I've passed.

It's time for work..

Busy

2007-01-24T23:21:00.000+08:00

The One Where Busy Is The Word

So we were involved in Cafe Del Mar's opening and in the words of those who've completed NS, "This is surely much more siong than being in army." I echo that a hundred percent. I started work there last Thursday and when I first got there, everything was in a mess. That is for sure because the following day was the opening and nothing much has been set up yet. Worked with a group of bartenders and about 95% of them were full timers. It was just John and myself who were part-timers. Out of the 95%, almost half were from Attica and its always good to be working with people that you're familar with. Of course, there's always the element of someone watching your back and letting you be at ease with the course of work. You see, because we've worked in Attica for such a long time together, there were certain protocols that we follow and I must say in the beginning it was indeed pretty difficult to follow some new things being done but while working with familar faces, we brought some of our style of working into Cafe Del Mar and it was pretty much a mix and match kinda thing with the other bartenders from MOS and Balcony. We blended well with good team spirit and I honestly hope it'd stay this way for a long time to come.

So we were busy for the next 3 days, up till Sunday night/Monday morning 2am. CDM's opened 24hrs a day for the weekends and we'll work for quite a number of hours, slightly different from other clubs. By the end of the week, I was totally drained and yeah well, sick. Most of us got sick together cause we worked in the rain with not much of rest. But I'm not saying the company was mean to us. They took care of us and the managers and supervisors were friendly and jovial, always making sure that our needs were met. Time wasn't on our side though cause even while the opening time was 6.30pm, the foreign workers were still rushing to fix up certain parts of the beach club/bar and come about 7.30pm, the bartenders were busy up to our necks with drinks and more drinks. We seriously worked non-stop for the next 10 hours with drink orders coming in from all directions. I thank my lucky stars I was trained in Attica, if not, I would have just dropped to my knees and beg the hell to get outta there.

I'm working almost everyday now and also attended my first lesson for my module on Tuesday evening, which will be a prominent fixture on all Tuesdays evenings. Next Tuesday morning will be my class 2A practical test and I need at least one revision practice. I do hope I can find the time..

You know, there are a few things that I want to do. I want to go to church to attend meetings with the rest because they are in the midst of building a new youth group and coming up with ideas. All the time when they've meetings, I'd be at work and sometimes, it really stinks cause Im not part of it again. Just like when VC was getting up and running. I feel irresponsible especially when I gave my word to some of the close ones that I'll be around to help out and now, because of work, it seems like I've gone back on my word. I want to be there, so much..

I want to spend time with my family. My dad's pissed that I'm working long hours and not spending enough time at home, having dinner together with them. He's like, "Why the hell do you need two jobs? It's not as though we are poor and have problems with 3 meals. PLUS, you are riding on the road and if you don't have enough rest, you'd be at a higher tendency to make mistakes" Well yeah, that's true but you know, it's always good to have more of the moolah right now and save up for rainy days. What if I fall really ill one day? At least there's something to fall back on. Or what if I were to die on the road suddenly (which is pretty easy)? At least, there's some cash for my parents. I don't know, I just feel something bad might happen and my parents might need the money. Oh well. At the same time that I do wanna be home, I'm enjoying myself in Cafe Del Mar, the people are friendly, and the atmosphere's slightly more healthy than being totally in a nightlife working environment. At least, there are daylight hours too.

I want to hang out with my friends, catch movies, have coffee, shop, walk around aimlessly in and around Singapore, ride to Malaysia/Thailand with my biker friends this coming June. And you know what? They are planning on a trip to Cambodia! Oh man, I think I'd have to skip that, because of work. And also partly because of safety lah. I think my parents won't really allow me to do that cause it's like so far away. Probably to Thailand only I guess.

I want to wash my bike. It's been two months since I've washed it and it looks seriously filthy, oh gosh..

One hundred.

2007-01-16T01:38:00.000+08:00

The One With One Hundredth

Seems like the weather's getting back to normal and the Sun's out a little longer these two days. Great for you beach goers or sun tanners or anyone for that matter who loves the Sun.
So, someway, somehow I managed to remember my user ID and I "got" back my old account! Which means, I'm not using http://www.lyekuan.blogspot.com/ though it really sounds cooler eh? ha ha.. Oh well, cool or not cool, it doesn't matter much as long as I've some place to practice my typing skills and also for sessions where I talk to myself. Its therapeutic, most definitely..

I went for the Cafe Del Mar briefing on Friday afternoon, just after work and boy, was I wet from head hair tips to toenails man.. It was seriously pouring like no body's business and no matter how I wore my supposedly trusty raincoat, it just refuses to keep me dry. So much for being "waterproof" eh? I was already wet on my way to work in the morning with super cold wind blowing and I was wet once again after work, towards a bike shop to meet Jason and Sham and wet yet again towards town for the meeting in Regency house. One of the good things for that day was, I found out that Regency house has free parking for bikes. Heehee. Cheap thrills for bikers I tell you, or rather just me if the rest of them don't agree.

For some of you who might already know, I've a pair of Levi's which are already torn at the knee area and for all who've seen it, they felt that it was extremely nice because they look rugged and they said it fitted my status as a biker. I'm like "Nooo way.. I dont like to look poor." They begged to differ. I think I can almost say they are pretty good, fashion wise and I'm probably just an old fashioned type of person. Speaking of fashion, I dyed my hair for the first time about one and a half weeks ago *beams!* (now how nerdy was that?). Never really liked the idea of dying my hair, but seeing the grey strands grow, I dont have much of a choice, do I? Anyway, it is a pair of 512 jeans bought as a present from my sister years ago. So I thought I'd just stroll along orchard, find a Levi's Outlet and get another pair of jeans and sigh, to my horror, I found myself buying more things that I should have. Total bill for that evening? $612.

Price of spending so much? Priceless.
There's some things money can't buy. For everything else, there's something called, SPEND LESS!
Yes, I want to cry.

While trying on some of the apparels that I know will burn a deep dark hole in my pocket, I remembered that I've to meet up the guys in church for a meeting, regarding on some youth matters and I hurriedly fumbled with the buttons and decided not to think so much about whether I should buy it or not. Because if I do, I'll take a long time to decide because I'm not a normal guy when I shop, I'm not like "I've decided to get this, so I will just go in, grab it, pay for it and walk out." I'm more like, "Hmm I like this, let's try on the size. Now, how about the color? This color's not bad too. Now which is better?" Honestly! Shouldn't shopping be like this at all? You're paying good money for what you're buying. Shouldn't you at least try it out and confirm if this is what you really want? And you're paying for GST mind you, which is 7% this year. Make good use of the money and make the service worth while! Haha! And so I stepped out of Heeren and to my dismay, it was pouring and whatever I was wearing were the last set of clean clothes I have for the day. If I were to ride to church, I'd be wet, without nothing dry to fall back on. Called Ewen and Bryan, told them I might not be able to make it because of my horrible dilemma. Instead, I met my secondary friends whom I've rejected earlier on, citing the meeting as my reason. We went to a place near Geylang to have a round or two of pool and I must say, that place brought back a slight hint of memory as that was the exact place we visited 6 years ago, when we were all 17 and pool was the fever for the young ones.

Here's a short story, while I parked my bike at the basement car park, from the corner of my eye, I noticed that one of the bikers had left his key in the ignition! Immediately, I was like thinking, "whoa.. how careless.. Tsk, tsk.. Hmm, eh? That jacket very nice hor..*thinks about my lousy own, which is NOT rainproof.* how nice if it was mine..." Ah come on, everyone will have their moment of weakness. Haven't you had the idea to steal before? Especially when someone has something that you don't have and no one's watching? Ok, not to be carried away, Adrian's not a thief. In fact, he did a good deed! Haha. I took his keys and wrote him a note, telling him that I've his keys and he has to contact me at my mobile if he needs it back. The owner called me about an hour later, stating that it was his keys and I asked for his insurance form and IC for proof that he owns the bike. Showed it to me, I doubled check the registration plate with the insurance and his IC and returned him back the keys. There really is a thin line between committing a crime or doing a good deed. Isn't it? Just a split moment of decision.

We went to have a short supper and headed home after that. I slept till lunch and after that, I slept till dinner. Got a message from Peiheng and he informed me that we were going to prawning that night in a pond place in Taman Jurong. Honestly, that was my virgin trip there for I've only heard of fishing, but not prawning.

What's up for me on Sunday? It was stay home Sunday night movie! Caught the awesome movie, The Day After Tomorrow with my family and it was such a fantastic movie.. The plot was good and most importantly of all, the visual effects had extremely blown me away as it did on the big screens a couple of years back. Emmy Rossum, the lead actress of the movie was also the other factor that blew me away. She had such strong screen presence and her eyes had somewhat a beautiful and gorgeous enticing feel to it.

I watched A Lot Like Love on Dvd just about 2 hours ago and I love the story so much. 2 people, met on a random day on a flight to another state, spent a day there, met up occasionally during the next 6 years sharing stories of their own failed love lives and come back only to know how much they love and care about each other. She was willing to give up her fiance for him and he, well didn't really have a career at the end but felt that during his down time, she was the one for him. Oh, you've got to watch it (again) to know that my words don't do justice to the whole movie. It gets you laughing and sometimes think about some of the crazy things you and current beau or ex do together and you'd feel how wonderful and sometimes silly is love all about. Certainly, it really is a lot like love and nothing else. :)

Hundredth post! Maybe one of the longer ones.. Goodnight world.

Prof

2007-01-12T00:16:00.000+08:00

The One With The Dismiss Of A Prof

Was reading the papers today and it was reported that a well loved Professor from NUS died while he was speaking to one of his students. As reported by his family and friends, he was not known to have any heart problems or major illnesses. There was a statement from his sister that made me do a little thinking. It goes somewhere along the line of saying that she wouldn't want to pick up a phone call informing her that her sibling was gone. Truly, it is a very hard fact to face when we come to news that we've lost someone we love. I was going through some photos that I've taken last year with a couple of friends and some with my sister. With my God-son Colin, my churchies, my mdis mates, particularly with the groupies Javier, Darren, Dorothy, Lynda, not forgetting Diana, Yati, Dennis, Nathan, Linxi, Leon, Jolene, Athena, Cindy.. It's been a pretty long time since we caught up guys. Let's plan and do something soon. :)

1st Entry

2007-01-11T02:43:00.000+08:00

The One With The 1st Entry

Blogger asked us to change to this new user google account thing and I did as I was told. In the end, I was able to log into my old account but I'm unable to see my old dashboard, meaning, I wasn't able to see things like "new posts" but just, "create a blog". Sigh, I was so seriously fed-up when I tried means and ways to rectify the problem. I even had to email them, (twice!) to ask what was going on wrong. But, to no avail, they've not given me a reply as of yet. So I guess I'd be using this blogger website until I can regain entry to my old account. :(

I'm using Lyekuan now which is the variant to Laiguang. But Laiguang sounds cooler hor? haha..
2007 is here and it has been 11 days! I think the rest of all the other bloggers of Singapore have already went on to say what they'd like to achieve this year and what their resolutions would be. Like many others, I never like to make resolutions, because primarily, I'm too lazy to keep them and secondarily, I'm afraid if I don't keep them, I'd be disappointing myself.This year didn't really start of very well for me. For starters, Christmas was spent working and days after that towards New Year's eve, it was spent working back to back as well. Holding two jobs wasn't easy but the moolah's good. You know, many always say that if you give something up, you'd gain something else. I gave up time which is meant to be spent with love ones for money and I ended up a very lonely person. My life hasn't really been interesting.. No wait, truthfully, it hasn't been interesting at all. A close friend of mine, whom I went swimming with last Saturday, jokingly told me that our group has no place for people who constantly works, and those who do will be ostracised. Of course, I know he is joking with me.

Oh, I'm sure the feeling of being ostracised comes to mind for many of you who reads this (or is it only me? haha..). Different groups of friends would ask me out, inviting me to join in their makan sessions, movie sessions or even clubbing sessions. But I would have to turn it down because of work. Actually, I can turn down work just to be with my friends, but I honestly don't know why I've been having this incessant thirst to work and work. There are days when I would work an afternoon shift in the pool, end at 9pm and carried on to work in Attica till next morning at 5am. I would be home at around 5 plus and I've to be preparing for my morning shift at the pool by 6.30am, which is the time I've to leave my home. As the song goes, "where is the love?", my body goes, "where is my sleep?"Tsk, tsk.. Adrian, Adrian.. You have to start knowing how to make a balance in life..

Moving on to slightly happier things. This coming 30th would be my Traffic Police test for my class 2A's license! I'm so psyched up over it! If I pass, I'd be getting the bike you see on this page. It's a pretty old bike, registered 11 years ago and it'd be priced at S$5.4k. Quite a few accessories would be added along with it, including 3 Hepco & Becker boxes (big brand for bike boxes which will cost S$1.5k in total). So if you minus off the boxes, the bike's really priced at S$3.9k with a few other accessories and COE paid till 2013. Have always considered getting a Honda Super Four, but in the end, I feel that it's too commonly used in Singapore and I love to be different. Heh.Okayy! It's late now and I should sleep for I'd be working at the pool again tomorrow. And oh! Visit me in Cafe Del Mar, Siloso Beach Sentosa. I'm working there as a bartender, no longer in Attica. You'd love it I'm sure (if you're a beach bummer). :)

normal

2006-12-09T06:53:00.000+08:00

The One Where Life's Back To Normal

So I don't think I've blogged about my accident on August 3rd this year and because I almost got into another bloody accident yesterday while on my way to the hospital (how ironic) to visit my grandma, I must must must blog it down. I will talk about the one that happened in August. Was on my way back with my ex Charlotte, from viewing some cars with my family and I was traveling towards Outram Road's entrance into the CTE. I was minding my own business keeping to my own lane when the stupid driver(woman) hit me on my back! That moment was incredibly hard to forget and even more so after what happened last night. To cut the long story short, she's at fault and she has admitted to it. I mean, who the hell drives without planning his/her route? If you miss a bloody exit, take the next! How much petrol will that cost you? The worse thing out of the whole accident was Charlotte's toe. I think I will never ever feel better about it. Being remorseful is the only thing I'd feel for the rest of my life, simply because she was just accompanying me to be with my family.

I was on the CTE last night and needless to say, it was semi-jammed because every soul wants to be in town to probably see the Christmas lights. I was going against what John and the whole world would always tell me never to travel in between the cars on the dotted lines. But its like common sense for all riders to do so. Who would want to be stuck in the jam? No one I'm sure and since we have just the size of the right vehicle to fit through the slot, why not? Anyway, there was this rider in front of me going really slowly. Ok, I got a little impatient and over took him on the left (which, ladies and gentlemen is not correct). I did that only because there wasn't any cars on the 2nd lane of the expressway for that short stretch. A driver, without signaling, came in from the 3rd lane and I was as close as you are right now to your monitor screen to the car! I've never jammed my brakes this hard, swerved to the dotted lines and the whole of my back wheels were locked and oh my gosh, my whole bike lost control momentarily and I really almost skidded and fell. And this happened on the CTE! I was freaking in a shock because the whole incident kept running through my mind and what would have happened if I were to fall and the cars were to run over me. Well, you would have minced meat adrian. Thankfully that didn't happen because of my army boots which I will always wear when I work in Attica. You see, when I noticed that my bike was moving out of control and had that any moment to skid and crash kinda thing, I put both my foots out on the floor and did a flintstone (think: their means of transport). The strongness and mean material of the boots saved me because they were able to take the hard impact and sort of bounced me back into balance.. Thank God for saving me man. It's just another 6 days till my P plate is taken off and I can't imagine getting into another accident. I saw the driver of the car and do you want to guess the gender? Yeah, you are right, I don't have to tell you which was it.

Two weeks ago in the swimming complex, I was stationed at the slide tower and somewhere around eleven-ish, Raymond comms me from the walkie-talkie and alerted me that there was a stranger clad in a t-shirt and jeans walking aimlessly around the competition pool and he was heading my way. Well, I saw him and indeed, he looked suspicious. Two of the public walked towards me, wanting to enter into the jacuzzi pool and I told them if their belongings were not in the locker, they should put it in there. It was just a precautionary measure that I was heeding them about. In less than a minute, they decided to check on their belongings because of the suspicious guy walking about and true enough, his wallet was lost from the jeans pocket. Straight away, he saw the guy walking away in a fast pace and he alerted me. I stopped the guy and questioned him. At the same time, I comms to my supervisor and they came to join me in detaining the man. He was aggressive and forced his way out of my grasp. Somehow he managed to run and Eddie, Uncle Rashid and I gave chase. I so wanted to pin him down because he kept wanting to run away but we couldnt do that because we weren't the police. All we could do was to tell him in a authoritative manner that he has to stay in the complex and let us investigate the whole matter, while secretly getting another colleague to call the police. They came in, did the necessary paper work and apprehended the man. Apparently, he has another case pending and the policemen told us that he would be put away straight away by the next day. This was the first time I saw someone being handcuffed. When he was detained in our conference room, he took like 10 over water bottles and down them all at one go. We suspect that he was taking drugs and for fear that he might have to undergo a urine test in the station, he wanted to like clear his bladder.

Sorry Nathan, that we couldnt meet up with you guys and congratulations on the diploma. I won't be getting mine till maybe until the 1st quarter of next year cause I failed my TDMC. :(
Have to re-module the whole damn thing. Wish me luck okay? If you see rest, send them my regards. :)

I've been busy working everyday and initially when I've decided to take on two jobs, it's for only a specific reason. Somehow, the reason's not here anymore and I'm just doing this everyday to kill time, to fill up the empty void. Socially, this is suicide. But, at least I've something to do and work is accompanying me day to day to distract me from what I use to think was important. Christmas is coming and I long to spend it with a special person. This year since June, I thought I would have a special person to spend it with but instead, I'd be spending it with hundreds of swimmers and clubbers from the pool and Attica. I'm working on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day. Don't you pity me? Haha.

2006-11-27T23:28:00.000+08:00

The One With Cold Days

It has been the monsoon season for a few weeks now and I'm totally enjoying it because we get to close the pool for a short while when there's heavy rainfall and lightning. Holiday's in for the younger students and the pool's packed like a can of sardines every single day which makes it so unholiday for the lifeguards.

Moving on..
I left pandan valley last saturday with a very heavy heart. It felt different to be leaving early this time, because I don't know when there will be a next time that I'll see them again. To call them friends is inappropriate because they are more like family. I will surely miss them all. And I'm regretting not trying my best to know those that I don't even know. Maybe the friendship might be lost forever. Pretty thankful to Bryan for making the Cd. It was some awesome work done.

Nathan, I don't know what to update lah, my life is very boring. haha.

N70

2006-11-13T03:39:00.000+08:00

The One With The Revenge Of The New Gadgets

N70 and the bluetooth device BH-700 are seriously the sexiest beasts around, besides Gorilla that is. Heh

updates

2006-08-29T03:04:00.000+08:00

The One With Something After Absence

So here I am again, indulging in something that I use to love doing almost any other day but got really lazy after a while. I can only think of a few reasons why that happened.

1) I was lazy.
2) I was very lazy.
3) I was very very lazy

Plainly, I was just lazy and partly also because when I blog, I would love to put up pictures to beautify the entry for it was said, "a picture paints a thousand words" or that very very overused phrase, "I'm really tired today so I'll let the pictures do the talking". I mean like wah lao, that's like in almost any blog that you read! Getting back to what I was saying, posting pictures are a damn hassle to do. Can't be bothered to explain how I do it, but it involves large ass resizing and posting up on photobucket. You must be thinking (if you are a blogger), "I also can always post pictures and do it simply what, why can't you?" Erm because, that's you and I'm lazy remember? Heh.

Let's just start with home shall we? Oh yes, you do know that my sister's married now and she doesn't live here anymore and I've converted her cupboard to a place where I store my old clothes, so that they won't take up space in mine. Apparently, she wasn't quite happy with the idea, maybe because she still has feelings for her room. To be really honest, I didn't quite bother about how she really felt, primarily because there was SO much space in her cupboard and there was none in mine! I was like damn frustrated almost any other day when I look at my own cupboard and everything was in a mess. I couldn't find this shirt, nor that pair of socks. For those few days, BELIEVE me, world war III seem to have taken place. (ok la, not that serious).

Moving on, I've taken her job in helping my mother with the household chores (yes I was very selfish last time) and still not doing a good job now. I would slack a few days here and there and helping only when I'm bored. Yes, that's how evil her son is. Come on, it's boring, don't you agree?

I've friends who use to tell me that my blog's really hard to read, because it's in black and white and they are all in chunks of words (I can't help it that I'm lor so alright?) and that I write too much, reflecting in real life face to face conversations, I talk so much that it seems I'm nagging. I tell you, too many people have told me this and ok, I WILL change.

Things have changed pretty much in my life now, it wasn't as the same as before and I can't help but think I've embarked on a new phase and somehow this phase seems pretty nice to fit into.

For starters, I'm back to lifeguarding again! It's been pretty fun being back there, at least I enjoy my job, speaking and interacting with the public, blowing the whistle at non-corporative public, working with those whom I've worked before and gotten really close to over the years, Sham, Jason, Raymond and Minghan. And the understanding supervisors, Chua and Desmond. I love this job and I've to attribute it partly to my coach, Mr Aripe who coached me once again for the retaking of my certificate.

Handling two jobs now isn't that enjoyable, but since the money's coming in, heh why not man? Actually, I've left Attica for about 3 months before and since yet again, I've nothing to do on weekends, why not just go back and work and get that dough baking with the money making? I was attached for about 4 months but haha the happy times were only like 2 months. Who's to say who's right and wrong in a relationship especially when it always always takes two hands to clap? It's the past now and life seems to go back to normal, I guess.

I miss my friends in Mdis, I miss the things that we would always do from day to day. This is the only class that I have in my life that I won't be able to carry on for years. But oh well, I guess we've to move on with our lives and do what we have to do. I guess, DMCD 10535A was pretty much just a passing phase in our lives but I hope the friendship will remain and stand the test of time. :)

Vc ended its last ever session two Sundays ago and though I've not been back for a couple of months, I must say that my attachment to VC is still there, though not strong. I'm never one to really cry and show my emotions during sessions because I will feel paiseh and I have a very strong ego. But when we sang the last two songs, I just could not hold back my tears. Oh man, the lyrics were so bloody touching and it just reminds me how I started off in YA when I was late 15 and my church activities all began from there. I absolutely love attending praise and worship sessions where we can sing as loud as we can and its just a session to let go of worldly matters and just be with God. I won't say everyone is an angel in church, well not even the priest is one because no one is perfect, but I dare say that there are a handful of friends I've made in church who are so real, kind, caring and wonderful. So much so that everything you think of that you do with your family, you'll have done it with this bunch of people.

Have you wondered how hard it is to be a parent? You've to worry so much about the family's income and the children's bringing up. Why do we have so many materialistic, rude, selfish, uncaring people all around? Why do we have people who come to clubs and looking only for people to end up in bed with? Why do we have people who think that relationships aren't meant to be kept sacred? Why do we have children who would hurt themselves by doing things against their flesh and injuring themselves with penknifes and cutters? Why? I think anyone who would want to start a family should really consider about going for some parental course. We honestly wouldn't have so much of these people lying around in the world, causing hurt to innocent others by being their own fucked up self.

Have you ever tried so hard and only ended up being tired? Have you ever tried so hard and at the end of it all, it's just a zero answer? Just really, what is going on? Have you ever imagined yourself to have wings so that when you are so bloody caught up in a situation you can't get out off and you'd want to just lift those wings and fly far away for an hour or two to just recollect and be yourself? I've posted articles on reasons or questions why would people want to wear masks and hide away. Is it really so difficult to tell the truth and be truthful to others that care? Why must lies be generated and cause feelings of betrayal and anger?

This is pretty much a random entry, maybe the most out of all that I've written. Truth is, sometimes I'm just tired to write and grumble about my complains in life because sometimes I think it's so unfair that certain things can be this way and yet those who are guilty of causing them could just get away scot-free. Oh balls to all who screw things up.

December 15th is coming and I really can't wait to register for my class 2A and probably in class 3. Mummy got a car about a month back and I pretty much want to start driving her car. It'll be fun I'm sure and I'd start cursing and swearing (like all drivers) to the fellow bikers on the road. Haha, it's just a very common thing for drivers to dislike bikers and vice versa.

Let's load a few pictures up the next time round and what the hell is wrong with the tag board?

okok

2006-05-19T18:56:00.000+08:00

The One With Updates

I've been guilty, so guilty of spending so much money and I think I've spent almost all of my Progress Package. It's like whenever I've the extra cash, "oh, this is fine, I can spend on this. Oh that? that's fine too, no problem. A little won't hurt anyone." What I don't realise is, a little here and there kills me right up to my pockets. But it's been good working part time in Attica cause it reminds me back of those days when I was working as a lifeguard and I would be giving my parents their allowance, instead of them giving it to me. 2 whole years of being in the Army makes me a very poor boy and it amounts up to them giving me money back. It's good to be paying all my bills on my own and fully sustaining myself with this job, at least my parents don't have to part away with their hard earned money for me and still have additional cash from my sis and I. I've so many friends who are on their two feet and not taking a single cent from their parents and paying every single thing on their own, like the handphone bills, petrol, parking coupons, personal expenditure, and of course the ever killing leisure I love to go for, foot reflexology, back massages and the recent new hobby, wakeboarding. Thank goodness I don't club anymore. These three are expensive shit man, but I like.. Haha. I'm not much of a foodie for I eat anything that's normal and good, it doesn't have to be from expensive places but I'm a sucker when it comes to physical pleasure like the above that I've mentioned. Foot reflexology and back massages are so shiok I tell you. Since the 1st time I went with my ex, I've been hooked on it. How not to be? Just lie there and they will massage against your acu points and though sometimes it hurts, but it's damn relaxing after everything's done. If you've not tried it, please do yourself a favor, and spend that little money to indulge yourself. :)

Went for Clive and Charlene's wedding 3 Saturdays ago and it was nice to see two people you know get married. The whole day was pretty eventful as it started of in St Francis Xavier and this church has such a beautiful altar. I was quite mesmerised by the waterfall that displayed tranquility throughout the church. Most of our rider friends could not make it for the Mass because they had work and only could join us for the wedding dinner that night. Could have had more bikes present actually.

Anyway, it was my 1st time voting during polling day, wasn't much of a big hoo-haa for me cause I'm never into politics, but after catching up a bit of it from the newspapers, it kind of is interesting when you get to see how common people are fighting for the best of their own people. So much of news coverage is on it and I really wonder how do the reporters get all their energy. I'm now into my 2nd term of my Mass com diploma and we're like doing Journalism, Television and Radio Productions, among 4 new subjects we'd be having. These are the two that I find pretty difficult to embark upon as a career path. I'm never good in writing professionally and in standard English, unlike a reporter who has to be very concerned about his/her written text. I'm very much in PR though, wonder if I can do anything from there. Anyway, the Singapore Street Festival (SSF) will be coming up soon, on the 2nd June and it'd take place in town at mainly Cineleisure, The Youth Park and Plaza Singapura all the way till the 18th June. SSF is very much a celebration of street culture where it allows individuals, mainly youths, to showcase their multi talents to Singapore and also at the same time be given a chance to compete in it competitively.

Work has been a little on the downside. Many feel it's fun being a bartender or even cool, but well, there are the cons of it if you are a slow worker like me. It gets a little depressing when you're told off by your colleagues on the mistakes that you've made. To top it off, it's even worst when you're being told off on the mistakes that you make over and over again. I think it's hard for me to concentrate well late into the wee hours of the morning on such a fast moving pace job. Maybe it's because I'm not use to working and suddenly being plunged into a busy arena of war may not be that instant cup of tea for me. I do hope I can cope with it and integrate myself into the bartendering fraternity and be less of a burden to my colleagues whom majority are already friends with before I joined Attica.

Tuesdays seem to be fun days for me, for recreation and leisure and indeed, since the new term had started 3 weeks ago, all of the Tuesdays were off days for us and for the 1st one, my classmates organised a trip to the beautiful Eastcoast where we had a biking and blading trip. I've not been there in a long while and it has changed quite a lot. Needless to say, I rented a bicycle and even though I ride a motorbike, it is pretty ironic to say that I couldn't really keep my balance on a bicycle. I think it's because I've not been cycling for quite a long time. Had plenty pit stops along the way and it was due to the fact that we had to wait for each other and take short rests cause all of us had not exercised in a long while.

The following tuesday was spent with Lilian and her polish friend, Annemarie in Punggol Marina where I had my first wakeboarding experience. It was quite disappointing at 1st, cause I wasn't able to stand and ride the waves, until the kind and patient boatman repeated the various steps to me and with Lilian's constant encouragement, I was able to wakeboard! The feeling was like flying across the sea and gliding on the water and at the end of the session, my forearms were really tired and had sore muscles. When I rode home, I couldn't really clutch in very well while negotiating the different gears. Had a worse time the following day when I had to ride to school and back and to work.

We celebrated Javier's birthday in Seoul Garden on a thursday last week and wow, for just like $13, we had a ball of a time eating to our heart's content. We had quite a rush start cause sadly, Dorothy and Lynda had to leave early to start work, so all of us got the plate and took alot of food. I had a whole plate of seafood and delicious meat because I was hungry and a Singaporean. Haha. I'm not much of a fan of Seoul Garden, not because they don't serve good food, but because I'm a lousy cook and I've always ended up having bad stomachaches. Thankfully, my dear Nathan was at the same table as I was and he kindly cooked alot of food for me and the rest.

2006-05-14T08:18:00.000+08:00

The One With Mother's Day

The morning shines with the beautiful sunlight, with all the birds singing their sweet little song and I'm sure they are dedicating it to our Mothers for it's Mother's day! Haha, alright, alright.. I know that's pretty lame, but I can't think of anything to begin this entry. Well, I'm sure most of us have received this email about a dead boy in heaven, writing a letter to his mother, assuring her of his present state. Of course, how many of us would believe that a living person would actually receive a letter from the dead? But, this is one of the best emails that I've received so far, though you may beg to differ. Thank you, Ariel. :) And it's even more special when the whole email is being written to show both a mother's and son's love for each other. We are all aware of this phrase since childhood, "Shi Shang Zhi You Mama Hao". For the benefit of non hanyupinyin (english letters depicting how mandarin words are being read) readers, that mandarin phrase means, in the world, only our mothers are the best. Don't you agree? Yes, not being baised, of course our dearest Dads are also the best people in the world. Nothing can ever transcend the love of our parents and siblings the love the have for us. Well, back to the email.

--- Sally jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating room. She said: "How is my little boy? Is he going to be all right? When can I see him?"The surgeon said, "I'm sorry. We did all we could, but your boy didn't make it."Sally said, "Why do little children get cancer? Doesn't God care any more? Where were you, God, when my son needed you?"The surgeon asked, "Would you like some time alone with your son? One of the nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he's transported to the university."

Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said good-bye to son. She ran her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair."Would you like a lock of his hair?" the nurse asked.Sally nodded yes. The nurse cut a lock of the boy's hair, put it in a plastic bag and handed it to Sally. The mother said, "It was Jimmy's idea to donate his body to the university for study. He said it might help somebody else. "I said no at first, but Jimmy said, 'Mom, I won't be using it after I die. Maybe it will help some other little boy spend one more day with his Mom." She went on, "My Jimmy had a heart of gold. Always thinking of someone else. Always wanting to help others if he could."

Sally walked out of Children's mercy Hospital for the last time, after spending most of the last six months there. She put the bag with Jimmy's belongings on the seat beside her in the car. The drive home was difficult. It was even harder to enter the empty house. She carried Jimmy's belongings, and the plastic bag with the lock of his hair to her son's room. She started placing the model cars and other personal things back in his room exactly where he had always kept them. She laid down across his bed and, hugging his pillow, cried herself to sleep.It was around midnight when Sally awoke. Laying beside her o n the bed was a folded letter.

The letter said:"Dear Mom, I know you're going to miss me; but don't think that I will ever forget you, or stop loving you, just 'cause I'm not around to say I LOVE YOU. I will always love you, Mom, even more with each day. Someday we will see each other again. Until then, if you want to adopt a little boy so you won't be so lonely, that's okay with me. He can have my room and old stuff to play with. But, if you decide to get a girl instead, she probably wouldn't like the same things us boys do. You'll have to buy her dolls and stuff girls like, you know. Don't be sad thinking about me. This really is a neat place. Grandma and Grandpa met me as soon as I got here and showed me around some, but it will take a long time to see everything. The angels are so cool. I love to watch them fly. And, you know what? Jesus doesn't look like any of his pictures. Yet, when I saw Him, I knew it was Him. Jesus himself took me to see GOD! And guess what! , Mom? I got to sit on God's knee and talk to Him, like I was somebody important. That's when I told Him that I wanted to write you a letter, to tell you good-bye and everything. But I already knew that wasn't allowed. Well, you know what Mom? God handed me some paper and His own personal pen to write you this letter. I think Gabriel is the name of the angel who is going to drop this letter off to you. God said for me to give you the answer to one of the questions you asked Him 'Where was He when I needed him?' "God said He was in the same place with me, as when His son Jesus was on the cross. He was right there, as He always is with all His children.Oh, by the way, Mom, no one else can see what I've written except you. To everyone else this is just a blank piece of paper. Isn't that cool? I have to give God His pen back now. He needs it to write some more names in the Book of Life. Tonight I get to sit at the table with Jesus for supper. I'm, sure the food will be great.Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I don't hurt anymore. T he cancer is all gone. I'm glad because I couldn't stand that pain anymore and God couldn't stand to see me hurt so much, either. That's when He sent The Angel of Mercy to come get me. The Angel said I was a Special Delivery! How about that?Signed with Love from: God, Jesus &Me."

Well, it's for you to decide if this is a lovely email or not. Personally, I love it very much. Happy Mother's Day to all! :)

sister

2006-05-03T16:01:00.000+08:00

The One With My Dearest Sister

It is exactly one more month to my sister's wedding and how excited am I for her because she's gonna marry the best guy that I ever know. Yes really, he's the best guy for there's no one else that can ever match his good nature, politeness and love for my sister and us. Always cool headed, he provides us with answers to situations we can never get out of. The best of him that I love is his temper, he never or seldom gets angry and always lends us a listening ear whenever we need help. His thriftiness is really something that I have to follow, for even as a highly paid Engineer, he cycles to work! Oh my gosh haha, for me, I'd surely take a cab everyday if I have that kind of money to spend. Gabriel was a free thinker and being a Catholic has never entered his mind until he met us. Once, when he was a little boy, there was this lady who asked him to donate and he hadn't much money for himself then. She proclaimed that she was a Christian and when he couldnt donate, guess what she said?! "You will be punished by God because you are so selfish!" He was freaked out man! I mean like come on, God has never ever said that if we can't donate, he'd punish us. It's people like her that have given good Christians and Catholics a bad name. So anyway, he got baptised after learning about our faith and he has always been very Holy then. I even joked with him that he should have been a priest haha.. Thank you Gabriel for being such a wonderful guy to us and most importantly to my sister and indeed, you are the best guy that can ever be for her. :)

He started as a tuition teacher when I was in Secondary 2, and that was 8 years ago! I was never a good student and I've always gave him problems with my tuition homework but thankfully, he was able to take my nonsense. Anyway, it was through God's blessing that they were able to be together so strongly for these 8 years. Imagine, just how many couples you know out there have been together for so long before agreeing to tie the knot?

Jie, I've always loved you so much and yes indeed, I thank God for letting us be siblings and yet again, you are the best sister anyone could ever have. Thank you so much for all these years that you've been taking care of me, giving in to my willfulness and letting me have the best of everything. Although we are 5 years apart, you've never let that age thing come between us. You've always shared your wisdom with me and most importantly, never bullied me like most other elder siblings would. I will miss those times that we would chat late into the night, sharing our life stories and helping each other clear up doubts with other friends or even our parents. Thank you for teaching me the values of life and how to be a good Catholic, and though you always know Ive strayed away from God so many times, you've always did your best to pull me back. Thank you for always bringing me with you to attend the Novena where you would always put our Blessed Mother as the focus of your life and taught me to do the same. When I'm never good in my studies, you are always there to re-affirm me, urge and encourage me to work harder. There were times when I hurt you really bad with the things I did in my life and you wouldnt talk to me for weeks but forgave me in the end. I still remember once, when you challenged me to maintain a good eyesight, you told me you'd buy a packet of balloons for me if I were to reach 16 and still have a perfect eyesight. This silly game we'd like to play in our old house in Clementi, dancing from one end of the kitchen to the other with some silly old chinese song. When you leave this place, I will miss you so much because nights will never be the same again. I can never pop over to your room and ask you how's your day nor go over to borrow any stationaries. Although I would have a free room now, what's the point when my dearest sister is kilometres away. Haha, sometimes I think, can you still get married and be my live in sister? They always say, friends are who you choose but siblings are forever and I'm so thankful that I dont need to choose a sister but have you as my very own. You'd be leaving this house soon and things will never be the same again, but always remember, I will always love and miss you my dearest Jie!

sd

2006-04-26T15:57:00.000+08:00

The One With Catching Up

The weekend was pretty good, especially on Sunday where I get to meet my other family members. Well, they are the beloved church people. Haha. Praise and worship was once again awesome and one of the best parts was that we were back into the old St Cecilia's which isn't called that anymore. A new name that I don't remember. It was nice to see them again after a long while and it felt so much like the old times when we would have our YA! sessions there. This time, it's even better when we have the whole of VC packed into the room. Had a good lunch or rather late lunch, at Subway's in Holland and it was great to be catching up with Damien, Felicia, Fiona, Peter, Fred. I think I didn't leave anyone out. Teresa was suppose to meet up with us, but we had our own agendas, so we left 1st.

Went home for dinner with my family and we had steak! Quite a rare thing since we would always have the normal stuff from our coffeeshop. We took the extra mile to go Hougang Central, where the tables were all filled with Sunday families wanting to have their dinner there as well. Discussed my sister's marriage details over dinner and it ended off really well.

Met up with my ex colleagues and some of their other friends near NUS' shophouses selling pratas and nasi lemak. I felt so little among all of them as the youngest next to me is already like 28 this year. The next best part was that all 9 of us went to Keppel Marina area to check out a chill out place. It was fun riding with them on the road and it was as though all nine of us were kings of the lane we took and it felt good to be riding with 8 other big bikes.

Tuesday was my 1st paper and surprisingly, it wasn't as difficult as I have imagined it to be. Hopefully all the other papers would be like that as well. Jav, Darren, Dorothy, Lynda and I proceeded to have some good dinner at Cuppage plaza where I introduced them to this damn good mushroom minced pork noodles shop. Glad that they had enjoyed themselves. We slacked a little in town before we caught our movie, The Sentinel and soon after, we were so spontaneous that we decided to watch yet another movie, 16 Blocks. I love the ending because it was so sweet and heartwarming. Watch it if you have extra cash to spend, otherwise, it's not much of a movie to keep you on the edge of your seats. Spent the rest of the evening and night with them in Newton Hawker Centre, where we caught up with the past week that we spent on our own studying at home. All in all, it was a good few days, catching up with dear friends and knowing that life is good after all when you've good company.

Have a great week ahead filled with surprises and great friendship. :)

complains

2006-04-19T23:54:00.000+08:00

The One Where I Have Some Complains

Tonight's one of those nights, I sit in my chair with the solitude of the night accompanying my every thought that moves in my brain and every breath that that I inhale and exhale. Notes are everywhere on my table, but just somehow, it isn't organised the way it should be, nor are any of the readings getting registered in my brain. What exactly has been clouding my brain? Is it my sudden lack of faith in my religion, the upcoming exams that commence on Tuesday, the cocktail test that I've to take at work or is it just relationships with friends?

All of them, I can say are indeed pressing my brain so hard. What I need now, is just to bungee jump out of a bridge and cry, "I want to be free!" or jump out of an airplane and just totally immerse myself in the tranquility of the crisp clean air and perhaps with an earphone in my ear, replaying all the soothing music that I can find in this world. I'm not complaining that life isn't good. Just that you know, there will be times when you feel so stuffed that you just cannot seem to tell yourself to continue with the road that you see before your very eyes. The horizon, beautiful as it may be, seems further and further away.

Lent has always been a period of trying times for any Catholic and I've yet again allowed myself to be a victim to Lucifer. I ask for strength and pardon.

Honestly, I don't have a life right now for I've not watched movies in a long while except really recently, which is after all, my favorite past time. I've not walked in Orchard for a long time, sat in a cafes with close friends nor spend time at the Novena. I've lost contacts with friends I hold dearly and not catch up on my fitness regime. Life on a spiritual and mental state reflect very much on the Singapore weather we have right now. I wish for the wind to blow away these clouds in my mind and let me concentrate on what are the dearest things and people that I hold close.

On a lighter note, Miss sweet dimples Tay and I met up after such a long while and we caught two movies on Monday. Had a good lunch at Cafe Cartel and spend the short afternoon chatting about our lives. Was great to see you again Miss Tay!

A silly little game we played with the trolleys.

photos and updates.

2006-04-13T01:10:00.000+08:00

The One With Photos And Updates

I'm having so much fun in school with oh what can I say, wonderful classmates! Through the weeks and months, it has been wonderful getting to know everyone much more and learning so much from them, especially on the part of being hardworking when it comes to school work. Life's been really busy with so many project meetings and assignments to complete, but tough as it has been, we had a great time spending our nights at each other's houses, rushing out the work and going for late suppers. It's not what we do, but it's being in each other's company that matters. Haha, maybe I'm getting too high on this new friends thing, but yeah, I'm having loads of fun being with them. It's damn shiok to be slacking when we were suppose to be doing the work and getting all worried and gan cheong when the clock showed 3am and suddenly at that moment, all of us were like super drived to work till 8am in the morning and without sleep, we went to school. I loved the part when we would relax like nobody's business and then got seriously to work all the way without rest. Reminded me of how army is like, working as one. Of course, in the midst of all the work, tempers will flare from time to time, but it's good to know that everyone understands that we were all tired and it was inevitable to get easily angry.. Let's introduce you to the awesome group members I have shall we?

That's Dorothy beside me, Darren, Lynda and Javier..

We look cute together, don't we?

We were just imagining what it'd be like when we see bagfuls of money dropping from the sky. In this case, it's a ceiling from prata shop in Bukit Timah. Heh

We decided to be retarded and took some photos while Darren was driving us to our supper destination.

Presentation Day

Had such a great day on my birthday because these darlings were so sweet to surprise me with a cake, a barbie doll (yes! barbie doll!) as a decoy present and an absolutely beautiful adidas sweater!

Someone asked me to make my Barbie a rocker chick!

Xiaoqin, who shares the same birth date as I.

Javier wanted to see if the helmet fits my barbie.. Haha.

The sweater. Looks good right. Not the sweater lah, I meant me!

Two of my most favorite people, Nathan and Athena!

Went clubbing on two occasions. One was Diana's birthday, and the other was mine.
That's Diana in blue and Yati's on my left. So lucky to be flanked by babes eh? Haha.

My attica colleagues, Javier, Aaron in red, Steph his girlfriend and Anslem. And erm, Lynda from Starbucks. Heehee.

Had yet another birthday party, and this time, it was Dennis'. He booked a super large chalet in Changi for all of us, which had 7 rooms! Each had more than 4 beds. Imagine the crowd we had.
My bike was the model for everyone to take photos with. Everyone wanted a hot shot with the mean machine. Can't be posting all up, quite tedious to be putting up so many photos, so I'd just have a few of them.

I love you Nathan!!

Lynda! My Starbucks guru.

Dennis was suppose to smile for this picture, but I think to carry 3 men was too much for him! Haha..

Jolene fell while jumping on the bed (see lah, ask you don't drink so much already!)

Diana suggested that we made funny faces. I must say, we do have the talent for that. Maybe we should join a talent contest or something, since there's so much of it going on right now in Singapore. Ha!

Days at Sentosa will never be the same again with my fellow beachbummers and colleagues from Attica. Bartenders having a good'ol time.

That's all folks. :)

accident

2006-03-12T01:41:00.000+08:00

The One With The Accident

It was a nice peaceful ride down MacRitchie about 3 days back as I was on my way home from a friend's place. The time was about 2 plus in the morning and needless to say, which driver on the road wouldn't want to rush home to greet his/her bed after a nice cold shower? One driver however, was too eager to reach home. I was cruising behind a car and two taxis and in front of them was another car going really really fast. All four of us gave way to him and upon reaching the road divider just outside RJC, that driver went out of control at a sharp bend, crashed into the divider, overturned and dived straight into a construction pit where lots of sand, rocks and unwanted pieces of metal laid. The front of the car was smashed really bad and there were gases emerging out of the car. Sounds like a nice drama that we all can watch on TV isn't it? Well, it certainly wasn't and the horrible thing was that blood was all over the 2 victims when the 3 drivers and I tried to extricate them.

It was a traumatizing experience for me as I kept thinking about it on my way back home. The sight of their bloody faces made it worst. Can you imagine, if it was me on my bike, I think I would have met St. Peter for some drinks that very night. Word of caution to all drivers and riders, please never ever speed on grounds that you are unfamiliar with.

gathering s and meetups

2006-02-06T01:01:00.000+08:00

The One With Gatherings and Meetups.

It was a nice enjoyable ride to Jean's place today for a VC Lunar New Year gathering. Haven't seen most of them for two weeks and indeed, what a useful time it was for all of us to engage in merry making and indulge ourselves in the wonderful spread that Auntie and Uncle has prepared for us. Much as I wanted to stay, I couldn't as I had another appointment to keep in town with my secondary school friends. This particular outing was initially planned on Saturday, but because I was packed till late evening, kind Ian had to cancel the outing on my behalf and bring it to the next day. Sorry folks, if I've screwed up what you intended to do on this Sunday! Juliet and Fred brought their child along and she's simply adorable!

Tried to take a shot with the sweet darling but she preferred to look into the camera's way with her Godfather instead of with me. Well, what can I say? The strong bonds that they share. Heh.

Desmond (who would introduce me to any kinds of PC games and invite me to his place to engage in the ever popular "Spiderman". who would readily let us bully him as and when we want to for the sake of fun, who we would always "politely" asked to put back the plates for us back in school during meal times, who would really order "teh-o" or "kopi-o-siu-tai" at a coffee joint like Starbucks or Coffeebean when we told him to, because he really doesn't know that there's no such thing as coffeeshop orders at such places, in other words, clueless! Making us laugh so hard at his blur and his "try as I might to be Jay Chou look alike" face. All that, but we still love you Desmond!) , Ian (the one who would always compete with me to fail our Mandarin tests and exams and challenge me to every English assignment that came our way. the one who would talk, laugh and joke with me over anything and everything under the sun while we were "trying" to concentrate during Mandarin lessons. the one who agreed with me when I suggested we open a Fishball Noodle shop later in our lives if we do not have a proper job. the one who stuck with me when that particular storm was hard to face alone. the one who seems so very far away, but always really so close. thank you dude!) and i

Sheng Fu the muscle man

Juliet, with the 3 of us.

Weiqiang and Jiahui

Finally a nice smile from Jiahui

Lin and Ng Fishball Specialist

All of us on the way back home. Only Desmond would give the "good" sign and we all don't even know what he was trying to pose. All three photos we took dude, all three you did that. Haha.

Went home for a splendid dinner cooked by mum and met my ex-colleagues for our usual round of coffee. It started to rain terribly as we were there and the thought of cleaning my bike once again since I've just done that yesterday, frowns my face. Had a super chilling ride back home, drenched to my skin, but surprisingly, I enjoyed the ride. It was my first time riding in the night as it rained heavily. But, once is enough. The mental stress was excruciating. Please do not rain in the morning, I don't wish to squeeze in the train once more.

Here's a great week ahead for you. No more lazing! Cny is over!

upadates.

2006-02-03T01:44:00.000+08:00

The One With Updates

So about 2 whole weeks has passed and the Lunar New Year (LNY) fever has more or less subsided. For one, I'm not a LNY person. I don't shop for new clothes, I don't really clean up my room unless I really have to and I don't gamble at all. Maybe I'm afraid of losing money, maybe I just don't like it at all. My rational is that, if the money's hard earned by others and given to you for prosperity and good luck, why gamble it all away? If your "luck" (if there's really such a thing) is bad, where's all the red packet money going to? To others who will gain your prosperity and luck? Haha, maybe I'm a sore loser or a miser who doesn't like to see my money fly away for no good reason. Gambling is just as good as taking your money and throwing it away into the bin.

It was rather quiet this year. I didn't get to meet all my relatives cause there was a difference in time for visiting my granny's place. Lesser money collected this year, but it's indeed good for my parents, they are able to save up. See, miser me talking again. Prior to the LNY, my family and I went to Sheng Siong Supermarket (it was my 1st there) and I was quite pleased that the items that they sell were very very much cheaper than other supermarkets. Even the freshness of quality of the goods aren't compromised.

On the 23rd, we had a celebration for Athena's birthday and guess what? She knows Kumar, the comedian personally! The whole of Gold Dust, the pub was booked by Athena for her celebration and the jokes that Kumar shared was certainly humorous and cruelly poked at different contexts, all with the sake of fun.

Which is fine, really. If there are people who are offended by these, they certainly shouldn't even be there. I think we should learn to be like the Americans, who are able to laugh at themselves. Most Singaporeans are too uptight and they can't accept the flaws that are embedded within their personalities.

Jon and K are back from their Thailand trip and we met up the following day for some good old supper at Simpang Bedok. We had great fun chatting about the days in Army and our future plans. Jon's leaving on the 9th Feb for further studies in Australia. Bon Voyage buddy and be safe. I had a sudden craving for Sakae Sushi that night and I called Javier if he wanted to have that with me the following day. Being the spontaneous guy that he always is, he agreed and we had a ball of a time eating to our heart's content on the different sushis they have to offer. The best part is, we followed our Singaporean's instinct to eat all we can at the student buffet offered to us. Soft-shelled crab? I like!
One of a random photo we took while at Dbl O's with his colleagues from Attica.

The 26th of January was the final paper for my modules and our class celebrated at Dbl O that night. Everyone of them were great dancers. We had naughty dancers and dirty dancing ones. Won't go into details, but everyone had good clean fun that night. Photos of that event shall be up pretty soon.

It was Mark's 21st on the 1st day of the LNY. All of us were crammed in his room with the constant sound of his hamster running in the cage and we had so many silly moments playing with our cameras, blinding the daylights out of each other. Damien had to play as our spy, keeping a sharp lookout for Mark's return at his gate. Honestly, I'm quite bored of surprises. But I'm not saying that it's not fun and that I won't participate in future ones. But it's like, almost everybody in VC have their birthdays celebrated in this fashion. It doesn't become so much of a surprise anymore. Oh well, it's still nice I guess. Anyway, towards the end of the party, I had this guilty feeling of not helping my parents entertain our relatives at home so I had to leave early, while the rest proceeded to John's place for mahjong, which at 22 this year, I still do not know how to play. Any willing teachers? Even my dad offers to teach me. He's like, "If you don't learn how to play, won't you get paiseh in front of others when they ask you to join them?" Haha, I'd rather play monopoly the whole night instead since the money's bigger. Heh.
Anyway, how did "Bo Li Xie" from Sammi Cheng ended up in my itunes? Besides changing the song now, I'm gonna delete it from my system. Ok, moving on.

Jialing had us over at her place the following day and it was nice seeing the house filled with so many people. It felt really good seeing alot of people engaging in laughter and fun with the games that they played. I was quite bored because I wasn't playing Black Jack with the rest and I left together with Teresa and Ewen. I finally coaxed Ewen to take a ride with me on the safe seat of Ashley but sadly, a situation had disappointed him. Two situations actually, one was that the helmet was too small for him and two was the near accident that we almost got into, but I have to stress, re-stress and re-re-stress that it wasn't my fault. I felt bad that that was Ewen's maiden ride on a bike and this had to happen.

So we exited from the minor road to the major road towards Holland Village and I was at the extreme left lane, where bikers and slow moving vehicles should be. But that's besides the point. Now, if you driving or riding, usually as you are approaching a left turn, whether or not you are turning, or whether or not there are vehicles turning out to your lane, you should slow down, which I did. There was a driver who was slowing down upon seeing me, then suddenly, picked up speed and entered my lane! I was so close to her already and if I was stupid enough to accelerate through, I would surely have "larng gah-ed" into her! I swerved to the centre lane to avoid hitting her and at that moment, I was so pissed because she didn't check her blind spot. Yah, I didn't know it was a she until I saw her and it was an elderly lady. To be honest, I wanted to give her the finger because she almost caused Ewen and I an accident! It was like, I badly wanted Ewen to try riding on a bike because I wanted to let him know it wasn't at all that dangerous if the rider was careful, but alas, it was proven that such drivers like this lady could have caused small bikes like mine to be involved in a careless accident. She really deserved a loud horn. And yes, 2 long horns I did give her. At that moment, it was head over heart and I stared hard at her. But thank goodness I didn't give her the finger, if not that would have been very uncouth of me. Recounting this incident now really makes me wonder what would've happen if that accident really happened. Damn you all drivers and bikers who don't check your blind spot. It's people like you that freely adds on to all the accidents we have.

My family and I visited Auntie Lynns and her family the following day. She's my sister's Godmother and she's a lector in our church. I love going to her home because all her family members are so polite and always so cheerful. They made us feel important as guests and offers us the best that they could. The two families had a great time chatting and catching up on old times and months lost. Now that Mummy has been given a car by her boss to drive around, transport has been so much easier for the family. Gabriel suggested that we go for a car ride that involves places that we've not been before. Now, have you ever gone to Upper and Lower Pierce Reservoir? Please do if you haven't. It's a great ride through the trees of the narrow bending roads and along the way, you'd see monkeys running around.

The ride will take about 5 minutes or less and you'd see a gate on the left and it'd bring you further into the woods. Through there, you'd end up at a carpark. We took a walk through this lane which separates the Upper and Lower Reservoirs and well to me, the scenery was breathtaking. It was heartwarming to see a family playing with a frisbee and had their pet dog running along with them. Elsewhere, there were other families strolling along this path and taking photos. A great place to unwind and settle your thoughts, even as good as the seaside if you deem it a great place. Further more, it sets you far away from the city or rather, Bishan Town and it gives you this feeling of leaving your worries behind to the urban life. Some photos we took of pretty flowers and us.

Mummy dearest and us.

Jack Neo has never let us down with the string of movies he has directed. In "I Not Stupid Too", he has yet again proved his excellent directing efforts. The storyline was touching, moving and inculcated the points and values of the average Singaporean family. It touches on the struggles of a parent, the dedication of a teacher, sibling, student and of a child growing up in a situation where it's hard to communicate with his/her parent. Huang Yiliang has put up a commendable effort in his portrayal as a misunderstood father who knows he has the love within him for his son, but at the same time, does not know how to show it. There were many parts of the movie that we can all relate to. Some would feel that Jack's movies are cliche and they have the same way of preaching the right values into our young people. I feel that from time to time, lessons like these from Jack are always welcoming both for parents and children alike. It is important that such ties within the family are strongly bonded, so as to minimize future hurts and misunderstandings. I've always been an advocate of his productions and I will urge anyone to watch this film for it deserves to be one of his best so far. Ignore the cliche moments of the movie but look at all the hidden lessons we can learn and pick up. Thank you Huangrong for the movie and sorry about the barricade incident we had in the carpark of Junction 8, for it wasn't my fault! Haha, the guy said that the system was faulty..

Some photos from Joan's birthday the past month.

It's TGIF everyone! Lovely weekend to you.

movie

2006-01-20T04:44:00.000+08:00

The One With A Great Movie, Your Kindness and My Horn

Adam Shankman has brought us nothing but hilarious lighthearted comedy when he directed "Cheaper by the dozen 2" which is airing right now at cinemas near you. Many thanks to Huangrong for introducing this movie to me and what a stress free time we had in the cinema laughing away with the rest of the movie goers on the silly antics of Steve Martin "Tom Baker" and Eugene Levy. The former should have been more involved in comedies as I don't really remember him in other movies except "Cheaper by the dozen" and the current sequel. This talented actor has credits on him dated back in the 1970s, years before we even knew how to walk.

I particularly liked the part where he would be speaking with his on screen daughter, Alyson Stoner as "Sarah Baker" on her "dark gifts" and incited her to make full use of them when he wanted wicked humour revenge on Eugene Levy as "Jimmy Murtaugh". The way he wanted a conversation with her was indeed comical as they proceeded to engage it in an inconspicuous manner. Bonnie Hunt has reprised her role as a loving mother in the Baker's family. An individual who has been through countless works of film, directing and acting, she has indeed brought forth her role well. Watch this movie to be engulfed in her motherly love to her flock of 12 and be amazed how much our own mothers are very much like her.

Be awed by how the American culture embraces dating at a young age. In Singapore, most parents would feel weird if their child are going out for movies at tender ages with the opposite sex. Much less agree on having make up put on for their daughters. The best scene to look out for is the last part where the Baker children would turn up for an event to support their father. The key point is to look into "Tom Baker's" eyes as it depicts the ultimate joy of having the love of his children around him. Piper Perabo, who acted as "Nora Baker" bravely accepted the challenge that the family has to undertake as one and risked her life with her unborn child. Such acts are commendable as I feel her love for her father surpasses all boundaries that are put in this world. Look out for the drop of tear that "Tom" shed which I think has moved many of our audiences. It captures his joy of being a father and a grandfather so respected by his children. This movie surely deserves more than 5 stars for its excellent portrayal of having a close family tie. Not to be missed I guarantee.

Friday's here yet again and the week has been spent studying, or at least trying to study. The stress level only kicked in on Wednesday night when my paper was on the following day at 2pm. Staying up till 5am with cans of Redbull didn't help as I dozed off. Forcing myself to be awake, the only thing in my mind was never ever to re-module a certain module for fear of losing 300 bucks and most importantly of all, precious time. Even until 1pm on Thursday, I was still pretty much clueless on what I really had to study. The stroke of luck came in when I apprehensively flipped my exam questions and to my utmost stupefaction, the questions were all give aways. I can only hope that whatever I've written will be deemed acceptable by the lecturer marking it. A lesson that's learnt will be that not everyday is a Sunday for not everytime without proper studying, will the exam paper be a breeze.

Have you ever been in situations where you feel you are being taken advantage of your kindness? How's your reactions rendered to it and how much more of it can you take?

Have just recently used my horn for the 1st time, when a very weird driving habit of this certain driver tried to overtake me. I mean, it's fine for Phantoms (Ashley, if you would please call her. (courtesy of Cynthia Chia, Doctor to be mind us.) to be slow on the road and also, I would take good care of my precious darling for I wouldn't and never ever ever want to rev her engine too hard and cause her engine to vibrate beyond control. I think it's a new driver/rider's theory of taking special care of his/her respective automobile engines. Anyway, back to this weird driver. If you want to overtake someone on the road, much less talk about a simple walking on a pavement or wherever for goodness sake, you would surely increase your speed to make sure you've some distance away from the person/vehicle you want to overtake and then proceed to do your stuff. But "Noooooooooo.." <(think Russell Peters as he imitated the chinese shop keeper in disagreeing with the knock down price) rather random, but that part came into my mind and I can't help giggling at it as I type this down> this guy didn't keep a safe distance before coming into my lane, almost "lang-gah-ing" into me! I was like "Uncle, please don't like that leh.." Saw a good chance to use the horn and "BEEP!!" I went. Honestly it felt super shiok to use it if you are a 100% correct. The best part, he waved a "sorry". Which means he's in the wrong.. So, who says "P" plate holders are an ignorant batch on the road?

It's good morning to you and a lovely weekend. Hey, TGIF!

friends

2006-01-16T01:26:00.000+08:00

The One With Friends

Chanced upon this entry from Dawn's blog and I think it's a great piece of work. I'm too lazy to write much of my own feelings and ideas in this topic, and I share most of her sentiments. Enjoy her work. :)

"The first are those who you barely know.. they're there merely by circumstances, by chance, and should be labelled more as an 'aquaintance' than a 'friend'. They are people you see in school or at work, and require only a mere 'hi' or 'how are you doing?'. Spending more than half an hour (or for me, fifteen minutes) alone with them and I'd have run out of things to say, and things would start to get awkward.

The second -- friends of convenience. Or rather, you're friends because it is convenient. They are those who you meet in school / at work / whatever, and you hang out because circumstances permit you to do so. But when you do, it's because you enjoy the company of each other.. they may be there for you most of the time, but mainly because the group is fun to hang out with. These are friends which make everyday passable, which make life slightly more intersting and tolerable.

And then, what I call the real friends. They are those who make it a point to keep in touch with you, no matter which part of the world you are at. After not having seen each other for months, or years, nothing changes, and when you meet, it's as though no one has ever left. They're those who constantly dig you out of shit holes, who dare to tell you that you look ugly or that your hair is in a mess, or how you're just plain mean. They're the ones who know you inside out, your entire history, and your whole future. They're the ones who would be willing to sacrifice a perfect afternoon to help you make something for your boyfriend's parents. They're the ones you call when your earth has shattered, and the ones you want to share your joy with when you're on top of the world. They're the ones who are willing to buy you medicine, food, and sleep on the table when you're sick just so that you get sufficient rest. They're the ones who bring flowers, and the entire party to your house when you're sick on your birthday because they make it a point to celebrate every single one with you. They're the ones who have your back always, and are always there to protect you, even if i t means getting beaten up themselves. They're the ones who take a piece of you along with them everytime they leave the country, and return it back everytime they return."

Quite true ain't it?

entry

2006-01-14T04:02:00.000+08:00

The One Where It Was A Heartfelt Entry

Mr Sun was out today, finally. I took the opportunity to go for a swim in the morning and had a little suntan going on for me. It was Joan's birthday celebration today and it was as usual nice to see my ex-classmates again. All of them were mandarin speaking and whenever they turned to me for a conversation, they would automatically switch to English. The darlings. But what they did not know was, my mandarin has improved tremendously since I've went to the army. All thanks to those who helped to honed my proficiency in my language. Anyway, some of them did say that my mandarin has improved quite a lot, much to the big difference in the past where my mandarin would have countless pauses and wrong sentence constructions. It was wonderful to see Eddie again. Having not seen him for about a year, it was great catching up with this old friend and reminiscing about the times we had in our secondary school days. Even after everyone had left, we bought some drinks and had them by the roadside where we talked about our life at present, our future and even about girlfriend problems which I don't have any of course.

The road was in excellent condition today. It beats riding on wet conditions and adding to that, without wet weather, my bike won't often be in a dirty status where I have to constantly clean it and make sure that rust will not occur. I've been listening to David Tao and Alex To more often. I'm not sure why but I think it's probably because their tunes and the way they do their music are pretty smooth to listen to in the night. I particularly love this remix by David Tao, "Yue Liang Dai Biao Wo De Xin". This song was initially sung by Deng Lijun. Anyway, if you haven't heard it yet, you should. Really nice.

The week has passed by pretty fast and I've not done much revision for my exams next week. Javier and I have the same opinions that we are very much procrastinators when it comes to studying for exams. Even if we were to meet up to study, it won't be productive unless the exam date is one or two days away. I'm suppose to be going to Bangkok with Jon and K for a short holiday before Jon leaves for Australia to further his studies. The dates that they would be going will coincide with my exams. What a major bummer. I guess we can only meet up for supper or just have drinks from time to time before he leaves in February. Met up with Jon last night at this supper place near his home and as usual, it was also great meeting up with him because we've not seen each other for two months or so.

It's really nice that Colin has been attending Novena sessions with me every Saturday and what really is beautiful is that Jeannette, Acra, Jiamin and her youngest brother are attending faithfully as well. Truly, after these few months of attending Novena and simply putting all trust in our Blessed Mother, my life has been very much smooth sailing. I tend not to worry so much about the many issues I have in my life and through her guiding, I find myself slightly improving bit by bit against the bad sides of me. For this, I've my sister to thank greatly for bringing me back to Novena sessions with her. May I never lose track of my faith again, for once is enough to set my life derailed.

Wenzhang has offered to give me his side bags for he has only used it once. I hope it'd look normal and not too flashy cause if it is suitable for my bike, I won't have to spend another 50 plus bucks to purchase a set from bike shops.

"To our Blessed Mother, we hold you in high adoration and we thank you for this life that you've closely guided for us. Without you and your powerful intercessions to our Lord, our prayers might not have reached Him as we are poor sinners so unworthy. Help us to be humble in our ways as an individual and instill in us the virtues of a good Catholic. When we stray, grant that through your loving guidance, we may once again find the path back to you and our precious faith. Help us realize that the temptations and vices in this world are truly sinful but are easy to overcome as long as we trust in you. Intercede for us, that we may turn away and denounce these selfish acts against our faith and that we may strive to be a better Catholic day after day."

summer

2006-01-07T01:49:00.000+08:00

The One With The Bad Points Of A Bike

Honestly, I feel very mixed up about having a bike now. Ahh, don't roll your eyes at me now. It's just one of those days when you hope and wish a million times that you would get your hands on something you really wished you had since you were a young child, and when you finally get it, you'd be like "oh so this is what it's like" after a few days, weeks or months. Then get very bored of it. I've a few people who've commented on my shiny bike and some even felt that it's a brand new one, when it's actually a 2nd hand bike. Well, I've my mechanic to thank for shining it so well before I picked it up a few days back.

After riding on the road for a couple of times, with dirt, rain, sand and whatever else you can find on the road that will diminish the shininess of the bike, I had to polish it on my own, which is fine cause I enjoy spending time to touch up my bike. And there are some others who would comment that I will only be doing this for the 1st few months or even weeks and thereafter, I'd be pretty bored with maintaining it. Honestly, I hope the passion will not die on me. My colleagues at Jurong East are bike fanatics and even after riding for more than like 8 years, you can never catch their bikes in an un-shiny manner. So let's just hope I'd keep up the work on my new girlfriend haha. Any suggestions on a name I should give my lovely Phantom? Feel free.

Let's talk about the cons of having your own vehicle. You have to pay for it fully, that's number one and that's only the beginning. Of course, my darling mother paid the full sum first and I will be paying her back monthly without installments (haha), unlike if you pay to the shop, there'd be one you see. Next, is the extra charges of everything else. Coupons, petrol, season parking, road tax, accessories, cash card, etc. Let's come to the ultra ultimate sickening worst part. Riding on wet weather and especially when it's raining! These few days have been so disappointing. I've been looking forward to have a good ride on the road since I've passed, when we only had the circuit and the test route to play around with. Now, the whole of Singapore is my roaming ground. But it doesn't help when I keep getting wet by the rain and have to worry about skidding, especially when (commented by many experts) Phantom original tyres are quite lousy on the road. There's no proper grip.

I went for holy hour in Holycross on Friday and went to Holland Village to meet some VC friends. When I left the house, my dad reminded me to bring along a windbreaker in case the wind got too cold for me to handle, but I didn't want to because I've not installed any form of boxes nor leather bags by the side (which I think are pretty pretty cool by the way). So I didn't want to bring around any excess stuff while moving around with the group, I'd feel so odd. Because Wala's didn't allow some of them in due to the age factor, we moved on to Clarke Quay's Crazy Elephant Pub and just while leaving Holland Village, it rained! Instantly, my mood was dampen cause I knew I was going to be very very drenched by the rain. True enough, my nice white shirt that I wore was soaked to my skin and it's very embarrassing, cause all my fats could be seen! Ok, that was a very himbo statement, but yeah the feeling there and then was damn sucky. Luckily, Cynthia was nice enough to direct Ben to her home where she'd bring an extra shirt and a windbreaker for me. The porch at her place was quite congested and I didn't want to block the other drivers, so I went to park somewhere along a steep slope, (like where are my brains?!). A few seconds later, I saw with my own eyes that my bike stand was giving way and my bike almost dropped! Can you imagine the machine sliding down the slope and scratching its parts like anything? At that moment, I really wished I had the ability to kick myself for not thinking.

I didn't enjoy myself at the pub because the music wasn't to my liking, my waist down to my toes were all wet and I couldn't have my beer. If only we could be at Wala's and I didn't ride down. Then probably, I may not feel so frustrated now. On the way back home, it was a disaster. I'm already like so tired and I have to keep very awake on the road. I want to reach home sooner than usual, but I can't speed nor be at constant 90km/h and I have to worry about skidding and falling off the bike, crashing into something or getting into an accident. It was so so slippery and my heart was beating so fast. My mind had thoughts of myself crashing into a car or skidding and falling to the ground and a big transport vehicle will just run me over. It's damn scary to be thinking of it on the road.

To sum up, having a bike when it's a rainy day is a mood killer.

blah

2006-01-06T16:58:00.000+08:00

The One With A Normal Entry

The exam period is here yet again, time for stress and lots of studying. The year has started off pretty well. Nothing much to really mention about, probably just the camaraderie in my class is really getting on very well. All our international students aren't that shy anymore and they are opening up to the Singaporean students and participating in class activity. We had the 1st birthday celebration as a class for Nathan today and could see he was really touched by what we've done for him. I've finally mustered the courage to speak to the person that everybody dislikes. Some of them were quite surprised that I made the initiative to do so cause I was one of those who really really dislike him. I only have my group members from the Malacca trip to thank for they were the ones who told me it's always better to have a friend than another enemy. Forgiveness it seems, is pretty much a nice thing after all.

Life's pretty much easier now that I've my own transport. Don't have to take the train nor the buses anymore unless my bike breaks down. Being on the highway for the 1st time yesterday was quite a hair-raising experience. Could totally feel the element of danger and being so unprotected makes it even worse. Have already seen two accidents and one of them involves a motorcyclist and a car. I shudder even when I think about it now.

Youth activities will be put on hold until further notice and in a way, I can finally visit my granny with my family members, haven't seen her since Christmas. One of the confirmants has told me she wanted to join YA! and to me, it's another piece of good news for yet another youth would be spending more time in church, rather than just attend Mass and have a stronger faith formed for herself.

Everyone's talking about this club MOS and how incredible it is. Have friends who've asked me to join them for clubbing but I've passed the thought to say Yes so far. One of this year's resolution is to club much less than I already am. Have to save money for all the bike related items. Yeah it's draining my account. Tomorrow will be my first revision lesson for my BM course for I'd be going back to Jurong East Swimming Complex and continue with my part-time job. I can't wait to be back at work. :)

Have a great weekend.

new year

2006-01-01T19:50:00.000+08:00

The One With The New Year

Hi! Happy New Year! What a great year 2005 was I must say. Well, of course there were downs like my break-up with my ex, my knee operation.. blah blah. But who'd dwell on that so much yeah? Anyway, the three best things that happened for me in 2005 were

1. Going back to VC where I've met and known so many genuine and nice people. If you're reading this, it was great working with you and handling so many projects together. Hmm, of course not just on the working together part, it's through being closer to you guys that in a way I've grown much more spiritually. On a personal note, thank you for the gifts and the cards. I would have written Xmas cards too if I wasn't so lazy. Heh.

2. Finally, I'm done with Army. When I was still in, the feeling of being so stranded from everyone else, not being able to see your love ones more often, having to book in at a stupid timing and worst of all, having foot rot! Haha, but it's not all bad I'm sure. At least it's a good conversation topic for most guys. Heh.

3. It has really been my dream to own and ride a bike ever since I was a little boy. I would watch motorbikes whizzing by from my 9th story flat in WestCoast and I often wonder how it would be like to be on a bike cruising down the highway. Now, many many years later I'm thankful that my dad has given me the cash to take the course and my mum for loaning the cash to help me purchase a bike that I so simply adore. Tuesday, 030106, my dream will come true. Pray that I would not be involved in any form of accidents.

I would like to officially dedicate 2006 to "Adrian shall slim down campaign". Woah let me tell you something, alot of people have been saying I'm putting on weight!! I hear things like "Adrian, your face is much rounder." , "Adrian, your tummy can be seen.", "Adrian, never exercise ah?" I miss having a much slimmer tummy than what I have now. If you want to jog or swim, call me ok? I need a kaki to get things started. But no gym training please, I cannot stand seeing people OVERLY obsessed with their muscles and start admiring themselves in the mirror whilst pumping that iron.

We had a great time over at Fel's. Thank you so much for opening the place for us to countdown to a great new year. :)

After the soccer match today, I realise that my right knee hasn't completely recovered. Help!

xmas

2005-12-25T23:42:00.000+08:00

The One Where Christmas Was At It's Best

Christmas started rather early for me this year, have already been dreaming about it since I've Ord-ed in September. Well, for that moment, all in my head was just to celebrate all the events and birthdays and gatherings and all other fun stuff that I didn't get to celebrate when I was in the Army. Carlsberg was the 1st Tv advertisement to have started this wonderful celebration for this year, even before Orchard or anywhere else had the Christmas decorations up. Most didn't have Christmas in their minds, so thankfully Carlsberg started the ball rolling.

Christmas has been simply great this year. I think, it was the one of the best so far. I can't really remember what I did 3, 4 or 5 years ago, just that in one of them, Eugene and I went over to Damien's to stay overnight. That night, we caught a little Tv before we went to bed. But I do remember that 2 years back, after midnight mass, I spent my night in Zouk. Last year, I attended mass in St Anne's Church and this year, it has got to be the best. It was back to Holycross and it was such a Christmas-y feeling cause almost the whole of VC was there! It was so nice to be wishing everyone a Merry Xmas and seeing the joy and peace of this season on everyone's face. Everyone was probably thinking back of the past year in the various projects we did together and the fun and laughter we all shared. I keep smiling whenever I think of last night. Christmas has always been the biggest thing that I celebrate yearly. It's much more important than my own birthday and what could have made it better but just by seeing your dear friends and wishing them all a Merry Christmas?

Christmas day lunch and dinner was so special this year! Yeah, I shall admit, I haven't had turkey before in all my years as a Catholic. No wait, just once actually, over at my sister's Godmother's house about 4 or 5 years back. We never had this special meal as a family. My mum and dad are not so traditional in the meals part but they've always made it a clear stand that we should always go for midnight mass. This year, my brother in law Gabriel and my sister initiated a Christmas lunch over at her new home in Sengkang (where is that? Far away lah, near Hougang. West side people won't be interested to know where because it's near Hougang. haha.) We had turkey (like I've mentioned earlier), shepherd's pie, some nice creamy soup, salad and grilled honey chicken. Had quite a lot of fun helping out in the kitchen, marinating the chicken and stir frying it. Preparing the shepherd's pie was great fun as well adding all sorts of nice stuff to make it yummy. I think I should learn how to cook one of these days because my exposures to cooking are always a little here and there. Someday, I must learn how to cook like John, the chef of VC. Haha, provided I'm not lazy. Anyway, it has always been my dream to have a Christmas lunch like that. Thank you Kor and Jie for making this day such a special one for me. :) With all that traditional and delicious food that's on the table, the Christmas tree by the side of the dining table, wonderful Christmas songs playing in the background.. I'm simply very happy with today. I do hope you had a wonderful and peaceful time with your family as well. :)

Tuesday's gonna be another day of celebration after school with VC. Potluck!

bike

2005-12-22T09:47:00.000+08:00

The One With My Dream Bike

Alright, so I've earned my license since last Thursday and indeed, I'm very happy about it. But the next headache is getting an appropriate bike that doesn't cost so much and at the same time have excellent features. In this "advertisement" , I feel that this is really a good bike. Even better than the one I have pictured in this blog. The advertisement states it has an extra long wide handle bar, which is good for riders, because we can't squeeze through cars in between jams, thus reducing the accidents caused. I've spoken to the owner of this bike that we've all just seen in the advertisement and he has agreed to let it go for SGD$4500. Honestly, I think it's a very very good bargain. The number plate's FX which means, it has been bought last year and the Mileage is just only 23.6K. Plus, the current installations all cost him above $2K and I believe he has spent more than $7K for the machine itself.

Aiyoh, why am I so poor? If you have any excess money and you don't know where to dump it, kindly contact me for my pockets will always be open to your dumping of your cash. Million thanks, haha.

Some Pictures from Malacca

Upon arrival, we were greeted by this sweet sign for us.

My Group members, Marilyn, Sean, Jon, Kevin, myself and Jacq.

Ok, my idea. Lousy pose.

Clockwise from top, Jerome, myself, Damien, Byron and Ewen

Myself and Ade the Dinosaur who loves to "Boo!" others.

Us all who attended the retreat.

Photos from LeeLing's house warming
My lifeguard colleagues from Jurong East Complex.

Little Esmond and I

Stacie's surprise birthday at The Esplanade

My Classmates
Clockwise from top, Dorothy, Darren, Dennis, Xanthe, Cindy, myself and Javier

John's Party at Marbella
John the happy birthday boy and I

Szeliang (who crack me up about the prawn without legs joke) and I

malacca

2005-12-20T20:16:00.000+08:00

The One About Malacca

10 wonderful things I would like to thank God for from the retreat in Malacca.

1. The interesting and inspiring lessons that Father Ignatius has taught us.
2. The great get-away from the comforts of our home and the place itself, Malacca
3. My dynamic group mates, Jacqueline, Kevin, Jonathon, Marilyn and Sean
4. My wonderful roomie, Ewen who shared countless jokes in the nights with me. And also for the time we both woke up to a morning call and fell asleep right after.
5. The "meow, meow, meow" song. To be honest, I don't really know what it really was though the tune sounded really familar and that VC could really meow so well.
6. The angelic voices of VC who kept the lively mood of Christmas going while we're on the coach back to Singapore. And John for making us laugh so hard on the way back! Hahaa..
7. Simply delicious dinner in Johor while on our way back. (best in 4 days)
8. All the groups who have staged and presented their wonderful skits and made us laughed so hard.
9. All the organisers for making this trip so successful.
10. The coach bus driver, Uncle Ben. For offering to send me home upon learning that I live in Hougang.

party!

2005-12-08T20:45:00.000+08:00

The One With The Dressed Up Party

Lots and lots of happenings these days in school, in church, not so much for my family and zilch for my private life. I've friends all getting attached these days and it's such a bliss to be in a relationship isn't it? You get to love someone and have love showered back upon you. You get to hold hands and take moonlit or sunset walks down the beach or maybe even at your favorite haunts. You take time to feed each other during meals and tell each other how delectable the other party is. You get to do wonderful things together and cute things to each other. You will often tease, tickle or maybe even sit still by the beach and enjoy each other's company. Countless things you can do as a couple and I'm sure if authentic love is present, never will a moment with him or her be colourless, but instead every single minute and second spent will be a myriad of colours, as plentiful as the rainbows that we see in the cloudless sky. Oh, sometimes, how I miss being attached. It's so lovely to be in love. I'm a movie freak and I can catch any genres of movies at anytime, well I'm sure most of you are. Romantic movies come along and I'm stuck. My guy friends would rather catch it with their other halfs which is understandable. I don't expect them to catch it with me as we'd all feel gayish sitting next to one other in the theatre. My stand is clear, who cares about you really, when all you need to know is that you yourself are having fun watching a movie with friends? Speaking of which, my ex-es and I would be catching movies frequently and I've been complained as an unromantic fella for I'm always the one suggesting to catch a movie, most of the time whenever we are out. Thinking back, I think I am too. Not just unromantic, probably boring as much as most would see it.

Well, singlehood is great anyway. Think about this, you can save up and wouldn't be spending so much money for the outings (well, come on now, the guys should always be the ones picking up the tabs. I'm not being a sexist here nor am I supporting the fact that guys are the superior sex and that they HAVE to pay for everything. It's just merely gentlemanly that when you are out with the lady you love, you pay for the expenses of the outing. It's just an automatic thing lah. Ok, I don't know why I'm explaining so much, so.. Moving on.), you wouldn't have to always rack your brains and knock it senseless by asking it to generate a program for the evening. You wouldn't need to talk on the phone perpetually every other day, nor report on where your physical being is (well, I know of some boyfriends or girlfriends who make their other half do that), you wouldn't need to worry about this other person if they are going clubbing, cause generally everyone is insecure when their other halfs does so. If your shaking your head now, I think.. I THINK your lying. Surely, for a fact, you would be at least be worried even for 1% on whether is your other half being intentionally or unintentionally touched by the other sex in the club. Or whether would your other half arrive home safely. Most importantly, if you're in the same organisation or school, it would be so awkward when you break up and worse still, if the heart's still aching, and you see your ex with other person. Oh my, what a heart wrenching scene. Makes you want to dig a hole and jump into it, isn't it? Worst case scenario, when your present other half haven't anymore feelings for you and decide to cheat on you and you are aware of it. Gosh, what a day you would have led eh? Ah, experiences show it's better to either be single or really be careful and mindful of who you agree to be attached with. Never choose someone with a pretentious character.

School's getting increasingly enjoyable for me to attend. I'm sure most if not all of my classmates will agree with me. Economics and Marketing Management are over and exams are long gone since last week. Currently, we've just embarked on Media Studies, Communication Skills and Advertising and Promotional Management. Exams will again be around the corner in mid January. We did a tutorial today and to date, I found today's lesson to be the most interesting ever. We've to come out with a list of 20 words and hand it up to our lecturer. She in turn will randomly pass the papers around to other students in the class and with those words, we have to each come up with a short story linking the words in order. Oh my gosh, like how interesting is that? It's a nice mental challenge we have to take cause she said she would award higher points to those who come up with a good and interesting story.

For church, Cynthia organised a surprise gathering for Stacie's birthday a few weeks back and it was staged at the rooftop of the Esplanade. Stacie was pretty shocked to see us and she haven't the least idea that we would be there, waiting for her with a delicious cake that Ewen has chosen and bought. Acra was brilliant in her ideas by buying fire sparkles for us to ignite that childhood memories we had as we played around with it and sang Stacie her birthday song.

John held his 21st at one of the most beautiful condominiums I've set foot on. It's The Marbella located at Mt Sinai. Somewhere after Holland Village, towards Clementi. And the food was ambrosial, (do not be confused with the name Ambrose) delightful at every munch and chew. Numerous alcoholic drinks were available and evidently you can certainly see most of the younger ones excited at the sight of these drinks. Partied with my classmate Javier and his bartender friends at Bar None after John's party and got home only at 7am. I thought I'd be a smart aleck and take a short 20 minutes nap and be up and ready for school that Monday morning. Needless to say, my "nap" lasted 7 hours and I awoke feeling guilty for having "pontang-ed" school that day. Anyway, it was the 1st lesson, nothing much was being taught except a task given to us to do a presentation today.

Some pictures taken at John's party. Some others are not sent to me yet.

John (centre in maroon) with the YA! family.

Myself, Fiona, Ariel and Ivan

Michelle and I

Teresa and I

Peter (the computer genius who saved my computer) and I

Jiamin and I

Eugene, myself, Damien and Ewen

Father Valerian and I

Myself, Szeliang and Adeline

song

2005-11-29T00:14:00.000+08:00

The One With No Words, But A Beautiful Song

Feel like a song without the words
A man without a soul
A bird without its wings
A heart without a home
I feel like a knight without a sword
The sky without the sun
Cos you are the one

I feel like a ship beneath the waves
A child that lost its way
A door without a key
A face without a name
I feel like a breath without the air
And every day's the same
Since you've gone away

I gotta have a reason to wake up in the morning
You used to be the one that put a smile on my face
There are the words that could describe how I miss you
And I miss you everyday
Yeah

And I'm never gonna leave your side
And I'm never gonna leave your side again
Still holding on girl
I won't let you go
Cos when I'm lying in your arms
I know im home

They tell me that a man can lose his mind
Living in the pain
The call in times gone by
The crying in the rain
You know ive wasted half the time
And i'm on my knees again
Till you come to me
Yeah

I gotta have a reason to wake up in the morning
You used to be the one that put a smile on my face
There are the words that could describe how I miss you
And I miss you everyday
Yeah

And I'm never gonna leave your side
And I'm never gonna leave your side again
Still holding on girl
I won't let you go
I lay my head against your heart
I know im home
I know im home
I know im home

And I'm never gonna leave your side
And I'm never gonna leave your side again
Still holding on girl
I won't let you go
Cos when im lying in your arms
I know im home

Daniel Bedingfield - Never Gonna Leave Your Side

birthday

2005-11-20T23:04:00.000+08:00

The One With Loving All

Today's teachings in church were very similar to my last entry. We were strongly urged to understand that we shouldn't choose who we want to love, but instead love everyone. In this context, it doesn't mean boy-girl relationship, that kind of love. But general love for everyone around us. I've found an extremely lovely quote from Mother Teresa which is seen on the right of this page.

The YA! session conducted by Cynthia and Jeannette was quite special in a way. Cynthia's sharing, including the sharings from the rest in my group didn't exactly wake me up, cause I do know even before this, that there is this impending issue that I have to face and I'm suppose to do what's right. It is the last YA! session for the year and today's lesson is yet again similar to today's teachings and my last entry. I guess it's pretty evident that I should do something about that issue in my life, where it will probably see me being nice instead of mean to that particular guy in class.

Celebrated Sheryl's birthday today with the rest of the YA! gang at her home and we had a simply sumptuous meal. The caterer was so good that I took down their contacts from Auntie Lyn and will be recommending them to my Angie, (my Sis) for her wedding next year.
The guys with Sheryl

She, with the ladies of YA!

Us all

Had a birthday celebration for Mark yesterday as well, in his condominium apartment.

2005-11-19T01:35:00.000+08:00

The One With Much To Say

( Mugging ) is the one of the biggest if not most commonly used words by students nowadays when they study for their tests and exams. Back in the days when I last studied 3 to 4 years ago, I didn't use the word "mugging" nor phrases like "chiong the night" or "burn the midnight oil". I wasn't studious like the millions in this world. So I could only use the word study. Even till now, I don't quite understand how the word mugging comes about, which actually is suppose to mean, studying really hard. And for the benefit of my dear friends Ewen and Vivian who tirelessly urged and cheered for me to study hard, I passed my tests with results I didn't expect. One of my 1st times passing school tests (written) in a really really long while. There was a slight catch though. For one of the papers, it was tough, but I think our lecturer was being such a darling by leniently marking us and for the other test paper, it was so darn easy to pass. I'm sure both of them were being really considerate, knowing that the bulk of us haven't touched books in years and these tests are probably to boost a little of our morale in getting us to really start mugging (yes I'm using the word now) for our exams which are like in a week. But in the link above, it has various meanings. Assaults, a part of the human face and even for people who make funny expressions. Ah, mugging can be used here. "I made my friends and I mug for this expression when we took this photo by Takashimaya's giant Christmas Tree."

And thereafter, we took a normal photo.
That's Dennis, the tallest in school (yes quite literally and he hunched for these shots). He stands at 1.94m. How many of us do have friends THAT tall? Scary, I think. But quite nice to have someone so big to walk around with you. It makes me feel guarded. Haha. That's handsome Javier on the right of the photo. Need a model anyone?

The 1st shot was inspired when I was in class today suddenly thinking of a weird thought. Paranoid, if you call it. I made that face, without really meaning to make them crack up in laughter in the end and I asked them, "Hey guys, if I were to have this kind of face, would you still be friends with me? If supposing nothing else of me change, just the face." They had laughing gas for breakfast or something and they laughed and laughed. Needless to say, my question wasn't answered not because they didn't want to answer me, but they thought I was making a joke with that face. I've always been having very insecure thoughts since I was in primary school when it comes to friends. Well, I'm sure most of us are like that from time to time, sometimes even thinking if we are conducting ourselves well in front of others. I've reinforced a close friendship with a bunch of good friends many months back, and at the same time neglected another precious group of friends. Many months later, I've lost the previous bunch of friends that I've reinforced with and got back in friendship with the other precious one. Isn't that funny? I flow from a group to another group but both i hold closely to my heart. Just that, I know I've to choose between the two and don't ask me why because the answers can be found in my other previous entry where I talked about having different groups of friends with different extreme characters which sometimes determines who you really are. Then again, sometimes when I drift away, it may not be because of the company that I mix with, but it could be that little stinking character I have in me which I'm very aware of these days.

I'm not afraid to share my flaws with whoever who reads this, for even if you're younger than me and even if you belong to church, you need to know that facils are not people who are flawless in their characters, personalities or moralities. We do in fact, have our downsides, worries and anxieties in many similar issues that you face. We are not perfect in any way but one thing's for sure, we do our best to show good examples. Though of course, we do fall and sometimes have no one to lend a hand to help us up. But that's where self control, discipline and understanding of one's place in a society that sets in.

I've been very very very bitchy these days about a classmate that everyone in my clique dislikes as well. I've been very very mean in the things I say about him to others and I haven't at all once mince my words when it comes to depicting what an irritating man I find him to be. In the midst of all these, I question myself many times, why do I criticise him so much if I call myself a Catholic? Aren't I one of those who unmercilessly criticise Jesus and his strong faith when He did say before that "whatever you do to others, you do unto me". I'm mean and Purselyn agrees very much to this as well. She's a victim of my relentless jokes on her but oh well, she knows that it's all in the name of fun. But for this very classmate, it's a different ball game altogether. He can really say things like, "I don't have anything, but I have a car." He's a rich arse you see and has a rich family. Another classmate of mine, in one of our bitching sessions about this guy, has similar sentiments but in a different approach, "I don't have anything, but I have friends. And so, does he?" Simple statement, but an excellent meaning. Which leads me to ask, yes what really are we without friends? Don't they form a very stupendous part of our lives? They share almost your every ups and downs, they entertain you, have fun with you and most importantly of all, are there when you most needed them. I don't see myself being a friend to this classmate we all abhor, but probably curb my disgusting habit of being so bitchy and a critic of him.

Last Sunday was a magical day for me, I've became a Godfather for Colin. It was through the grace of God that Colin actually picked me to be his Godfather. Honestly, I hesitated for a bit when he asked me. 1stly, I'm not very prayerful. 2ndly, I'm really not a good role model as a Catholic and 3rdly, I'm not too sure if I'm mature enough to be responsible for another person's spiritual wellbeing. Some I spoke to told me it's better not to be, some told me to reconsider very carefully and some even congratulated me on Colin's decision. Even I had to ask Colin a few times on whether he's sure that he wants to pick me. After all, I'm only 21 and I'm still very young! Haha. Anyway, in the end, I know this might be God's way of telling me that yes, it's time I put a stop to all the un-Catholic ways I have in my life and really to start living piously. Well maybe pious is too strong a word, perhaps more prayerfully or more God centred. And so, for you YES Colin, I will try and thank you for giving me this chance to have this wonderful connection we share in our faith with Christ.

And these are our group 6 members for our confirmation camp.

tests

2005-11-10T22:26:00.000+08:00

The One With A New Link, Terrors and Tests

Finally, one of the ultimate terrorist has disappeared from the face of the earth. More trouble might be caused because of this. But the good thing is, at least one of the heads of the terror network is not around anymore.

AMMAN, Jordan - another victim of bomb blasts has been targetted by the Al-Qaida terrorist network. Just what are these people thinking? Bombs after bombs, there seem to be no stop to this. Someone did say before that even if the world manage to capture the current terrorists, it is hard to surely put a stop to terrorism that goes around in this world. New terror groups may even be formed. In BAGHDAD, Iraq - yet another two suicide bombers detonated themselves killing at least 33 and injuring another 19. I'm glad in Singapore, we're still considered in absolute safe hands.

I've passed my Practical 8 yesterday and that's the final practical conducted by the school. My next step's to take the Traffic Police Practical Test but the date that's given will be on the 15th December and that's the day I'd be leaving for Malacca with the VC people for our retreat, till the 18th. Because I'd be skipping school on the 16th, I wouldn't want to do so again on the 15th for my Practical Test that's in the morning, even though we're leaving at night. I guess I've to wait for another test date that will be given soon. Usually, testees won't get to pass on their 1st try in Comfort Driving Centre. Which means, I've to wait to somewhere in Feburary or March to get my licence. Oh gosh, what a long wait.

2 tests coming up next Tuesday and Wednesday. "I can't wait"

Had this photo taken with Javier and Darren during our lecture break.

Visit ( this page ) before you turn in for the night. Beautiful quotes from our ever lovely Mother Teresa. Enjoy them.

New Link under "I Surf" -( god listens ). Click on it if you would want to listen to live streaming of Christian music. Featuring the likes of Delirious, Hillsongs (Darlene Zschech), Paul Baloche, Chris Tomlin, etc. Two radio stations for you to choose from. Thank you Felicia for introducing this excellant website! :)

diarrhoea

2005-11-06T12:22:00.000+08:00

The One With Diarrhoea

According to ( here ) , diarrhoea means, "Excessive and frequent evacuation of watery faeces, usually indicating gastrointestinal distress or disorder".

Help me, I'm suffering from that now. Since around 0300hrs last night till now, I've been saying hi to the toilet bowl 6 times already. It doesn't help that I need to travel in the bus all the way to the west sometime in the evening for a friend's birthday party. Certainly hoping I'd be fine by then. I seriously wonder was it the supper I had last night at Bukit Timah's. And I wonder if the rest of my friends are fine. Tell me ok, if you guys are experiencing excessive and frequent evacuation of watery faeces. (Haha, what a way to put it.) We might want to engage a lawyer to sue them. Yeah right, like we have alot of money.

Ok, I sense a storm in my tummy again. Gonna say hello to the toilet bowl again, do you want to send any of your regards? Haha.. Sorry ah, very dehydrated. As a result, I cannot think properly. Heh.

cafe pacific

2005-11-04T00:23:00.000+08:00

The One Where Zouk's Still The Place

Friday's here in a flash and the week's been pretty normal for me. Was at Cafe Pacific with my classmates and we had some photos taken. Turned out pretty well. Let's introduce you to them shall we? :)

These are the guys, top clockwise, Dennis, Javier, Darren and myself.

Cindy, myself and Xanthe

Some of the shots out of the many we took.

Was in church a few times this week to attend all Saint's Day mass and also to plan for this Saturday's Eucharistic Adoration with Adeline and a music practice on Thursday. Haven't been to Zouk for ages and a part of me misses that very place as it was the place I 1st went to. I've finally managed to see what Zouk/Phuture and Velvet is like after the renovations. The Gents are a little much better than what it used to be with bigger sinks and more brightly colored tiles. I always tell myself, never to club on holiday eves because Zouk will always be as packed as a can of sardine fish. I should have kicked myself for forgetting that it was a public holiday the following day. Needless to say, the queue was so long till it reached Grand Copthorne Hotel's basement carpark. Yeah, no kidding. Crazy sight to behold. Luckily for us, we needn't queue cause Jon's friend is a member and she brought us in. Talk about luck. My sis was an avid clubber at Zouk in the past but she has quit clubbing long, long ago. Met her and her friends by chance as one of them have just got back from Aussie and we partied together. Went into the members' area and Cynthia Koh was sitted next to us, chatted for a bit with her. In Phuture, we saw another celebrity, Rosalind Pho, shook her hands and spoke with her as well. She was pretty friendly and oh, so so hot.

It's off to Granny's home tomorrow to accompany her to the bank and the town council. Goodnight you.

Random

2005-10-30T00:41:00.000+08:00

The One Of School And Volunteers

Two whole weeks has passed by really quickly and I've pretty much been in tuned with how my unicamp works. The time-tables, the different lecture rooms everyday, some familiar faces, above average foodcourt stuffs, etc. Haven't really taken the chance to explore our gym facilities nor really visited the library. I guess it's because most of the time after our lectures, we would head on down to town and slack our afternoon there. I know, it's really unhealthy for our studies but we're all pretty much still in the switch off mode. It's time to start some serious revision work. I don't want to be lagged behind.

I hear of my Uni friends who've so much work to be done. They've things like project meetings, assignments, this paper, that paper, tests, exams, tutorials and other what nots that have to be completed. I wish I'm as busy as them, but of course I know I'm speaking too soon as when that time really comes, I would be wishing otherwise. So far, all we have are tutorial questions to complete and our own reading up and revision work. Nothing solid has really stepped in and stressed us yet.

Class atmosphere is really building up well now. Mostly everyone has known each others' names. We've the noisy, funny and ultra cool group, the studious group, the "we-are-clammed-up-please-don't-talk-to-us" group, china students group 1 and 2 (where we've a babe in one of the groups) and the all girls group. Needless to say, I proudly belong to the 1st group. *ahem!*
Well, think of this. If you really know me, 1stly, I'm not studious. 2ndly, I'm pretty chatty so I don't think I should belong to the "clams". Pardon me, that's what I call them and it's not a bad label, just probably a name I observe on. I'm definitely not a woman, thus, not a babe and I'm Singaporean. So where should I belong to but the ultra cool group? Haha. But seriously, this bunch of people I'm with everyday are pretty great to be with. We've countless topics to talk about and the ideas we have about life, through our sharings everyday and read, (not gossips) but "constructive criticism", (I emphasize, not gossips) brought us pretty much closer together in just two short weeks. Well, I'm sure most friendships will start of this way, everything beginning in a prim and proper manner with every little detail being exact and nice. I'm sure, things would be different in weeks to come, when stress builds in, probably true colours will be shown.

I've seen many lists that people would put up in their blogs. I've never bothered to put my own list up because I think there's not a need to. They are mostly wants and since my needs are settled for and primarily because I'm not at all rich, I shall just chuck the wants to some quiet lane in my brain where I'd walk upon when I've strike it rich. But, just for the sake of saying and for the sake of making plain, pure statements, here are my wants.

1. To learn how to sky-dive
2. To have a car or a bike
3. To swim with the dolphins in the sea
4. To know how to wake-board
5. To know how to dive
6. To visit the wonders of the world
7. To have a pet I will love and treasure
8. To visit the Vatican City
9. To go for roller coaster rides of all kinds and scream at the top of my lungs
10. To see my parents retire early

Probably, these are the top ten things I would love to do right now. Of course, none are feasible as of yet. There's this channel 8 program that I've been faithfully trying to follow and it airs every weeknights at 9pm. Lead actor, Mr Qi YuWu is a volunteer at the hospitals, bringing cheer and joy to the children that he visits who are hit with diseases of any kinds. The story line sees this man as a person who would go all out a 100% to help everyone around him with a need and he has this super forgiving heart and an understanding character. So far, there's no one in this world that I know who's like that but one friend who is in Chicago studying now and he's one in a million. All who knows him, misses him greatly. I've been touched very much by this character in this drama serial. Don't you think doing volunteer work is very fulfilling? You get to help those who are really in need and yes, you won't gain anything materially or financially. As assured as I am by telling you this, the only gain you get is indescribable, and it's in the heart.

It seems very difficult for most of us to really start on volunteer work. We lament that 24hrs a day is never enough to complete our tasks, chores and responsibilities. We always feel that there is never enough time to enjoy the pleasures of life. Somewhere in this world, millions have all that time we ask and plead for, but they do not have the physical, financial, mental, emotional state to enjoy the pleasures of life. Some are so sick, they rely on machines to keep them alive, beds to be their staple venue of life. Some are so poor, they have grass and leaves of the trees for survival. Even the rubbish that we throw are considered luxuries to them. Some have been forced into a crazy mental state or even experience dementia that they do not even recognise the people who love them and the hurt they have on their loved ones are strongly depicted in the lifeless gaze they have in their eyes. Some have became despondent and feel that life brings no meaning, no directions, no love.

Can these people, in their times of extreme sadness ever see the loving face of Christ? Will his love touch them and give them hope? Will prayers of petitions around the world reach the ears of our Almighty Father? Help them O Lord, give them patience, hope and understanding and let them know you love them too.

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,

2005-10-29T00:11:00.000+08:00

The One With Desiderata

I was packing my shelves a few months ago and I came across this beautiful and meaningful passage titled, "Desiderata". I remember that this passage was a gift from a teacher, Mr Wong to me. It was just on a simple piece of paper, but yet the weight and context of the words in the passage held such great meaning. I made a mental note to share this in my blog, but being forgetful, it has totally crossed my mind. Blog surfed around and again I chanced upon it. Enjoy.

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career,
however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

-- Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952

sunday

2005-10-24T00:32:00.000+08:00

The One With The Inner Most Hurts

Today has got to be one of the best lessons that I've learnt in life. Heard it a few times in church before, but somehow, the homily and the sharing session we had in YA! has further enhanced its true meaning of the word, "sacrifice".

Father J.J has never failed in giving excellent homilies and today's homily has once again I'm sure touched many hearts if they were listening intently to him. He touched on our celebration of Mission Sunday and this Mission that Jesus has given to us more than 2000 years ago. He talked about the upbringing of our children nowadays, that parents should teach them to be more frugal with their expenditure and perhaps save a little more for rainy days instead of just spending it more on their wants, instead of needs. He also felt that parents these days should spend more time in prayer with their children. After all, it certainly is the formers' full responsibility in educating their children in the Word of God. Of course, the church and its various activities catered could also be of huge help in helping the child know more of his/her faith.

Father J.J shared with us that when he was overseas in India for his further studies, he saw the Catholicism that was conducted for the children there and it was a humongous difference to the lessons conducted right here in Singapore, where technology is advanced and places where lessons are held are usually fully air-conditioned or fully equipped with fans. And yet, he stressed, that our children nowadays would feel that lessons are boring and unimportant. In India, when the teachers asked questions, every single child would raise their hands in anticipation that they would be picked to answer the questions. They didn't at all mind that their studying environment was just an empty area without chairs and tables, without proper ventilation nor a shelter. Yet, their enthusiasm reached higher than our children we have here who have almost everything that they need. Are we too spoilt and pampered that we forget the smaller things in life? Certainly, I'm not judging. But all I'm saying is that we are perhaps 1000% luckier that we are living in Singapore and have everything we need, on top of that, we could still have the financial capability to hanker after our wants.

We shared about helping others and perhaps maybe hoping that others would help us in return when we are in times of need. Well, this is purely just the human side of us talking. I'm sure at times, most of us would help others without asking anything else back in return. And there are also times when we would be so hard-up for favours that should be returned to us. It is hard to strike a balance isn't it?

Mother Teresa, widely and affectionately known as our Saint of the Gutters, Angel of Mercy is a person that all of us should really look up to. She could have chosen a simple life and stayed in a church to help out in ordinary duties a nun would have but no, she chose to lead a life helping and caring for the lepers, Aids patients, the cancer stricken, the forsaken, the poor and the hungry. Does she at all expect anything in return to herself? I affirm a No. I'm sure she had only one goal in mind, which is to touch others who know what she has done and to try to follow her footsteps.

On a different note, my family is going through a tough time. There was this evening we stayed up till 1 plus in the morning on a week day night to iron out our differences. Well, it was actually more of my Mum and Dad who were the ones exchanging heated arguments. All through 21 years of my life, we didn't had family prayer sessions, where all of us should sit together and devote a prayer or two as a family and lift it up to our Lord. There was a saying from our Blessed Virgin Mother Mary, that prayers are so strong that if we pray hard together, our petitions and hopes for a better world, a happier family, etc would be answered. Of course, she didn't meant praying for selfish gains or bad deeds would be answered. All these arguments that they had, were just repetitive from the past and it never has been solved all these 27 years that they are married. You ask me why? I can only say my family's spiritual wellbeing is zero. So what if we attended masses together? That doesn't mean we are a happy family. If two people can live with each other for so long and have the same faith in Christ, but whenever quarrels arise and they are of the same old ones, where I ask, is the teachings of Christ ever present in their hearts to forgive and forget? Isn't is true that if we can be better people here on earth and do what God wills, would our rewards be accumulated in his Kingdom? My parents make me very sad, they made me see that marriage might not be an option in life when two people living with each other still could not reach peace after so long. Sure, there were of course happy times and in these times, momentarily the history sadness are all forgotten. But are they truly gone? It is so bloody tiring to be living in a mask with someone you proclaim you love 27 years ago on the altar where you exchange vows and promised to love each other in sickness and in health, in good times and bad, till death parts you both. I wish you are IT savvy enough to be reading this entry of mine and understand that the pain you bring to my sister and I are excruciatingly huge and we are quietly hanging on to the hope that you will reconcile, make peace and say that you love each other again. And when you do, please do forget about whatever that has happened for they are of the past and what's the real reason in living in the past? Look forward and enjoy your golden years ahead. Angeline and I have always asked you two to pray many times together with the two of us and strengthen yourself spiritually, for only when you allow the Sacred Heart of Jesus to dwell in you, then would you experience the true happiness of being in His love.

I pray and I ask for anyone who reads this to include my dearest parents and my family to be in your prayers. Thank you, from my heart.

wishes

2005-10-18T22:51:00.000+08:00

The One With Wishes

Society's changing way too much man, or is it I'm slow? Just read a secondary 3's blog and I realized that more secondary school students are blogging harder than young people aged 17-21. (yes, WE are all young. aren't we? heh.) When I was in Sec 3, I didn't think that much, nor have so many rants and frustrations to let out. Maybe only one thing, that my dad and I argued quite often, but that's just because of my studies. Which parent and child doesn't right? Let me know if you and your dad or mum don't, cause I would need to get some formulas from you. Heh.

When I was in Sec 3, I was only interested with Ncc and of course swimming. I wasn't exposed to poetry, music and the arts. My sister Angie, and I would always lament the fact that we are very normal children. We didn't have the luxury to go for piano lessons, ballet lessons (for her lah), violin lessons or even guitar lessons. We were not signed up for the various courses that are available for all children in Singapore these days. I guess my mum and dad either didn't have the foresight then or perhaps they weren't that well to do. Sometimes, when I'm in church, no make that all the time, I would wish I have that special skill in music. To have that ability to play an instrument and connect with it emotionally and spiritually. I would wish for a chance to be enrolled in singing classes also and be great singers like John, Teresa or Cheryl Lek. So many wishes left not granted. But hey, I'm still happy right now you know? My family's safe and healthy, great friends from church, sec school, army and work place. What more can I ask? :)
Oh, probably one more thing that many people are asking for, to have more money. Superficial, superficial! Haha.

Passed my Riding Theory Test yesterday and I've finally obtain the Provisional Driving License. Not that much big of a thing, but it's some progress over the month. Practical 6 will see us in the public road, interacting with other road users and testing our judgment and all the stuffs that we've learnt at the school. Downside of this is that, it's harder to book for lessons as Prac 6 is usually at night and highly sought after by other learners.

School's great so far since Day 1. Made a new friend, Dennis and he's really fun to talk with. Share quite alot of common topics for conversations and he's a real joker. Makes me laugh so hard in our lectures. Luckily, the rest of the class laughed with us. If not, I might be deem as the crazy fella who laughs at his whim and fancy. There's this girl that Dennis and I nickname her as "Miss Enthu". Simply easy to understand why. After a lecturer ends every statement, she would laugh/exclaim/comment/nod profusely/fidget. She definitely has to have some sound coming out from her mouth or make some stupid loud comment. In truth, she has pissed us off. But it's not that bad. At least today, she was quieter. Probably someone must have told her about her "sickness".

Almost half or more than half of my school's students are foreigners. I can tell you for sure that I feel as though I'm in other country's international school. My class has students from China, Vietnam, Thailand and Malaysia. And when we were at the foodcourt, you can distinctively see the ratio of foreigners to Singaporeans, the former being more.

Ok, goodnight.

Big day

2005-10-16T22:52:00.000+08:00

The One With The Big Day!

Big day tomorrow! Can't wait to step foot into the compound and greet the new faces and smell the air of new life. Ah, the anticipation! School for the next month shall only be from 9am-12pm. How shiok is that? My campus is just next to Queenstown swimming complex! Oh yes, that means bye-bye Hougang and hello Queenstown! Although the latter's much older, but why bother when it's just the pool that's similar?

Riding Theory Test tomorrow, if I make it, I'd be greeted with a PDL in my hands, if not, it's just another month to wait for the next test. Wish me luck!

Peiheng's birthday celebration was on Saturday in a nice cosy restaurant in Paragon. Was nice meeting up with the guys after such a long time. It's 2252 now and it's time for bed. Why, why? I'm capable of sleeping early ok? Heh.

gotta be

2005-10-14T02:34:00.000+08:00

The One With You Gotta Be

What a crazy 3 days of trying to restore my whole computer system. All thanks to Peter for agreeing to help me out in my time of need. Everybody knows what a computer idiot I am. Well, I think Peter found out another bad thing about me, that I've a whole truckload of questions to ask and I think I might have pissed him off real badly. Haha! Sorry Peter! And many many thanks to you again for helping me out. Would have been lost if it wouldn't have been for you. :)

I've finally settled my Safra membership and the rebate that I would be getting from MDIS from being a member at Safra's. I think being a Safra member has got a lot of perks waiting for all of us. I've just browsed through the little booklet that they have and the discount offers that they have for us. Pretty exciting actually. Check it out for yourself if you're game for a membership with them. Thankfully, Dad was around to give me a lift today from Safra to my campus and then to my driving centre at Eunos. With my lousy time management, I'm sure I would have been late if it wouldn't have been for him.

It was Junling's birthday 2 days ago and we had a celebration with her at her place last Saturday. Certainly was nice seeing Meixian and Desmond again. It's been ages since we spoke and caught up with each other. Visual feeds.

The birthday girl, Junling having a picture taken with the guys.

Junling and myself.

Meixian and I. Great to see you once again!

Desmond, myself and Weikiat. The latter didn't want to have a picture taken without his cap as he has just enlisted into the Army. Botak's cool dude! Desmond has this Jay Chou aura doesn't he? Haha..

All of us.

Had quite a fun time with all of them. Although there wasn't much entertainment during the party, I think the best part was when all of us got to sit and reminiscence about the past.

Brought my camera to church on Sunday and we took two shots of ourselves. The YA! photo with some of our friends missing (thank you John for snapping it for us!) and the 84/85 picture which had myself, Ewen, Sheryl, Jeannette, Stacie and Mark. I was suppose to be giving the "Japanese point my fore finger at my cheek act", but haha! I couldn't do it at all. I was so embarrassed! I've seen some of my friends doing that pose, and I've always thought to myself, when will I ever rise to the occasion and do that? I think, never. Mark had to tell me over and over to do that pose, but it was just too hilarious in my head for me to be forcing my fore finger to my cheek! :)

Kenneth's doing his National Service now and he called earlier to tell me how are things in camp. He's quite lucky to be getting the more relaxed vocation although he laments to me that he prefers a tougher life in NS. He hears about guys having a great time in bunks, living and working together and a big part of him yearns for that kind of feeling. Well brada, let's just say some guys would give anything they own to be in your shoes. Cheer up! Probably, God's giving you this vocation so you can be back in church to serve him!

Kenneth and I

Met up Jonathan, his girlfriend Carol and Kay for the movie "Goal" and I must say, it's an excellent movie. If any of you are mistaken that it's just all about soccer, well I have to affirm, you're wrong. Talks a lot about the choices and the decisions we make in life. Won't spoil the fun for you, go catch it! And yes, if you love your Dad, this is the movie for you. Met up Victor after his work and we head on down to Acid Bar for a round of drinks and snapped a few photos. One of the nicest we've taken so far.

Jon, myself, Kay and Victor.

I was just thinking about this song and something made me search for its lyrics. Shall leave you to that if you feel you've a tough week. :)

Des'ree - "You Gotta Be"

Listen as your day unfolds

Challenge what the future holds

Try to keep your head up to the sky

Lovers, they may cause you tears

Go ahead, release your fears

Stand up and be counted.

Don't be ashamed to cry

Chorus

You gotta be You gotta be bad

You gotta be bold You gotta be wiser

You gotta be hard You gotta be tough

You gotta be stronger You gotta be cool

You gotta be calm You gotta stick together

All I know all I know love will save the day

Herald what your mother said

Read the books your father read

Try to solve the puzzles in your own sweet time

Some may have more cash than you

Others take a different view

My oh my..

Chorus

Bridge

Time asks no questions

It goes on without you

Leaving you behind if you can't stand the pace

The world keeps on spinning

Can't stop it if you try to

The best part is danger staring you in the face

-----------------------------------------------

Somehow, I think the part "Some may have more cash than you" is so so so true. Student=Poor, Ahhh! *Hands in the air* What to do? Haha..

backstabbing

2005-10-07T00:41:00.000+08:00

The One With All The Gossips

Music speaks to all of us in every way. Doesn't it? Sometimes I wonder what life would really be like without beats, rhythms, lyrics, tones and tunes. It certainly would be mundane and expressionless. There's this song that once said, "let the music heal your soul, let the music take control", surely there is an instant that we've let music heal our souls and have let it take control of our very being right there and then.

Two birthdays, and a pre-enlistment party have passed and all three were celebrated in different clubs. I must say, the music at Chinablack is still very much well sought after by many people. Haven't really enjoyed myself after a really long while and many thanks goes to those who've went last night. You made the party good.

It's easy to understand why gossip is the key to many misunderstandings or pains that follow after it is being spoken of. Just anticipate and pray that your gossip will never fall into wrong hands, for when that happens, you'd be in for a deep dark and ugly surprise. Key to stop that from happening? Simple, conduct yourself well and allow zero mistakes to occur between any interpersonal relationships. Seems really unmitigable right? That's because it is. In human terms, we would understand that making zero mistakes will never happen for only through trail and error, then would we learn that this is right or wrong. It's like before knowing the meaning of a hot kettle, we would have to touch it to comprehend its meaning. Lousy metaphor, I know. But you get the drift. Set a high standard of being a person worthy of everyone's respect for you. It's suppose to be earned, not demanded. Only then, if you understand the indubitable fact of the simple ugliness in the deceit and flaws of human's innate need to gossip, will we defend ourselves from all the shit that's directed at us.

Ah, screw it.

good news

2005-10-05T15:24:00.000+08:00

The One With Good News

I passed, I passed! Well, it's not the final Practical 8, but Practical 5, which is the in circuit assessment by the instructors. Pretty much thankful to God for letting me pass on my 1st attempt. I can finally be on the public road now! Whew. A few factors to be thankful for,

1. The weather was on my side
2. I was lucky to have chosen a good bike
3. The instructors were nice enough not to penalize me too much
4. Enough sleep the night before and concentration during the test

Now, to concentrate on passing my Theory Test which is on the same day as my 1st day of school. Wish me luck! :)

Bike

2005-10-04T19:00:00.000+08:00

The One Where It Wasn't Good When It Rained

Lovely weekend it has been. We had a sumptuous spread during VC's anniversary mass. A pity to some of our members who couldn't make it. It was lovely to see everyone having fun, snapping pictures with each other, capturing those beautiful moments. Special thanks to everyone who made this event a splendid one, taking special time to cook and prepare the meal. Although we had to shift here and there, I'm sure everyone had fun. I know I did.

Had a meeting with the core group from Youth Alive! about a camp we'd be holding for VC this coming end of the year. Pretty much excited that we'd be having another camp coming up. Hopefully I'd be able to get some time off from school to attend the 1st day on a Friday early evening. Kenneth will be going to serve his National Service soon and a few of us gathered in my place to have dinner. Mum prepared yet another wonderful dinner for all of us. I would seldom ask my friends over for dinner or any gatherings as Hougang's pretty much a faraway place for everyone to be. Well, I'm speaking for those staying in the West. Thankfully, this dinner was a success. Mingled around after dinner and we saw ourselves playing a little bit of blackjack and some monopoly in my room. The game was so interesting and addictive to everyone that they all stayed till 5 plus in the morning. Had some breakfast at the coffeeshop near my place and saw them left at around 6. I had a lesson later that day at 1245 hrs and sleeping at 6 plus in the morning didn't really help when I had to wake up at 10. The worse part was, just slightly after my lesson started, it started drizzling and then, the rain got bigger and bigger! I was so drenched by the time all the bikers went for the raincoats provided for us.

With so little sleep and a heavy downpour, I felt really afraid that I might meet with an accident if I wasn't careful enough. Needless to say, I don't have any experience with the road being wet, and I didn't know if my acceleration was enough or not. Guess the truth came to light when I almost skidded. Thankfully, the brake pads were really strong and that prevented me from a fall. Will be taking my circuit evaluation test tommorrow and if all goes well, I would be on my way to Practical 6, which would be on the main road.

Life's getting increasingly boring nowadays. I don't have a job, I don't have a direction everyday because school's not started for me yet. I can't find any of my friends to go out with because everyone's either working or studying. Thankfully, I still have Guorong to accompany me to my swims and jogs during the week. Besides looking forward to every of my next lessons and passing each evaluations, there's nothing pretty much to look forward to. These days, I feel really aimless. There's something that's troubling me in my mind and I want it so much to be solved. As hard as I might, I know there's nothing I could do at all.

I found out something today, whether or not it's true, I hope you're happy.

true self

2005-09-28T20:31:00.000+08:00

The One With A True Self

Try this, buy a dentist's mirror and take a look at the back of your teeth. Both the upper and lower ones. Do you see a distinct difference in the cleanliness of them and the ones you show when you smile? I had this sudden thought when I was brushing my teeth last night, whether do most people spend more time in cleaning the teeth that they show, rather than those that are hidden behind.

It led me thinking, is it like another life example that we are subconsciously not aware of? Let me elaborate further. Most of us care a lot about our appearances and we spend countless hours in our lives to make ourselves look good. We buy products, clothes, style our hair to improve our looks and when we look good, we feel good. Just like how the brand Goodlook's catchphrase is, "If you don't look good, we don't look good". I guess many of us focus a lot on our personal appearances. I'm not saying that is wrong, but really, how many of us spend the same amount of countless hours to beautify our inner appearances? It's not about the physical body I'm talking about, as I've covered the area on us buying clothes to look good. But more on our spiritual self, our morality, character and personality.

I've been blog surfing these past few days and I've come across many bloggers who show their displeasures and pleasures in life, pictures of themselves with friends having a good time lunching or dinnering, quotes, song lyrics, well you know it, the usual stuff that we see these days on blogs. Have you came across anyone who puts up suggestive photos of themselves? I'm not targeting any men or women here, just the general public. What do you think of these people who does that? If they have a comment page, for example "Haloscans", a proven fact would show that there are people who would bother to tag or leave a comment. There would be lustful people who would write in suggestive comments and also for some others who dislike the writer, would write in hateful words or even stuffs that are insulting to the writer. Now, if you are the writer, if you see unfavorable comments that speaks badly about yourself, would you delete the comments and keep those that boost your confidence or praise you to the highest heavens?

On a personal note, I've no unfriendly thoughts about these people who posts such pictures of themselves or even speak about themselves having pre-marital sex, clubbing, smoking, spewing vulgarities on their blogs and what other vices you can think of. As blog surfers, I think most of the time, we should only sit on the fence and not be so offended unless told otherwise. After all, it's their blogs, right? If anyone has posted any of the above on their blogs, I have only one thing to say about them, bravery. Why do I say that? Well, for one, they are perhaps not afraid to let anybody know about what they write publicly or do privately, whether is it their parents or teachers reading what they write. Everybody has different concepts of life. They may choose to keep the outer parts of their teeth cleaner than the inside whereas there maybe others who would choose to keep the inner side cleaner than the outside or perhaps even others who would dutifully keep both parts clean. If you know what I mean.

It is also the company of friends that we keep that determine who you are. I think I read about this famous person who was quoted saying, "You are who your friends are." Well, any truths in that? What about those who have different kinds of friends? Those who are different extremes in characters and what if these 2 or more groups do are totally different? Won't then, this person who mix with these groups, according to this famous person, be a person of different personalities at different days of the week? Won't then, this person be termed as a chameleon? Won't he/she have a true self? The complexities of mankind. Yes, I'm very sure that many, oh many of us are like that. It's a struggle, isn't it?

james

2005-09-17T00:04:00.000+08:00

The One With James Blunt

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful.
You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Very high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You're beautiful.
You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
You're beautiful.
You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

--James Blunt- "You're Beautiful"

Dakota

2005-09-16T23:53:00.000+08:00

The One With Dakota Moon

Girl, you're every breath I take Oh baby,
Your love rules every move I make Oh baby,
And I know that you can't read my mind
And baby, maybe I

Don't say it as often as I should
But I really want it to be heard
When I say I love you that's for good
You have my word
That day after day after all I will always be true
That's a promise I make to you

You, you take this heart of mine
And make it better I need you to
Come and walk with me through this life
Forever
And I know these words are long over due
And baby, maybe I

Don't say it as often as I should
But I really want it to be heard
When I say I love you that's for good
You have my word
That day after day after all I will always be true
That's a promise I make to you

I may hold you
I may need you
I may want to
And baby, maybe I

Don't say it as often as I should
But I really want it to be heard
When I say I love you that's for good
You have my word
That day after day after all I will always be true
That's a promise I make to you
A promise I make to you
A promise I make to you

--Dakota Moon- "A Promise I Make"

hunger

2005-09-16T02:02:00.000+08:00

The One With Hunger Pangs

You know how sometimes you would be hungry in the middle of the night and you would want to find something to eat? I know I shouldn't be eating anything at night, because I've a tummy that's starting to show. Thought I'd just drink some water or have some iced cold milo. I tried the fridge to see what I can find and to my sweetest amazement, I saw a Sweet Talk Grape Ice-blended bought for me from my darling mummy, and sliced up papayas from my dearest daddy. They knew I was coming home late tonight. Oh, it's darn sweet I tell you. Well both the taste and their concern for my midnight tummy. I love you!

Actually, they do this quite often, just that I don't thank them enough. I thought I'd just share with you how tasteful the grape ice-blended and how sweet my papaya slices were. Hougang mall has finally opened a Sweet Talk! Much to my happy delight, I can have my favourite Grape, Lychee and Passionfruit Ice blended everyday! Well, not everyday, but every once in a while.. Haa..

everything

2005-09-16T00:38:00.000+08:00

The One With The Lack Of Everything

It's disheartening to learn that our world's plagued with so much murder, crimes of any sorts, terrorists' attacks, natural disasters. I am glad that for one, none of the people that's close to me have experienced any of these misfortunes.

The case of the maid who was brutally murdered brings me back to mind how precious life is. What if one day we were to lose our lives and abandon the people with us who are so adjusted to us being around? Or what if we were to lose the people we love so much suddenly? Sometimes, we might have just taken these dearest people to us for granted and probably not even care about their feelings when we choose to say hurtful things. We might just lose the only chance we have to say how much we love or cherish them. Even a simple thank you will show how much you appreciate this person's doing for you. Often, stories we've heard have depicted to us how regretful the main lead was when they hadn't had the last or final chance to say goodbye, thank you, I'm sorry or perhaps even an I love you. Has pride overtaken our lives so much that we are so stubborn to acknowledge the gift of these people who are dearest to us? Have we let the materialistic gains build an invisible yet formidable wall to block out the people we care about? Have we forgotten about people who have meant something to us before in our lives, but since they are not active in our lives anymore, we've totally not cared about their existence?

Has life become such a mundane period that we forget to appreciate the smaller things in life? We rush to work, and we work to rush and it's all for the sake of keeping to our schedule, to make sure that there's something to fill in the void of time. Have we forgotten to thank the people around us for the simple things that they do for us? People in the service industry, the aunties and uncles whom we should respect as they clear our empty food bowls and trays, people behind the counter, taxi-drivers, etc. Do we even thank the people that we know? Favors that are granted to us even without asking for one back, in times of need when friends and family stood by us and when it was time for us to give a helping hand, do we fold our arms, take a step back and mentally note to always say a No?

Have we always said "nevermind, it's a small matter", or "nevermind, he/she wouldn't mind" and forget that it actually does matter and it actually is minded? Are campaigns ever enough to remind the people to be gracious thinking, caring, unselfish, polite, humble, to possess filial piety, self respect, respect for others, etc.

What has this world become to, when those who've tried to be scheming, power hungry, selfish, greedy, etc has led to the downfall of many communities, engaging in fights, wars, self destruction and political uprising?
It's time everyone wakes up and choose to be doing the right thing, at the right time and at the right place for if we all don't, the downfall of society may just one day fall into our very own hands.

Careful

2005-09-14T00:50:00.000+08:00

The One With Being Careful

Read an article in the papers earlier and there's these two Singaporean males who were fined for being seriously critical and racist in the remarks they've made in their blogs and some dog website. Apparently, they were being really racist to the Muslim community in Singapore. So heads up for those who are racist to any communities, don't post such comments on your blogs, websites, etc, lest you get caught by the authorities.

Today, I was concentrating so much on the proper techniques of handling my bike and the right way of going through the next course that I accelerated far too much and found myself really moving towards too close to the curb. Thank God that I was able to remember the words of my instructor, to use the rear and front brakes, close throttle and slow down.

And oh, this Aedes mosquito and the dengue fever it brings is getting highly much a talked about affair in Singapore. My mum has got the dengue fever once and it was many years back. But it wasn't from my Clementi home that she got the bite from. That incident shook me up pretty much because my mum could've left us when I was at that tender age. Thankfully, her fever went down gradually and the hospital doctors were able to save her. So do get your family to check out the pots of plants that you guys own and for those living in houses, check your drain and your rooftop areas, among many other areas for any blockages that may help these bloody (quite literally) pests to breed.

Take care, be safe, not sorry.

Pimples

2005-09-12T01:10:00.000+08:00

The One With Pimples

I have a pimple that has perpetually stuck by me like a sworn brother. It has been with me for weeks and weeks and still counting and yet I still have no idea how to get rid of it. Now, another one seem to have appeared at a very weird part of my body. I use to think that having pimples in my nostrils or my ear lobes were weird enough, but this new area has certainly proved me wrong.

Weekend has been excellent. I had my 1st practical lesson on Friday and it was so damn fun to be riding on a motorbike. It was the exact similar imagination I had. Simply much much better than riding a bicycle for doing that has alot more movements compared to riding a motorbike. All a rider has to do is just to coordinate his/her hand and feet movements with the brake, clutch and throttle. Apparently, my instructor pointed out that my riding was smooth but my only problem was gear switching and my braking techniques. Hopefully, on my next lesson, I'd improve on it. If you ever want to take a class 2B license, please do get your own helmet. I was stupid enough not to buy my own before my 1st lesson and I had to use the ones that the driving centre provided. It was sticky, smelly (very!) and super duper unhygienic. Besides me, there was another coursemate of mine who used the ones there as well and we have already made up our minds to get our own helmet, which I will be doing so tomorrow. And it was just us, the two stupid ones using the centre's helmets.

For that lesson that day, I had to cancel this job stint which Sheryl recommended to our church friends, stating that we only had to work for 10 short minutes and $30 bucks would be ours! How simple is that, and its in Singapore dollars, mind you. I was totally prepared for this job but I forgot all about it when I was booking my 1st practical lesson. I told the lady at the counter that I would be free that Friday morning for a lesson and it was only when I got home, then I did remember. How foolish was I to lose $30 just like that. Because I wasn't going, another friend of mine gave up the chance as well. But on a happier note, my friends Acra and Cheryl got to take over our places.

Wala's was fun that evening with great drinks and excellant company. A note to those below 20, there's an age limit imposed already, so if your not 20 yet, I'm afraid you might not be able to enter. Key word, "patience".

Had a superb time laughing my arse off at this Clementi Interchange coffeeshop with some of the church people and we were talking about some jokes that most of us hadn't heard before. One of us came up with the funniest joke that I've heard in months but it's pretty much a racist joke, so I shall not post it up here. It certainly was fun laughing so hard with a bunch of people you feel comfortable with. I'm sure whatever stress that they had over the week was momentarily taken away that Saturday evening.

Happy Feast Day to one and all at Holycross and to quote Ivan, it certainly was nice to see everyone helping each other out at the stalls and even more commendable were the ones who had exams approaching around the corner, but still took precious time off to stay back in church to help out.

Have a good week. :)

week

2005-09-09T03:07:00.000+08:00

The One With The Week

Oh what a week it has been! With all the plates throwing, meeting up with old friends from BMT, shopping, having hair cuts and catching the movie "Red Eye" (Rachel McAdams is so bloody hot! Too bad she's 28 and I'm 21, but "jie-di lian ai" (older lady & younger man romance) are pretty common right? *winks* anyway, I've always been in favour of being attached to older girls, but that's besides the point) with my dearest sister, rushing to MDIS to pay for my course fees, and registering for my bike license. (yes! like finally..) Pretty much sums up the week that I had and I've some photos to show of the gathering I had with of my old army buddies from BMT and an interesting encounter I had in this restaurant, Esmirada.

It was Victor's birthday last Sunday (040905) and it was just two days after we ORD. I felt that we should have a gathering with the 1st enlistees of our company and should also meet up with our ex-Csm, platoon sergeants and the pioneer batch of sergeants we had. Sadly, only a few of the guys could make it, but we had great fun nevertheless. Trying to organise a gathering like this was so tough, simply because I've not seen most of them for ages and all our schedules clashed, but thankfully those who made it there did their best despite their busy and hectic working life.

I wanted us to have a "Yam-Seng" kind of thing with our beer glasses up in the air, but somehow, it wasn't a wedding dinner so it'd be really weird to shout "Yam-Seng". To start off, I mumbled something like "Erm, let's cheers" and I proceeded by having my glass in the air. Everyone followed suit and with our glasses in the air side by side, there was an unbelievable silence and I said, "Erm, say what ah?"

After much laughing at ourselves, we had the proper cheer, perhaps to a wonderful two years of friendship, close bonds being forged and of course for our birthday boy, Victor.

My section 3, notorious for tons of crimes we've committed in camp together. Thankfully, we were only caught once for all our misdeeds. Most of the time, our ex-sergeants, Junyuan (in yellow) and Guangdao (in black) would be the ones to be giving us chances over and over again.

Myself, Victor and Kay. (Jon couldn't make it to this gathering) Have them to thank for being the ones in camp that lifted me up when my spirits were low, rejoiced in good news together, talked and shared till the wee hours of the morning and being my clubbing buddies. Much fun was done with you guys!

A photo to remember.

Dinner on Tuesday at Esmirada was just simple excellant. Honestly, with the food, I felt like a King! Now, do not be mistaken by how the food's being shown here, for it may seem sloppy for the way it was being presented. Only when you sink your teeth in and appreciate its heavenly taste, will you understand why I said I felt like I was a King. Now, that's for you to spend some money that's simply worthy for the food, the beverages (thankfully for Ewen, he ordered the mango margarita, and I tasted the best mango margarita and and all I can say is, it's a must try!) and the ambience. For the company, you've to select your own for in my case, mine was just splendid.

There was an occasion that was special that Sunday, but I can't remember what was it that John explained to me. Anyway, it involved throwing of plates on the floor and dancing with each other in a line with our arms crossed over each other's shoulders. The music's tempo built up slowly and steadily over the seconds that passed and throwing the plates was an extremely great way to let go of any frustrations you had! A point to note though, don't do this dance on a belly full of food. You've been warned. Heh.

More photos from the picnic we had last Saturday for Friggy's farewell gathering.

journeys

2005-09-04T00:47:00.000+08:00

The One With The Journeys

So begins my journey as a civilian. Well, I know it's not much of a big burger deal to most people, but let's just say it does mean something to those who've went through army before. Probably it's the joy of seeing and holding the civilian I.C and of course, being once again addressed as Mr Adrian Ng. I think it all started when every batch of men that Ord-ed, will proudly hold the precious piece of card in their hands and pat the backs of those who are still in army and say, "Don't worry, your turn will come." So after generations, it has come to terms that once you hold the civilian IC, it's the biggest hoo-haa of the century. From my point of view, I beg to differ. I think the best part of this whole Ord affair is the sweetest taste of freedom. Yes! Freedom!
Can you imagine the shittified feeling of every Sunday evenings when you have to book in back to camp and leave your whole family at home? Cutting yourself away from them, friends outings, chill out times in cafes or pubs simply just want to make you shout "Ord loh!" even sooner or if not, straight away.

The worse transition stage is from a civilian to a recruit in the army. You'd be subjected to countless punishments, zero freedom because every thing you do, you've to ask for permission and the worse thing during my batch was not to have our cellphones with us. We weren't even allowed to bring our sim cards in until a little later. Still, at that moment, without the handset. The agony of lining up and using the public phone booth just honestly, pisses me off. Among many other examples that I would not bother to say, because it's all over. :)

I remember the times when my weekends would be burnt because of some exercises that have to be conducted and I've to not see my friends, my ex and my family for a longer period of time. Which means, if after the exercise, sometimes we'd book out late on that Saturday night or Sunday morning and on Sunday evening itself, we've to be back in camp. So little time but so many things to be done outside. The image of our civilian day of freedom was the only thing that spurred us on to live each day with hope.

Many people have felt that serving in the army's a waste of time and it doesn't help us in our lives. Well, personally, I've never felt that way. It has helped me in many areas of my life tremendously although there is some of the way things are being run in the army that still pisses me off. All in all, it was a great experience being in the army among some of the unhappiness that I've faced in camp. On a positive note, which job that you hold will not give you a roller coaster ride? Be it a bad or good experience, only one thing stays in my mind, "it is all part and parcel of the life that we have to lead". Why not just face it with a positive aspect and in turn, you'd be a joyful person? :)

For the benefit of Mich, who's overseas now, I'd show you the wonderful card that I proudly have safely in my wallet. But before that, I'd have the before army picture with the bored and "I don't want to serve army" face and....

thereafter, the happy smile I'd always wear for the rest of my life because I know, freedom is finally in my hands. :) So ends my journey for the 2 years of National Service. Oh boy am I glad I didn't take the decision to sign on.

For those who used to not believe that my mandarin name was one of the easiest to be written, do you agree with me now? So you should be able to understand now, why I love to adore using "laiguang" so much. Hahaa..

And another journey will begin for Friggy as he would depart for Chicago in the later part of the day for his overseas studies. We spent the morning having a picnic with VC and the event was held in Friggy's honor. He'd always be a friend fondly remembered in our hearts. God bless you always Friggy and in the words you always love to use, "God Love You!"

you

2005-09-02T01:14:00.000+08:00

The One With Those Memories Of You

Do you ever think about me
Do you ever cry yourself to sleep?
In the middle of the night when you awake
Are you calling out for me?
Do you ever reminisce?
I can't believe I'm acting like this
I know it's crazy, how I still can feel your kiss

Chorus

It's been 6 months 8 days 12 hours since you went away
I miss you so much and I don't know what to say
I should be over you I should know better but its just not the case.
It's been 6 months, 8 days, 12 hours since you went away

Do you ever ask about me?
Do your friends still tell u what to do ?
Every time the phone rings
Do you wish it was me calling you?
Do you still feel the same?
Or has time put out the flame?
I miss you
Is everything OK?

Chorus

It's hard enough just passing the time
When I can't seem to get you off my mind
And where is the good in goodbye?
Tell me why, Tell me why

-- Brian Mcknight -- "6 Months, 8 Days, 12 Hours"

Time has flown by easily in 6 months and 8 days and a song that aptly applies lives in me. Perhaps it's time to no longer keep looking back, perhaps.

Coincidently, today's the day that I'd be collecting my pink IC. Shall do that in about 10 hours from now and the worse thing's to go back in our Number 4 uniform. What "better" way to mark the last day of our National Service and thankfully, it is the last orders that we'd receive.
Can't wait. :)

2005-08-28T22:15:00.000+08:00

The One With The Controversy Of Matters

Started the day terribly and it was on the way to church. I use to think that after being a whole lot older than I was, I would stop having problems with my parents. Well, I now know how wrong I am. At that point of time, even after the super heated argument, I don't have any feelings of resentment nor unhappiness with them, because after all they are my parents and the movie that I've watched this afternoon further increase the love I have on them. As long as your living under one roof, problems never cease to come. How well you avoid it, or even how you prevent it will perhaps be of another story.

I know I've wanted to own a motorbike ever since I've reached the legal age to ride one and I know it has been a 3 year wait for me to finally embark on that decision. Turned 18, I've raised this up to my parents before and what I've got was a strict "NO". I was kindly asked to wait till after I've completed my National Service and until I've turned 21. Simple reasons they've put across are that by then I would be mature enough and know not to speed on the road, while thinking of my family responsibilities and of course my beloved friends. In this life that we lead, can we for certain say that any elements of danger would not befall on us? I mean, as long as accidents happen, it happens right? If not why do people invent the word "accidents"? Today, I felt that I was being lied to all this time and brought about a big long circle before it was still a big "NO".

Have I, waited in vain for 3 years? I was much richer when I was 18 than I am now and I could afford to even take my driving cum riding lessons and even buy a bike. What's not a problem when you hold a regular part time job that pays you so well? Why didn't I, like most of my friends, just go ahead despite what our parents tell us? Why didn't I dare to defy my parents? All these angry thoughts raced through my mind and I was turned into a selfish, uncaring and unreasonable child. This morning, as we exchanged heated words in the coffeeshop at clementi interchange during our breakfast, I bit my lips and told myself I should have just went ahead and did what I wanted to do and why should I respect them so much? After all, I'm being lied to at this moment in time and to put it across uglily, I was cheated and tricked. I felt that way because I knew after my National Service, I would need a job to make ends meet and being 21, who in the right frame of mind would still take pocket money from his parents? I've hands and legs so will holding a job be of any problem? I don't see a problem at all. I wanted to work for a year to earn my own keep and finance myself when I start studying. But no, what my parents asked me to do was to go ahead with my studies while they settle all my financial needs. And now, after registration and confirmation from MDIS, I raised the topic of riding a bike and still a big bloody "NO". Why?

1. No Money.
2. Too Dangerous.

It has been a long while since we've argued and all these months, I've always always tried to be understanding towards them. They asked me to stop clubbing. I did. They asked me to start studying. I did. Of course, among other things but it would be senseless to list all of them down. As I slammed the door of the car and cursed under my breathe and walked towards church to attend mass, only 2 things went cross my mind.

1. How the hell am I going to work part time, raise the cash and get my own bike and study at the same time? I would be too tired and I needed all the time I have in this world to concentrate solely on my studies.

2. In this present state of being filled with immerse anger, how am I going to lead praise and worship? Most importantly of all, how am I going to attend mass and receive Holy Communion?

While walking, I saw Ben and I couldn't understand why but instantly I felt much better. Moving into church, I saw Ivan, Eugene and some others and we begun to chat. My mood changed from really bitter and angry to a sudden happiness and calmness. I was pretty surprised at myself and I thought "wow, God is really something". He manage to swiftly calm me down after I see people that I care about and this was only the 1st sign out of many he gave in the day.
I thought I would feel awkward if I were to see my parents when I walked into the pews where we would usually sit. After all, we shouted like no body's business in the car just 10 minuntes before mass started and any feelings of animosity that I have towards them should still be burning strong, but nope. Non of it I felt.

The homily brought even a greater sign that I should be at peace with my parents. One thing I remembered the Priest saying was that misunderstandings between children and parents are bound to happen. And I had a case to speak of that very morning itself. Should I just quit being a baby and try to fit myself into my parents shoes to see how tough it is being a parent? Mass went on as usual and I bade my parents farewell as they left for my granny's.

Honestly, I was in a pretty little bit of a lost and I knew for sure I will screw things up during the session. As I start seeing more friends in church, I felt lighter and lighter and I thought to myself, "Now is the time to forget about what happened this morning. I have more important things to worry and do and yes, make sure the session won't be screwed up because of my own personal problems." I enjoyed the music that our musicians played and I enjoyed the intensity of the exaltation songs. I enjoyed the way we did the worship as a group and I enjoyed singing at the top of my lungs. Praying over wasn't what I needed. What I needed was to sing and sing and sing all my frustrations away. It worked a 100%. :) Personally, the session was the 2nd last step I took before I decided to reconcile with my parents.

Caught the movie, "March of the Penguins" and initially it was a super duper boring movie. It didn't help that I was in a comfortable chair with air con blowing in my face and a belly full of lunch. Who wouldn't fall asleep? But the very moment the egg hatched and with just the image of a baby penguin on the screen erased away my boredom and I continued watching. For those who haven't seen it, I wouldn't spoil the fun for you but all I can say is that if all your life you've been taking your parents for granted and don't know how to understand them or love them, perhaps you should catch this movie. You'd then know what I mean.

Once out of the theatre, the 1st thing I did was to sms my parents with these simple words of "Mum and Dad, I'm sorry about this morning." We conversed a little on the phone about my dinner and whereabouts and they sounded fine and I am happy that they were.

As for the matter of my riding a bike, I guess it shall remain as an unspoken topic for the next few days until perhaps we are all ready. But this time, I will know that I will control myself and not just shoot out words that might hurt them.

2005-08-27T21:50:00.000+08:00

The One With A Random Entry

Got a letter from MDIS. They stated that I've been accepted into their course. Thank God for that. :) Finally, I can be a student again and really have something to do.

Had music practice today and we had a new song, "Till I See You" from Hillsongs. Everyone felt that it was a great song and that it applied very well into our lives. We all have the writers of this song and their music ministry for making it such a meaningful song for us to learn. I certainly hope this song will touch the hearts of all our participants attending YA! tomorrow.

One more thing to be thankful for. I had a fever last night after coming home from shopping with Damien, Ewen, Mark and Fel and I think it could have been a mild virus or something. But I've recovered during the night itself and I was able to go for music practice today. Usually, fevers would take 2 or 3 days to subside, but mine was within an evening. If I wasn't well, I doubt I'd have the energy to leave my home today. I sure hope that this fever would not escalate either tonight or tomorrow. And I hope it's not a dengue fever case. For one of the signs are on and off fever temparatures.

Many changes are happening right now and it's all different from the past. With maturity, understanding and hope, everything will be taken care of. HE will make a way for you, for me, for all of us.

2005-08-23T23:32:00.000+08:00

The One With A Fulfilling Day

Yet another entry that would be spoken of the children I met at Bedok Green Primary School. They were needless to say, adorable, noisy, playful, funny, innocent and so so so cute! I'm there to help a friend in teaching the Primary Ones to learn the basic way of typing. Today's experience was enriching. I now know why many people are turning to teaching. It's probably the immerse joy of seeing the smile of the children, their eyes that sparkled upon learning a new information, their mindless laughter and the way they'd fight for your attention. I saw their desire to learn something new and the competitive mood to outdo each other in a task given. Oh yes, it's pretty tiring to ask them to sit down and refrain from running around the computer lab. There's one thing I don't understand, why don't they address me as Mr Ng or Mr Adrian? That's what the main teacher told them to do. But they insist on calling me Uncle. I wonder what children will call me when I hit 25. Ah Pek? I'm still very very young. 21 is nothing at all, heh.

I've been waking up early almost everyday now and my early means 6am-9am. Yes, I do realise that the whole world wakes up at this time and I'm considered lazy, but come on, how often do you get to use this term clear leave in your life? I should be like waking up at 11am-1pm and slack around at home, doing nothing productive. Haha, now, that's lazy I know. But these few days has been meeting up with friends, running errands and probably enjoying the peacefulness of being relaxed. This is even better than having a school holiday, because during the holidays, a student would have to constantly do revision, so as not to be rusty in the brain. Maybe I should start keeping fit soon, clear my cupboard of my old textbooks, old notes from school, help my mother and sister in keeping the house clean, since I'm home most of the time and probably do some reading on mass communications. Not forgetting also, my basic theory. Ah yes, the joys of traveling alone on 2 or 4 wheels. The thought of being not able to squeeze bodies with the people in the train and in buses and avoiding the expensive cab fares anymore, increases my anticipation to complete my driving and riding lessons.

I was pretty tired by the time I came home from the Primary School and I was suppose to leave my home at 3.30pm and reach camp by 5pm for the function that I've to attend when I've only got home at 2.45pm. I thought I'd just take half an hour's of nap, but I was too tired and slept till 3.45pm. That was a heavy price to pay, because I had to take a cab down and that cost me 20+ bucks. Now, I'm really as poor as a beggar. The food at the function was really good. We even had fried ice-cream that I'm kicking myself for not trying, oysters that I simple adore and had more than 5, no.. Ok 6. Alright, alright, 8. Haha. Mark and Bryan are back from Germany and it's with God's grace that they had a safe trip in all. It was really nice of Mark to call and ask if I needed to get any liquor from the Duty Free shop at the airport for my sister's wedding. My sis, my bro-in-law are indeed very appreciative of Mark's kind gestures. Coincidently, Friggy was bringing the 2 of them and Fel to Jurong Point to have dinner. Met them after my function ended and accompanied Friggy as he sent them home. Bryan has the ultra coolest apartment ever. I've heard of lifts that open to the door of your apartments but I've never come across any through any of my friends' and Bryan's apartment was the 1st I've encountered. I felt really "sua koo"ed. Benefit of those who don't understand, it's a direct translation for, "mountain tortoise" which also means a person who haven't seen much of the world.

I'm thankful I've nothing on in the morning. Time to sleep in late yet again. :)

2005-08-22T22:50:00.000+08:00

The One With Little Elijah

Children are such darlings don't you think? At least I know little Elijah is. He's a cute, playful and hyperactive kid I saw on my way home in the train today. You know the way some of us would sit in the train slouching and stretching out both legs and crossing them at the ankle areas? Yeah, so this guy did that and cute little Elijah purposely walked over that man's legs and proceeded to do a "I'm a thief" act. He was trying to tip toe and move with such tenacity and tried to show the whole world that he could be as quiet as he could be without waking the man. Little did he know, that the man was already awake and he actually let Elijah do what he wanted to do. Needless to say Elijah's mum chided him and he was like saying "I'm not naughty, I'm not naughty. Heehee, mummy I love you.." And he kept kissing his mum on her cheeks! It's like he was trying to say he is sorry or something.
From the reflection, I saw that he pointed at me and said, "Mummy, why he's hair like that one?" Almost instantly, I didn't know whether to smile, be wide-eyed or just look at him. So I did all of the above. I was so bowled over by his plain innocence, the spark of curiosity, and the fact that my hair looked really weird and funny to him.
He noticed my eyes shifting to him and he gave an embarrassed look. I proceeded to ask his name and all I can remember was Elijah out of his full name that he gave. I didn't really share much of a conversation with him but carried on asking "How old are you?" Well, you know, those questions you would ask little children. I stretched out my hand for a handshake from him and he was so shy! haha. All I can say is, he brightened up the day that I had.
Best part of this story, he made me smile at his cuteness and sillyness.
Worst part of this story, he bade me goodbye and called me "UNCLE!!"
Now, I don't look that old I'm sure. Maybe kids should all learn to call everyone with black hair, "korkor" or "jiejie". Heh.

I've finally registered for my course in MDIS today. Will be taking mass communications. Stacie and Adeline Kuah, do you see this? Better tutor me if I need help. Haha. Didn't manage to sign up the army half marathon already cause I found out that my Dad didn't like the idea of me joining it. He felt that I've just recovered and I shouldn't be over-straining myself. I guess he's got a point there as well. Ran with Mich and Friggy on two occasions and they are really good runners. They have this endurance that I don't possess. If I were to run the similar route that we covered on my own, I would never have completed it. It was the motivation from them, that kept me going. Sadly, Mich will be busy with school, Ivan with work and Friggy will be leaving.

Sent Marilyn off at the Airport this morning and it pretty sad to see a friend leaving, even if it's just a couple of months. Coincidently, I saw two of my childhood swimming buddies, Xianyi and Andy. They were on the same Exchange Program with Marilyn! Talk about Singapore being a small little dot! Hope they have a safe trip there and if I'm not mistaken, they should still be on the plane right now.
Caught The Maid with Eugene today and I must say it wasn't as scary as most people said it was. The anticipation level of scary-ness is so low. And it wasn't gory or anything. Story line was very so-so and it was pretty weird to see that people who lived in super old shophouses could afford to hire a maid. But I found some of the infomation that they gave were pretty valuable to me. Though I don't and I shouldn't be believing in the 7th month. The only thing that made me ponder for a little bit was the last part when they wrote that in the 7th month, "Vengeful" spirits would come out to seek justice. Can revenge be done at all? I always felt that justice always has the longest arms. I think spirits should understand that one fine day, their killer/s would face punishments that will duely be meted out for them.

I'm very excited with the new idea of our YA! noticeboard. Many suggestions have came up and I'm so glad I didn't do the noticeboard over that week that I've mentioned before. Because, I'm a million percent certain that if I were the only one doing this, my only effort of suggestions will never be as wonderful and idea-filled like the meeting we had after YA! last Sunday. Looks set that our noticeboard will really depict the joys and the powerful growth of YA! over the years. The never ending thirst of wanting to know more about our Lord and experiencing the uncountable amount of love he's showered on us all these years has been kept alive in each and every one of us.

On a separate note, I've someone special to thank for inculcating in me, my very 1st baby steps to being interested in being a charismatic youth and to explore my deep passion for praise and worship. And that's you Uncle Freddie. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

life

2005-08-17T13:34:00.000+08:00

The One With A Seemingly New Life

The future looks all set and exciting to embark. I've my licenses to take, my hobbies to venture, new friendships to be made, old friendships to be nurtured, some farewells to be said to close friends, back to keeping fit (haven't you notice the bulge on my tummy?!?!) and some me time to myself.

I've begged my parents for 3 years to allow me to take my bike license and finally after much persuading, they've finally relented. I think everything in life has its own elements of danger. It doesn't mean that when your on two wheels, you'd be so vulnerable to the dangers of traffic. I've always believed that God has mapped out our lives for us and only he knows what our next steps are. Even us contemplating on decisions are his plans for us.

I'm still trying to reach a decision with whether I should go down to Kallang to meet up with the Seahawk guys. My only misgivings are to miss out on attending YA.
Friggy gave a very moving homily last sunday and try as hard as I might, I was unable to control the tears that rolled down my cheeks. I was sad, yes. The grief of not being able to see a true friend for the next 2 years crushes me. I would miss not seeing him in church, talking to us, laughing with us, long talks with him, dinner and lunch outings with him, him shouting our names upon seeing us from afar and his infectious laughter. Images that would show us in a few weeks time seeing him off at the airport flashed across my mind made my tears rolled faster for I see that many many tears would be wept for this dear friend of ours. For these 3 years, he's been a darling priest, a wonderful fatherly figure and an extremly great friend to have. Everyone who knows Friggy will share this testimonial with me. I've never met anyone like him before and he's truly what I've always described him to be; one in a million. He goes out of his way to be there for you and offers advices you would never see coming. He has touched thousands and thousands from the Parish of Holycross with his powerful homilies and the deep meanings behind each. The youths of Holycross have every reason to be thankful for Friggy's hardwork and dedication to bring all the various ministries together, cause without that act, where would we have such a wonderful family?

Being alone at home with nothing much to do isn't that scary at all, contrary to how most feels. Soaking up the feeling of being alone with oneself and reconnecting with all your thoughts is one my ways to relax. Swimming helps when all you've got are your trunks, goggles, buoy and of course, the pool. Each time I make a stroke, I try to concentrate on the proper propelling of my handstrokes and always trying to make sure whenever I resurface for air, my ears will not be stuck with the darn water.

I'm excited with the studies I'd be undertaking, hopefully this time, I'd not do badly like how I've always did in Secondary School. I won't say I'm stupid, but perhaps much more lazy to sit and study.

It's time to unpack the stuffs I've brought back from camp yesterday and also time to grab some chow.

2005-08-15T23:16:00.000+08:00

The One With The Hobby

I HAVE to blog about this. I was just mentioning a few days back that I might want to take up Dragon-Boating as a hobby. Well, I'm interested in this sport because it promotes team spirit and I get to be in the sun, with the sand and most surely, the sea. Well, not that other sports don't promote team spirit, but I feel that dragon boating has to be the most rewarding. Have always been thinking about joining canoeing in the past because, there wasn't dragon boating in secondary school but I was already in Ncc and begun working straight after I completed my studies before enlisting into the Army. Now that I'm gonna be out, I think I should look forward to this hobby.

As I was saying, I was just mentioning about that a few days back in my blog and right now, I'm still in the midst of the decision making and while doing so, called up my ex senior from secondary school. He's in NTU dragon boating now and I thought I could turn to him for some suggestions on who I can look for to take up this sport. He suggested I try the National Team. I was like "woah..". In my mind, I knew I could never take on that heavy commitment to be in the National Team because I've to have my commitments in church and I don't wanna leave my church friends again. If your in a church group somewhere outside Holycross' VC or in any organization that has a close knitted bond with your friends, so much so that it feels certainly like family, then you would understand that it's hard to give them up. Especially so if you've left them before. God doesn't just give you these people to love and who, in turn loves you back. He gives you these wonderful people to be by your side all the time and I would love to hope that this friendship that we share would be something so precious even till the day we grow old. Playing golf someday with each other and with our spouses or children following behind. Going away on holidays to soak up nature. Well, it's not a dream really, it's something I hope will happen one day because I'm sure friends that you find in church can be people that you will consider family even in your darkest times of needs.

So anyway, I got to speak to the captain of the National Dragon Boat Team and he told me that they are currently going through rigorous training for the Sea-Games and it takes them to a 5 day training week. I was told that if I join them, I might even have to consider training on Sundays which I can't afford. Honestly, I was sadden by that news and I knew that I could never compromise my time in church on Sundays for training with the National Team. Something in my heart tells me that if I were to take it up, I will surely have to give up going to church on Sundays and it's not the Mass that I'm unwillingly to give up, but the sessions we have during YA. Because I can still attend Masses on other given times like on Saturday or Sunday evenings. Going back to point number one, when at the starting of this blog entry, I wrote, "I HAVE to blog about this," is because when I've already started to give up the idea of joining the team when earlier in the evening, I was at my kitchen window looking out and I saw this car alighting 3 passengers and guess what they took with them? Paddles! I instantly recognize that they were dragon boat paddles and they were like discussing something.

My mind raced and I kept thinking, is this coincidence or just a sign from God? I mean, I've seen hockey sticks, cricket sticks, basketballs and soccer balls and other what nots that you use in sports. Not to mention, I've even seen canoeing paddles out in public, but I've never seen a dragon boat paddle in public (not exaggerating here), except on the internet and God had to choose this time (such close proximity to my decision making) for me to see them. And like, they were not in a rush to leave, they were talking and discussing about their paddles and as if God was telling me that he's trying to stall time for me to decide whether or not I should go down to have a chat with them and ask them about any queries that I may have. While deciding, I recognize one of those guys! He's a Captain in one of the 3rd division units because I remember seeing him in our Inter Division Swim Meet and Track/Field Meet. Talk about coincidence!

In my mind, it was a "I have to, I have to, I know I have to". So I grabbed my keys to my sis' and bro-in-law's suprise and dashed down. Spoke to them and one of them introduced himself as Steven from Seahawk Sports Club. I told him about my deep commitments to church and he says he understands and that we can even work out a win-win situation. And they are not in the Nationals levels as well, so I guess training would not be that frequent as compared to the National Team. We exchanged numbers and I hope something will work out from here.

Watched The Island and had lunch with Marilyn today. It certainly was a good movie and many thanks to Ewen for introducing an excellent movie. Wishing Marilyn all the best in her exchange program in Canada and see you back here in our sunny island this coming January. God bless.

2005-08-14T20:41:00.000+08:00

The One With Till I See You

Till I See You

The greatest love that anyone could ever know
That overcame the cross and grave to find my soul
And till I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in You
With all I am I'll live to see Your kingdom come
And in my heart I pray You'd let Your will be done
And till I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in You

CHORUS
I will live to love You
I will live to bring You praise
I will live a child in awe of You

You are a voice that called the universe to be
You are the whisper in my heart that speaks to me
And till I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in you

BRIDGE
You alone are God of all
You alone are worthy Lord
And with all I am my soul will bless Your name

A lovely song from Hillsong United - Till I See You. Thank you Purse, for introducing this song to me, I think it's really nice.

new link

2005-08-14T07:25:00.000+08:00

The One With The Dream

Hey all, how's the weekend? Had my right side wisdom teeth taken out on Friday, both the upper and lower sockets. Doing rather well right now, much better than the right side months ago. And when I meant better, there's lesser bleeding and lesser pain. The injections were horrifying though. Hurray to this ordeal being taken care of. :)

Had this dream the night before and it's a mixture of me being a law enforcer and car chases. I think it's because I played too much of Grand Theft Auto. Anyway, I was 21 in the dream and I died! Just like that. Yes, dying may not be very big a deal but have you ever wondered what will happen if you were to die so suddenly? There are many things not done, your piety to your parents, your big dreams to study and work, the friends that you have.

In this particular part of the dream I woke up crying and I felt really shaken and upset. Instead of being cremated, I was buried instead, but somehow I wasn't prepared to go and sort of "woke" up from my coffin. Needless to say, everyone was shocked, but I wasn't bothered by that. I stood up, walked around a little bit and searched for something, or that particular someone. And I shouted, "Mummy!!" Yes, I now realise that I'm not able to let my mother or father go. There were so many things that I wanted to tell them and I was struck with such grief that upon finding them, I fell to my knees and instantly hugged them. I told them that I was not a filial child, having to be the one going off first and that I regretted every moment in my life that I argued or bickered with them. I regretted mostly at the point that I was unable to take care of them for the rest of their lives.

I know of many friends who have problems with their parents and that they are unable to bring down the wall between their parents and themselves. But we all know one fact, is that the only thing that bind us all together is this indescribable love for our parents. Our parents are of many years our seniors and it's hard to understand what they expect sometimes, but I think it'd be nice if we could be understanding and just try to listen to them as much as we can. After all, who was the one who gave us this beautiful life, for us to experience so many wonderful things? Food on the table, clothes, a living condition, and most importantly, unconditional love.

Met our new confirmand, Ben, John and Ewen for dinner at Cine on Sat and Jaq and Benjamin joined us shortly after. Accompanied Victor and the rest to Momo Club and queued with them but I didn't go in. Endured the temptation of clubbing. Come'on, a pat on my back please? Haha..

Oh yes, Bon Voyage to Leonora, who would be in Denmark for an exchange program and to Mark and Bryan for World Youth Day in Germany where they'd meet our Pope and have events organised for them. Marilyn's leaving for Canada too.. Sigh, everyone's leaving and Miss Tan is not coming back soon as well. She might be staying in Aussie for an extended period of time for her studies. Eun and Yali are there as well and though Johan is back from US, he'd be going back next Friday and Adrian's still in Singapore, probably going to Malaysia end of this year only, not to study haha but for pleasure and entertainment sake at the beaches with Tzerong and some others.

Have a good Sunday. :)

Goals

2005-08-10T22:51:00.000+08:00

The One With Goals

Today reminds me of those days when I had my long term of MC. Slept late the night before and woke up only when I felt like it. Such a holiday mood, simply because today's my Off day from the NDP celebrations. Have to clear my Offs and Leaves right now cause if I don't, I won't have any days left to clear them by the 2nd of Sept.

Met up with John, Sze and Fifi for lunch at this Boat Restaurant in Shaw Towers and we caught "7 Swords" after that. Not bad a movie, catch it if you can.

Tonight is Wednesday and I've just got my pay. I'm so tempted to be at Mambo tonight. Army friends are clubbing at Chinablack already and they've asked me earlier if I wanted to join them. Having mixed feelings about not going, but I think it's probably a good thing not to go cause I did say I wanted to quit clubbing. Spoke to Vivian this evening and I was telling her I might want to pick up Dragon Boating after Army ends. Do you think it's a good idea? Cause I'm not sure if it'd clash with my commitments in church. And if it does, I might probably drop this new hobby that I hope to cultivate.

Have a friend in the Army that I knew since secondary school and he's a hard-core gangster. Has always given the teachers problems with his school work and conduct. Even after school ended for us, he was still up to his old ways, being naughty outside. But he has a good heart in him, always helping those that needed help in camp though he's always mischievious. Was talking to him after the NDP celebrations and we talked abit about our future. He told me that he didn't really know what he wanted to do. My impending advice that I've been giving him since school was to stop being a gangster and just concentrate on leading a real life. For we aren't that young anymore and it's certainly time for us to be providing for our parents soon. And when we need to have a family of our own, we would need a home and with the daily expenses, one would need a proper, secured job to make ends meet. Not to mention, have a comfortable life. It brought to mind that I'm already 21 this year and all my friends are steady in their studies, in the Universities pursuing their degrees. I use to think that having a paper qualification is not important as long as one is willing to work hard in the area of his day to day work.

I use to feel that I shouldn't follow what others do and go the mundane route of life. I would even joke with friends and tell them that I would want to set up a Fish-ball noodle shop with them and we'd open chains all around Singapore. Or sometimes, I would want to be a swimming instructor and that doesn't require an intellectual qualification, just the skill to swim and be an instructor willing to teach the young and old the art of swimming. But honestly, there's no proper direction in that cause let's face it, Sports in Singapore would not make big money. I'm not being materialistic, but just realistic. Who wouldn't dream of having a comfortable home and earning as much money as you can to buy what you desire?

I would also dream of being a counsellor or be with the CNB/Police Force. And all these need paper qualifications. Where will I go and what would I have if I'm just stuck with what I have? I believe it's not too late to work hard right now and I agree that I'm a slow learner but perseverence is the key to success, don't you think?

I want to get a group of people interested in helping out in old folks homes or homes for the needy. Those game for this idea, please contact me. We can spend a little time off our Saturdays to visit and help out in these homes.

FOP

2005-08-07T00:54:00.000+08:00

The One With The Unsettled Thoughts

The week was great, cause finally I know I'd be able to spend the rest of the weeks of my life not worrying so much about going back to camp as I will be clearing my leave.

Went to the Festival of Praise (FOP) with VC and I felt that the whole event was pretty lousy for me. Perhaps I was too tired and I didn't concentrate on my spiritual state of mind. One thing I took note of was that almost more than 90% of us didn't lift our hands in praise during the worship session, unlike the rest of the stadium. The rest might have their personal reasons, I didn't ask them why. But I felt that for me, the difference between attending praise and worship there and in church was the people surrounding me. Now, I'm not talking about my VC friends, but of the rest of the people in the stadium. I could almost be certain, there were so many people from Christian Churches and their way of praising was so different with the way we did. It was also because when I'm in my own church or having retreats in other places attending praise and worship, the intimacy level of spiritual state that I was in, was totally different from when I attended FOP earlier. I kept asking myself why on the train ride home. Till now, I still could not reach an answer.

In church, during heavy worship sessions, sometimes I'd pray for others. But today, when this elderly man started to initiate praying with with me, I was just stoned. I felt that I wasn't even feeling the Holy Spirit. Truth is, I wouldn't even want to try. In my mind, I have this strong reject of feelings against other Christian denominations and I feel that most of their teachings and pastor preachings are a whole load of crap. Yes, I do admit I shouldn't be slamming the Christians for I am also a Catholic myself, which is one of the denominations by the way, but I feel this way is solely because these Protestants always love and find great joy in questioning us about our faith, and sometimes I couldn't find any answers to reply them. It makes me think, am I weak about my own faith? Or is it because they talk so much crap that most of the things they say are not even from the Bible? Probably. So yes, I feel that they talk a whole truckload of nonsense. Why Protestants? Well, it comes from the word Protest and what the hell are they protesting from? Jesus' initial teachings to us that they have distorted? Own views that they have come out with over all these years? They value the Holy Bible alot and if you throw any verse headings to them, you'd be amazed and struck with such great awe that almost the whole time, they can actually find that verse for you from the Bible with the snap of a finger or even recite it without referring sometimes. Yeah, I know I'm not well versed in the Bible and as a Catholic, I'm ashamed of myself. But because of these Protestants who go from door to door, trying to sell the Christian values to atheists that makes these people hate us so much. I know for sure Catholics are not asked to do this kind of thing. We are asked to convert our friends who are willing to be part of Christ's family and not force them. Imagine if you yourself is seating comfortably in your home with the joy and love of the family watching a favorite TV show and some Muslim, Hindi or Buddhist comes knocking at your door and asking you to embrace their religion and forsake yours, and telling you if you don't believe in their teachings, ultimately when you die, your spirit goes to hell? No, these religions don't do that, but Protestants do! Crazy shit isn't it? Even if it is a fact of not, you won't crazily go around telling people that. It spooks out a non believer of Christ and they in turn will lump Catholics alike to these crazy Protestants and we'd be misunderstood. I don't mind if we are misunderstood for certain things, but I hate it when we are jumbled up in this manner. There is a cause to convert as many people as we can because there is truth in why Jesus died for us and in him doing so, gives us salvation through the Holy Cross and his Resurrection. There are ways to help as many people as we can, but frown upon is the Protestants' choice of ways. Some hang around shopping centres and MRT stations to evangelise and these are the kind of people who some Singaporeans love to avoid, ie; donation cans holders, questionnaires form holders. I'm not saying it is wrong to try to convert others, but you have to understand the realities of the present day life. Many are filled with countless things on their minds and if they are pestered about something they do not want to think about for the moment, they'd form a feeling of wanting to avoid anyone who calls themself a Christian. A note to take, some people only. Not all.

I don't know if they feel it, but the mask that they wear is even thicker than ours. If there's one thing that I'm certain and not be afraid to be challenged is the fact that most of their pastors like to go on and on and on about the achievements that they have made for themselves and their community. And some of the stories that they tell, really are ridiculous. One can't help but feel baffled sometimes.

There was this part that increasingly frustrated me as the seconds ticked away was when during the praise and worship session, the main leader purposely gave a few moments dedicated to the individual musicians for their area of talent. Not that I don't see a point in honoring the musicians for their hard work, cause if I were at any live bands like for instance, Wala-wala on a Friday night and they do that, I could understand why, cause we are there for their excellent music and we are just there to soak up the lively atmosphere and just slack around with our drinks. But FOP is afterall the festival of praise and not the festival of musicians. If a praise and worship leader at any point focuses on their musicians during the praise and worship, isn't it for them a moment to praise themselves and for personal glory and not solely devote that session to God? If they do that after the session, I'd understand.

A few of our girls excused themselves to the ladies but found themselves not allowed to be back to their seats during the preaching of the guest speaker. I found that pretty much of a double standard because from where I sat, I could see people walking up and down the lanes and if it was so important for my friends to show the pastor "respect" during his preaching, and not be allowed to return to their seats, how could the other ushers allow the rest of the public to do likewise? In my opinion, I don't give a good damn if we have to respect what the pastor says or not. If the usher had said this, "to give respect to God's word", probably I wouldn't even bother to pen this down. They emphasize so much on the person giving the words, but none of any concern at all given to our Lord for delivering the words to us. We, are afterall only God's instruments. It is ridiculous and ungentlemanly for the ushers to expect ladies to stand during a long "respected" preaching. Why are seats intended for people during talks, seminars, exams, etc? Sole purpose if you ask me, is just to provide our butts with comfort and when your comfortable, you can listen or write at ease. Now, with people standing, and when they fidget about with sore muscles, how can they listen with ease to the pastor or whoever for that matter?

You may have your own views, cause afterall, it's to each his/her own. If not, why would there be so many denominations? It's because men cannot stay with the ultimate 1st form of Christ's teachings where he stood his ground and proclaimed us as Catholics. I can't exactly say what this entry is really about, for I'm just typing down anything that comes to my mind. Maybe, it is the feeling of reproach against these Protestants for making me feel so misunderstood among certain people outside of church when religion comes to the topic. There's a thing I should learn, is that Jesus was misunderstood till the day He suffered and died for us. And if I call myself a Catholic, I have to try very hard to disengage myself from being too selfish in my own right and being too individualistic. To possess the understanding of the acceptance of being misunderstood by others and to be understanding of our Protestant friends. Perhaps, they have their own teachings and beliefs and this struggle for me to understand what they are trying to do will always be a wall between me and them. Hopefully, one day I can get the answer as to why this feeling of animosity between Protestants and Catholics are forever present.

2005-07-30T23:22:00.000+08:00

The One With Ronan

Yes, its Ronan, not Roman, and it's Ronan Keating; the excellent singer of all time. I never had an idol nor want to have one at all. Truth be told, I just admire how some singers sing their songs and with the lyrics that are sung. It makes perfect and beautiful sense in some of the words. Would love to share with you this song that I'm putting on repeat on my player because somehow, it has hit me with its words. I'm only human and yes, I do miss you. Yeah, I don't usually blog about my love life because there isn't any to talk about also. This song just makes me feel so relaxed after a hard day's of work.

Ronan Keating - "The Long Goodbye"

I know they say if you love somebody you should set them free (so they say),
But it sure is hard to do, yeah, it sure is hard to do.
And I know they say if they don't come back again then it's meant to be (so they say),
But those words ain't pulling me through coz I'm still in love with you.
I spend each day here waiting for a miracle,
But it's just you and me going through the mill (climbing up a hill).

(Chorus)
This is the long goodbye, somebody tell me why two lovers in love can't make it,
Just what kind of love keeps breaking a heart?
No matter how hard I try, you're gonna make me cry,
Come on, baby, it's over, let's face it,
All that's happening here is a long goodbye.

Sometimes I ask my heart did we really give our love a chance (just one more chance),
And I know without a doubt, I turned it inside out.
And if we walked away would make more sense (only self defense),
But it tears me up inside, just to think we still could try.
How long must we keep riding on a carousel,
Going round and round and never getting anywhere (on a wing and prayer).

Chorus x 2

The long goodbye, the long goodbye, this is the long goodbye.
Someone please tell me why.
Are you ever coming back again?
Are you ever coming back again?
Are you ever coming back again?
Guess I'm never coming back again.

I do hope you like the song. Absolutely fantastic isn't it? On a different topic altogether, I was at the Padang today for the NDP preview and yeah my cheap thrill was having my very own NDP pass for me to walk around like a King, well not exactly, just that place I'm allowed to be around. My company worked our arses off today and the most most most most tiring part was when our fun packs were not enough at our station. Platoon 6 and some other company helped out in bringing us the reinforcements and it was seriously seriously tough carrying those bags in heaps and walking a whole lot of distance. Well, you know I haven't really run for 3 months, so to be running around today, made me feel good physically but I was shagged out so easily after running errands and transferring stuffs to and fro. The worse part was that it rained heavily before the parade and my shoes were soaking wet. Mud was all around my favorite jeans and I perspired like a running tap. Nevermind that my shoes were wet, nevermind that I perspired, but what caused me to feel moody was the very fact that my lovely jeans were so dirty and my foot rot with the soaked socks made me feel so bloody uncomfortable. How I wish I had (no, not my favorite dish of mushroom mince pork noodles right in front of me, no, not my room and my aircon, no, not my trunks and my goggles and my swimming pool, and no, not my all time hobby, watching movie but was to have) my SLIPPERS! Foot rot pisses me off like anything and it gets on my nerves when I cant wear shoes on Sundays to church but my sandals. Was suppose to meet Joan earlier but because of circumstances, we didn't and Joan, I brought you a drink when you told me you were thirsty, so you owe me one. haha. Kidding. :)

Ok, forget about that sad episode, take it that Adrian's just whining. Like what I told Ann in my message to her, "it was a tiring but fulfilling day" and indeed it was. It was fun talking with the public, telling them where to head to next. It reminded me of the time Bravo company was tasked to set up barricades for the Army Half Marathon. Baillie and I got a chance to be bouncers for the evening, to ward off the public and not let them leave before the fireworks are done. Simple English, just understand that the higher ups are concerned for your safety and that they hope the fireworks will not hit you and cause an accident, so why can't the public just understand this and wait a little while longer before leaving? In defense for the people who have prepared months and toiled under the hot sun just to make the previews, NE shows and actual day a pleasant enjoyment for you public, the least.. the very very least you could do is just to stay for a little while more rather than worry about the packed transport home. Come on, if you worry so much, then don't come (lah!!). Might as well just stay at home and watch the Live Show on the 9th August.

Rules and regulations happen everywhere you go. Even in the toilet, you do know you have to flush or leave the toilet seat up or down. Yeah, just a pointless roll eyes analogy but I'm trying to put across that if we cannot let you pass a certain area and you have to make a detour, then just do it damn it! Like you are the ONLY people who wanna go home to a nice hot bathe and a cosy bed. Eh like hello, you came only in the evening. What about those who came like so early in the morning, just to make this day proper for you? Singapore's not like a billion miles to travel for a detour, so walk abit will die is it?

Last frustration to mention, I know you are tired, and we all are. What the hell makes you think your the only one who wants to rush home? He has a right to brief us on whatever the CO tells him to pass down to us. Even if you don't believe it, just listen. You are in the army for 2 damn years and just because you are gonna ORD soon means you can be rude to your CSM? Be humble you arse and don't think only for yourself. Even if it makes you so "heroic" to be voicing out the question on everybody's mind. But the difference is, we know the word respect cause our parents taught us that and we learn that in school and in the army. So apparently, you've learnt nothing on patience and gratitude for the kind words others have to say.

forgive.

2005-07-29T22:27:00.000+08:00

The One With The Unwillingness To Forgive

I'm home and it's a great feeling. I'm so done with being in camp, despite not being in there for the past 3 months, I don't miss it at all. Probably just some of the people there; the cookhouse aunties and uncles and some friends here and there that I've not seen for so long. My bunk's stuffy as usual and totally dusty. Well no choice I guess, the guys are busy doing the fun-packing for NDP.

Speaking of which, I must say that it's indeed a damn tiring affair to be involved with fun-packing. Kudos to my company for doing that for the past few weeks and being so hardworking, finishing quota after quota per day. I helped out for a few days and I already feel that it's wearing me out and I wonder how do the rest of them keep it up for so long. Well done and endure for it's just another week before we can finally call it a day.

My Ord date is getting closer and I'm gonna clear my leave very soon. 2 years will be passing by pretty soon since the 1st day that I've enlisted. Looking back, it certainly was enriching being in the army. Of course, there had been times when it was tough, perspiring like no body's business, getting punished, forced to be almost bald, made to do this and that against your will.. the list is countless. The camaraderie shared in the past was a strong bond that we had. Sadly though, I do not share that with my platoon mates anymore. When I was helping platoon 5 with the fun-packing, I saw the jokes that they fired at each other and it reminded me of the times my own platoonmates and I had and it brought back nice memories. The best thing is, these can stay as memories that I'd treasure. I miss also those in my bunk in my BMT days. Clive, Leslie, Minghui, Shengzhi, Boonkeng.Many things have changed and these changes are irreversible. Well between some people it can never be changed and I'm glad it has stayed this way.

I've come across a person who dislikes these two individuals so much but yet, the former still behaves like it's fine between them in front of everybody. He complains to me about how much he detests them but he doesn't act that way at all when the time comes for them to interact face to face. He would instead follow on with their jokes against him and pretend to act so pitiful and "cute", if that's the word to use. Isn't is sad to use a mask? Anyhow, for me, I certainly can't stand these two as well and I'm so glad I won't have to see them for the rest of my life. And I'm so certain that's how they feel towards me, but I'm totally a 100% ok with that, cause I will never ever see myself being in peace with them. I cannot stand being in the same room as them and I'm glad this will be all over. Honestly, I'm pretty glad I was home for 3 months cause I'm free from seeing their stinking faces. I've always asked others to forgive and forget like how Christ teaches us and let bygones be bygones, but honestly, I can't say the same for this and in a way, I feel ashame of myself. Because I'm not able to follow whatever advices I give to others. Maybe, this is how they really feel after all. And finally I understand.

2005-07-22T23:55:00.000+08:00

The One With Being Thankful

Can I just say how much I appreciate my mother and my sister? They have always, (despite coming home all tired from work) cleaned up the house, mopped the floor and keeping everywhere dustfree. Not that my dad doesnt, just that he does other kinds of housework, and I'm learning from him as well.

Anyway, I was back in camp on Tuesday and as I've reflected before in my past entry, my sleeping area was in a mess and full of dusts. Except that this time it has been much more dirtier when I can actually see a cm or two worth of dust on my bedsheet and kilometres worth of dusts under my bed haha.. Cleared them up already, but my room's still stuffy and I thank God for the air-con in my own room! Thats the reason why I'm back tonight really, to enjoy the comforts of home although I've had that for the past 3 months, but its never enough, cause home is where we would call the sweetest. I have to be like up at 0430hrs later to be back in camp by 0645hrs. Dont ask me why, cause its a long long story.

I took the overhead bridge this evening while walking to church and I took a look up into the cloudless sky, filled with the beautiful lights from the stars and I was brought back down to memory lane when I took a special and romantic walk at this certain overhead bridge with a special someone before and there we gazed up into the skies, admiring the stars. Simple as it sounds, but with simple things like these, I'm happy enough to thank God for that event that has taken place. It was only a short simple one minute walk across the bridge but with her, everything was made special. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, that in life, we should try to look at the little things that make us happy and be optimistic about anything that has happened to us. Good or bad, I'm sure God has a reason to let us experience it. So instead of feeling moody and angry with God for certain bad things that has happened to us, why not look at it in another point of view and transform it to a good angle of looking at it? Take is as a lesson that God wants us to learn so that we would not make that mistake again next time. Am I going out of point? I sure hope not.

Life is made up of countless events that happen to us. Good or bad. But the best thing is that we are equipped with this special weapon called 'choice' to decide if we want good things to happen to us. If we take a wrong turn and have made a wrong choice, we would not be benefit from it, but suffer, if that's the right word to use.

Sometimes we expect to live a perfect life, free from worries, stress, betrayals and problems. We hope that things go easy for us and lament when things don't. Shall we just take a moment to look at this simple illustration. In Singapore, we are free from natural disasters or massive terrorists attacks and people in other countries might give anything they have in return to be living in Singapore; to lead a life of peace and tranquility, free from evil thoughts of men filled to destroy the country or free from the natural disasters of tsunamis, typhoons, hurricanes and earthquakes. And in Singapore, some people would give anything they have to be in these countries filled with never ending beautiful sceneries, the four seasons and perhaps exotic places of interests that can never be found in Singapore. But the beauty lies where God don't give us a perfect place to live in, so that we can be THANKFUL for whatever good things that we already have. Can you imagine, if everything was in order for us, we would not harbour hopes of being thankful to God and in turn be ungrateful and complacent? Well, these are just thoughts and you may beg to differ. But I guess this is what I currently have in my mind.

Would love to thank ED for the session that I attended earlier. It has made me realise that I should take a stand to make a committment to serve in church. And I will, not because I have to, but because I want to. Urging all of you who have thoughts on leaving to return back, and think about your own conficamp, subsequent camps you've attended/been to/helped to plan for and the various countless sessions you've attended in your own youth groups and think about how much HE has touched you then. Be optimistic and remember, there's never a problem larger than God's love for us that we can't handle. With HIM, everything or anything impossible will be possible.

Goodnight! :)

2005-07-17T03:58:00.000+08:00

The One With The New Link

Hi all, I've stumbled upon a website and it's found under my links, its called, "The Foundation for a Better Life". Found it really very inspiring, so do take a look at it yup? It features excellant stuff for us to better our lives. And why shouldn't we pamper ourselves once in a while to read about things to make us feel happy? Hope you'll enjoy that website as much as I do. :)

meiling's birthday

2005-07-17T02:43:00.000+08:00

The One With The Gathering

Don't you ever feel that gatherings are beautiful and exceptionally awesome when you are with people you love and are comfortable with? It has been ages since I've last seen my ex-classmates and if I'm not wrong, the last time was in January, during Joan's 21st. It was heartwarming to see them all again today during Meiling's 21st and everyone of them are doing so well. The girls are now with their stable jobs and drawing salaries that are surely much better than all of the rest of us. The guys are going to army soon, with the exception of Bernard and myself. With him being a full fledge civilian, (my turn will come soon this 2nd Sept) and a few others who've just got in. We talked about old times, when some of us would copy from one another back in school, our future that we'd embark and of course, our very own Birthday Girl.
It was lovely hanging out with them and I do see this bond growing stronger. Well, for one, I've neglected them for a pretty long time and I guess it's time I will get myself back to their circle of friendship. Special thanks to some of them who put in so much effort to always call me for gatherings, despite my inability to meet up with them. And remember guys, I have reasons, not excuses! Haha..

Had music practice before meeting up with my ex-classmates and it went really well. The best part was when we came up with a different way of introducing and playing "In moments like these". It was suppose to be a very slow and worshipy song but we made it to a praise song, and it was meant to be a song for us to end the session tommorrow on a high note. Kudos to our wonderful musicians, Cynthia, Felicia and Szeliang. And my co-praise and worship leaders, Stacie and Samantha. Well, I seldom use this phrase and often find it pretty much cliche but I have to contradict myself this once, you guys ROCK! :) Looking very much forward to our session tommorrow. Have a lovely weekend you guys. :)

Photos of Meiling's Birthday will be up really soon.

wala's.

2005-07-16T02:17:00.000+08:00

The One With Retail Therapy

Good morning people.. Friday was great, slacked at home and went out shopping on my own at citylink mall and my aim was Adidas! Yes, I'm a great fan but I'm always poor so now that I've just got my pay, I will spend it on these beautiful clothes. :)

Went to Wala's with Eugene, Miss Tan (Mich), Stacie, Cynthia and Fiona. It was really good this time round. For some of the 1st timers, they told me they've really enjoyed themselves. Well, it's great hanging out with old friends and having fun with the booze. Till next time, sleep tight. :)

the masks

2005-07-14T02:05:00.000+08:00

The One With Random Thoughts.

Had a meeting with Stacie and Samantha this evening to discuss about the session that we'd conduct this Sunday during YA and the topic that we had to cover is incidentally the same as what we did in Conficamp and its about the masks that we'd put on in our everyday life. It was a lovely time sharing with them about our lives that we lead and the perceptions of one's true self.

Is it a stuggle to be self opinionated and forceful in your thoughts and actions? Is it tough to even think about how others would feel when you do not think before you talk? Is it hard to sometimes serve in a community where you have to be patient with your friends and listen to their point of views?

To be judgemental, is I believe, something that we do every single day. How not to be? Take these few examples and please, correct me if I'm ever wrong.
1) You'd have to judge whether Fish A is fresher than Fish B before making a purchase.
2) You'd have to judge whether or not by crossing the road without the Green Man being on would endanger your life.
3) You'd have to judge whether is staying up late in the night will affect your following day's performance in school or at work.
4) You'd have to judge whether is it wiser to spend more time at home slacking around rather than getting ready early to meet your friends and thus by doing so, you'd save alot on the cab fare if you don't decide to take the bus and be late but by having the cab, you'd get to stay home slightly longer and waste money? (ok it's late at 0230hrs, I can't think properly and I know that's grammatically wrong, but you get the drift don't you?)

So we judge alot on matters pertaining to our lives and we do judge people don't we? Yes, I do judge others from time to time because I'm human and I'm not perfect. I do reflect on what I think about them and constantly ask myself, am I like that as well? No, this is not about being paranoid or overly sensitive, however some of you may feel about me. I feel it's just about taking stock on who I really want to be. There was a time I wasn't on the right route of my life, screwing myself up badly with the company that I had. They weren't bad, just that the things I did were frown upon by many who don't agree, thus by me deciding to do them, I had to choose to give up the friends I have in church whom I hold dearly and cherish deeply in my heart. Commitment issues led to the point of whether I'd ever be able to contribute to church fully without qualms. I know I want to cause I want to give back what the church has given me to grow life spiritually with Christ. It was a painful stuggle to attend YA every sunday morning with fresh thoughts of what I did the night before in clubs, dancing and fooling around and being not the Adrian that my family and friends hope I would be. It was a struggle to decide if I would want to put on the mask and be this Adrian on Saturday nights and to be another on Sunday mornings. Sadly, the route I took was the former and because I was ashamed to step foot into a place full of youths who embrace Christ, I didn't dare to be around them cause I felt I wasn't even a person anywhere closely connected to Christ the way I should be and be the Adrian that God wants me to be. In simpler terms, I felt immersely unworthy to be praising God at that time. By doing that, I lost precious time that I should have with my church mates. This feeling of regret would never be explained in words because although it wasn't a life changing one, it was more of an experience but it changed the thoughts of certain people they have in me, never ever to be irreversible. What struck me like how lightning would strike a tree is that I was being badly spoken by him and he remarked that they shouldn't care about me cause I'm a "goner" and that I wouldnt be back in church to serve Christ. Well, your so wrong. I firmly believe that if I didn't take the wrong route and in a way repent and came back to church, I wouldn't be who I am today. Roll your eyes or smirk if you want, I don't care cause I know and I believe that I've grown stronger to embrace my faith and yes to be more Holy, because I'm trying.

Is there ever a need to tell others about what you do to benefit others, the community or your friends? What's the point in telling others the good things that you do? It's just to make yourself seem great and faultless. Why not let God see for his very own eyes. I detest people who are self opinionated and decide that things have to be done their way. I detest it when they don't try to listen to what others have to say. Thing is, they do know that they have this flaw, but why not try to change? Some perceive me as a nice person and try to go out of my way to help others, now, what the hell is wrong with doing that? By doing this, I'm being who I am then and I try because it's perhaps to atone for sins that I've committed before. I'm not rich, I can't contribute so much financially. I'm not smart, I've not gone to a college or a polytechnic, therefore I feel I'm not intelligent to contribute to ideas that you guys always have. I'm not a leader, I can't lead and be influential to my friends. I'm not any of the above, so i'd just serve in church by being nice and doing whatever people ask me to do. Is that so wrong? Why must I be misunderstood so strongly? Tell me people who read this, if it's wrong to try to be nice to others and by doing so, I should be persecuted and told that by trying too hard, I come across as unreal? It's hard to please everyone and I'm not striving to do that. I'm just trying to be a little like Jesus, being nice to everyone. I know I'm no where near him at all, because he surpasses all of us and as the Son of God, he's perfect. We are all made in God's likeness and as Catholics, shouldn't we try to be living our lives through his teachings? What's wrong with me wanting to repent and to try to curb myself away from my old habits and be how God wants me to be? All I'm just asking is for you to stop looking at me with those eyes of yours and let me do what I think I can do to serve the church and the community around us. Yes, you can talk about me to whoever you want and tell them whatever you feel about me, cause I'm not going to let that affect me. Why should I? People have told me to just ignore what you say and just do what I think it's right. Of course, on my own, I do check back with them to affirm my thoughts and actions. Sometimes by you doing and saying all these, it makes me feel so broken, so helpless and so unworthy to step into the house of God. Are you unhappy over the way I portray myself to be? Why should you feel this way anyway? If you really care, then sit me down and talk to me about it, I'd be happy to embrace your thoughts, opinions and words. I take what you have for me as challenges and I will strive to improve myself. It's increasingly hard to struggle and battle with this almost everyday with new struggles to up keep and conflicting issues I have to face with you. It's increasingly hard to maintain the friendship that we have. And finally I understand, that things will never be the same again. I have never, had never and will never ever think myself as perfect even if you think that I think of myself that way. I can't change your perceptions about me, but I do hope you'd look at it with a broader understanding and know that there are many things in life you have to learn to accept. Because life is just like that.

Fantastic four

2005-07-10T02:41:00.000+08:00

The One With All Being Fantastic

So my week was fantastic. Have been swimming a lot these few weeks because that's the only legal sport I'm suppose to be doing. Can't run at all, cause if I do, I'd be faced with painful after effects from my knee's injury. I hate this, I want to RUN! I miss running with my platoon during battalion runs, where I'd try to keep up my pace with them. The faster ones like Weilun, Daniel and Youkeng. They were the reasons why my running time has improved. I miss running with some of my jogging buddies, Changyan and Guorong and my brother in law, Gabriel. I miss running the route that I'd always run whenever the weekends draw near. I miss my platoon mates, I miss those days in BMT, those days when I was training with them to be field engineers. I miss those days we would go outfield. I wish I was part of the NDP preparations. But oh well, as much as my heart misses them, they won't feel the same way. We have way too much of misunderstandings between us. And yes, I'm the cause for most of them.

The good thing is, I still see Victor, Kay, Zixian and Tiancai. Was suppose to see Jon yesterday as well, but he was busy I guess. Woke up slightly around noon yesterday and I went swimming, had a late lunch and stayed at home till around dinner time. Didn't have plans until 9 plus when I got a call from Victor. Now, you do know I'm trying my best to quit clubbing but I've not seen them in ages so I thought, why not? After all, the entrance to this certain club would've been free and I don't need to drink that much either, thus spending quite little that night. And so I thought after not clubbing for 2 months or more, I might enjoy and soak myself in the night life that I once enjoyed before. To my surprise, I didn't at all find that evening pleasurable. I'm sure it was the loud music that insistently boomed throughout the dance floor, the posers who were pretending they could dance to the beat of R&B so well, the men and women who would desperately try to seduce each other in their own saucy dance moves, couples smooching all over the place (clubs are not a romantic place, damn it!), people who couldn't hold their liquors at 11pm (yes! It's so damn early to be looking all dazed and dead!) and started vomiting all over the place, and almost immediately, I asked myself, was I ever like one of those people before? Oh yes, I'm sure. So, I'm not entirely judging these people cause I guess from another's point of view he or she might have caught me in any of those acts before. Let's not rule out any possibilities. Right, so I deem those acts disgusting and to defend myself (haha!), I would say it was a passage of growing up.

Do you know of anyone who would be attached and yet still fool around in clubs, whether or not it is with their ex? Oh well, they blame it on the alcohol then. (yeah bloody right!) How easy it is to put the blame on the manufacturers of the drink of evil we all want to immerse ourselves in? Isn't it such a shame not to be enjoying the drink by pure partying but take upon yourself to be involved in the sins of the flesh? Ah, to each his own you might say, but I think it's self control. It's time to wake up and learn you. You are not young anymore and please be fair to your other half. You seem to be such a leader in your own way and a child of God, but there you are doing all these that you KNOW you shouldn't at ALL be doing. If you want to take this person back, by all means do it! Don't cause confusion for others by not knowing what you really want. Make a choice, stick by it and live by it. Others will then look up to you. For now, I know I have lost complete respect for you. Why? You know why.

And so I thought I wouldn't have any plans again today but I was wrong, what started of as a simple act of turning on my computer led me to a day filled with great company with Bryan, Mark, Fel and Damien. Saw Mark online and he told me he would be around here for the preparation of the trip to World Youth Day with Bryan. So before meeting him and Bryan for a fantastic lunch at Hougang Mall, I went for a fantastic swim to work up some appetite. Mum told me she has plans to change my PC screen from the box kind to the 17 inch flat screen, and the two of them gave me ideas on where I could get an offer. Thanks you guys, I shall check out that website pretty soon. So, we were in the car and we were talking a little on our childhood! Fantastic stuff I tell you. It was about Bare Knuckles, Teenage Mutants Ninja Turtles, Golden Axe, Street Fighter and Power Rangers! Ring a bell? Yes! It was those childhood games we would have on Sega and how we would take out the cartridge to blow the ends to make sure that there weren't any dusts stuck to the computer chips. And how our parents would nag at us to sleep when we were still caught playing with them in the ghost of the night. Such fantastic memories.

Mark and I met Fel at her place and I felt a little bored watching the Initial D cartoon version, so I thought I'd pay Shawn a visit, since he lives in the same estate as Fel. Talked for a little bit on our own future, our past in primary and secondary schools. He's one gifted person for he'd be studying his degree in the UK on music. It certainly was fantastic seeing him again. :)

So Damien came to pick us up and we decided upon having a fantastic dinner at Jurong Point. If you've guessed Fish and Co, ah, your indeed clever. Met one of my supervisor friends there, this kind and polite young Indian chap, if I didn't mis spell his name, I think its Mardi. Now, would you care to guess what movie we caught? Here's a hint, it's a word I've been using in this whole entry. And seriously, I'm pretty much sick of using that same word over and over again. Haha..
Incidentally, Mark was named Mr Fantastic, Fel as The Invisible Women, Dam as The Human Torch, and I'm The Thing. Oh yes, I've become seriously strong overnight, so don't mess with me. Hahaa..

Ewen wasn't with us today for he had to be at a CJC camp as a facilitator, couldn't reach Ben on his mobile, John didn't receive his calls and the few others couldn't make it for tonight. The guys would be off to Bangkok next week and oh how I wish I'd be with them this time for an overseas trip. Didn't get a chance to go for Langkawi last year because of my commitment issues and because of this stupid MC that I have, I'm not liable to leave Singapore. Next time I guess, perhaps like how Ewen, Ben and myself will plan for the rest, Nepal we shall go. I do hope Ivan and John will come along. Haha!

The garlic smell is still strong in my mouth now and I've brushed my teeth twice already!! I think I wouldnt put so much garlic in my food, the next time I've a trip to Fish/Co.

So, the week was great and it wasn't planned at all. With great company, who needs plans? :)

being happy

2005-07-06T01:15:00.000+08:00

The One With Being Happy

Hi all, I've got this article from a website that I was browsing. Hope it'll help you in some way when your feeling down. There'd be some points that are only applicable to Catholics solely because I got this from a Catholic website. Of course, for those non-catholic friends who are reading this, I'm sure you can apply the other points and perhaps come up with some yourself. Being Happy never stops at just 10, 11 or 12 points. Many ways we can all discover. :)

Staying happy is sometimes hard. Happiness comes from within. Often happiness is a choice that we can make.

1. Decide to be Happy - Yes, we all have reasons to be angry, sad, disappointed, and depressed, but we all have reasons to be happy. Instead of focusing on what keeps you down, focus on what keeps you up.

2. Smile - Try to smile when you don't feel like it. The very act of smiling can just make you feel like a new person. Smiling invites others to feel happy too.

3. Be with Others - Don't be alone too much. Being alone makes you focus on yourself. Talk to others and motivate others to be happy. Ask others about themselves and show interest. Happiness is contagious.

4. Help Others - Helping others makes you see your gifts that God gave you. You also have an opportunity to make someone's life just a bit more pleasant.

5. Be Happy with What you Have - Stop comparing what others might or might not have and being jealous. Look at what you have. I challenge you to write down 100 things/reasons you're thankful. You'll see you have a lot to be grateful for.

6. Look at the Silver Lining - In about every situation, there is some hope or something good. Never give up hope in life. Hope keeps you going.

7. Pray - Pray to God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit that They help you to be happy. They can inspire you.

8. Attend Mass Regularly - Of course it's a Holy Day of Obligation to attend Mass on Sunday. Make sure you do because it will make you feel happy. When possible, try attending the daily Masses. The more time you spend with God, the better you'll feel.

9. Slow Down - Enjoy life. We only have one shot at life. Each day gives us opportunity to do something great.

10. Reassess Your Priorties - Are God and your family dropping in your list of priorties? It could be time to reassess what is important. When you're meeting your priorties, you'll feel happier.

Bonus Happy Tip 11. Forgive Others - Forgive people who hurt you. Forgive yourself. Go to confession and start off clean. Everyone makes mistakes, but it's our choice if we hold on to them or let them go.

My 12th tip to you is to keep friends who are genuine for your friendship and who are willing to have a good laugh with you anytime, anywhere. I don't mean we don't keep the rest, just that, treasure those whom you care about and know that they feel the same way about you. Those that you know who are pretentious in nature, it's better to stay clear of them, cause you do know that sometime, somewhere, they'd be the ones causing you that tiny bit of unhappiness and the key to having a good health is to be happy, isn't it?

I know I laughed really hard the evening before with the 3 of them. Well guys, I'm sure the neighbourhood school boys and the SJI school boys do have a knack for some cranky jokes. :)